Thursday, October 13, 2005

the importance of gender in babies

People ask me if I want a boy or a girl. Sometimes it's a complete stranger at the grocery store, assuming I am pregnant, and not just oddly fat. My normal response to non-family is to pause, smile lovingly at my children, both boys, and say that I don't care what we have, as long as baby is healthy, and happy, and preferably has all requisite parts. Sometimes, I believe it myself.
I have people tell me how, financially it makes more sense to have another boy, hand me downs, you know. Excuse me? I have two boys already, born in different months and growing at two completely unrelated speeds. I haven't been able to use any hand me downs yet. On top of that, one day, they will be teenagers. Teens wear through their clothing quickly. Teens also eat... a lot...food costs money.
I have the people tell me how nice it would be after two sons, to have a daughter. I can see that, They rarely elaborate. I can understand. Secretly, I really, really, want a daughter. Hubby has wanted a daughter from the start. It;s the whole "mamma's boy & daddy;s girl" thing. Bigguy has always favored me, and I know that hurts Hubby. Honestly we will be happy with a boy or a girl, we will love the child regardless, and cherish the child regardless.
But, still, I want a girl.
As frustrating as all this is, it's the people who tell me I need to have a girl. Like somehow, I, a female, have some choice in gender selection, especially after conception. They somehow seem to think that the gender of my baby is somehow going to upset the delicte balance of the world, if I have a boy. A third baby boy will be responsible for the complete undoing as civilization as we know it, but a girl...NO PROBLEM!!! She will bring sweetness and light, she will be gentle, she will not scream all night.
You know what? A baby is a baby. Until a certain age, there is really no differense between a boy baby and a girl baby with the exception of the following-how you dress them, and the dangly bits. That's all. A girl child will not be any more or less prone to anything than a boy child is. Well, that's not quite true, colorblindness favors men, as do hemophilia. A woman will not get prostrate cancer or suffer from erectile dysfunction, but you understand my meaning.
What difference does it matter what I have, as long as we, as a family, love the baby.
And ya know what? we already do.

1 comment:

Mom the Hipple said...

Jazz Dad says that if you have a boy there is still no reason why I can't dress it up in cute little dresses, if that is really what I have my heart set on. I just have to do it when the baby is visiting with us.