Monday, August 30, 2010

First day of school!

Today is the illustrious forst day of fourth grade for Hermes! Wednes would have been the first day of school for Thor, but there were issues that I will get into later here, and later in a post over at Navigating The Spectrum. That there's a blog that Mindy and I started to recount our experiences having kids on the spectrum, just so ya'know.
Hermes was thrilled, Thor was himself, Loki is sad that he has to wait another year for real big boy school.
The house is slowly settlin' into it's new routine.
I still have a month to wait til I start classes again, so I have a month of relative sanity before it gets all crazy up in here.

Monday, July 19, 2010

of physical and mental health and changes

First, the changes, lets start with the obvious, shall we? I changed the site some, I thought the new look was well overdue, and I like the background. I don't yet know if I like the background stationary as the blog scrolles up and down within it, readers, all 3.6 of you, let me know what you think!
In other changes, and mental health, I have started taking St Johns Wort to help with my depression and anxiety issues. I am also finding it helping in other ways as well. Before everyone jumps on the warning my about SJW wagon, let me state, quite clearly, that I am aware of the side-affects, am being monitored, and am already seeing improvements. Being on a med 3x day sucks, but the benifits outweigh that.
I am hungry at regular intervals again, and eating normal portions again, this pleases me, not so much because I was concerned about my weight, as I have fully embraced it, but because it's noce to eat regularly, and normal quantities, as opposed to binging once a day and having a late night snack.

Also, readers, my allergies are kicking my ass ten ways from sunday. I am so over my sinuses right now, just sayin'.

I am also going to try to update more regularly. I know, I know, y'all have heard that before. Now, though, instead of trying to write something you would want to read, I am gonna write whatever I need to write, and hopefully y'all will still come along for the ride.

To recap- site changed look, I am changing mental and physical health.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Not a posting fail, but a personal choice

I was going to apologize for my posting fail during the bulk of April. I was really psyched to do my AAM series, but I did not.
The reason I did not post more was that I made the decision to, instead of writing about all the things that Thor has brought into my life, to share them with him.
We spent a glorious number of hours dancing, singing, talking about colors, shapes, feeling, textures, and on and on
We cuddled, snuggled, huggled, and had many other forms of physical contact which I did not know were different, until he explained it to me.
I found out the emotions have smells.
Happy smells good, sad smells icky, angry smells harsh, like hot peppers and vinigar.
I just enjoyed my kid.
Something that I plan on doing every day, regardless of the month.
I will still post, but all three of them are my first priority.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

AAM part 3- music

Sorry about the delay in posting my AAM updates, but as stated in the first post- Loki's Birthday, and Taxes.

Thor, through his perception of life, as a kid with an ASD, has given me a whole new appreciation of music. Music is EVERYWHERE! The wind in the trees, the rain on the window, road noises, and my personal favorite, the different pitches and tones made by stairs. Wooden stairs sound different than concrete, slatted wood sound different than a solid peice, grates of iron sound different than steel, and the distance the stair is from the ground matters, too.

When I was a kid, hell, even now, as an adult, I ADORE the stairs at the Science Museum at my state. They are musical. They are wired to a system of chimes and are so much fun to run, jump, skip, etc on. Thor loves stomping on any stairs, in any manner to make music.

Thor also loves the music in games. Not the preprogrammed music, but the music made my blowing up balls, birds flying, etc...

I have a whole new appreciation of where and what music is because of him.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

AAM part 2- the color green

Thor informed me, after he did a road trip to Utah with his paternal granparents two years back,that there are 236 distinct different colors of green. I do not question this. Green tastes good, but feels bad on the feet. Green lets you know that it's time to go, go fast, and that things are growing.
Green is also the color of the outside of watermelon, but not the inside.
Thor loves colors, and is very specific about them.
Until he told me, I never realized how many things were green. I did not take pleasure in all the green that was available.
His ability to distinguish fine differences in similar shades makes him an awesome picker of green foods. Cukes, peppers, fresh beans, apples all taste better when he chooses them, as he knows what color 'ripe' green is for each of these. He also seems to know the second a banana is ripe, and has no more green, even if you think it's yellow already.
I gained an all new respect for green.

Monday, April 05, 2010

It's that month again- AAM part 1

super busy tax prep month for accounting folk
Loki's birthday month
the first month that feels like spring
Autism Awareness Month

As always, a bunch of people always remind me that this is Autism Awareness Month (AAM). I fully understand that I am reminded of this because it's their way of saying 'Hey, I care, and I have no other way to say it.' At the same time, it gives me a steady month of wanting to yell, scream, shout, whimper, moan, cry, tell, explain, and do it all over again that I will never forget that April is AAM. I have an autistic child, a child with autism, a youth on the spectrum, an ASD kid, however the PC way of saying it is now, and the PC way of saying it changes, often.

I am becoming increasingly aware that being he is a child with autism, he will be an adult with autism, as well as becoming more aware that we won't fully grasp what that means until he is older.

Having a son on the spectrum means that I have two other sons who are all to familiar with being on the spectrum. They have come to accept that sometimes, Thor becomes the center of the universe as we try and figure out what, out of a hundred things, could be wrong, is out of place, doesn't feel right, look right, smell right, etc..

Hermes and Loki have become experts, at the ages of almost 9 and very nearly 4, of interpreting Thor's movements, tones, pitches, volumes, happy and sad times, and all else, to give him what he needs, wants, etc...

Hermes has given up having birthday parties, Loki has only had a party for his first. Parties are too much for Thor.
Loki has become Thor's shadow, while understanding that Thor shadows him, as it gives him a feeling of constant companionship.

Loki shares a bed with Thor, as Thor doesn't sleep well on his own, but we are weening him from that dependancy.

Thor used a sippy cup until t wo months ago, at home, except for meal times, as that was what was used, we had to find a surrogate.
Potty training is still happening, as we cannot get him to poop consistantly in the potty.
speech is hit and miss
everything is hit and miss.
but I wouldn't trade it for anything
For all the 'normal' experiences I have lost, I have gained more than I can put into words.
For AAM this year, I am, regularly, going to try and post about what I have gained.
In order to do this, I must touch on what was lost, but will emphasize the good over the bad, and the easy over the hard. Stay tuned.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Overheard, and my comments to myself

Sitting in the student commons at school last night, I overheard two women discussing how long it took them to get ready for school, and how easy all the men in class had it. A third woman entered the conversation, to ask what they meant.
The original two women went off on how they "had" to look good, they "had" to be pretty, put on makeup, do their hair, wear flatterring clothes, nice shoes, etc... whereas all the male students had to do was hop in the car/on the bus and show up.
The third woman looked at the first two and said "I don't know about you, but I am paying my tuition to learn, in an environment condusive to learning, in whatever damn clothes I put on that day!"

Internally, I was right on board with the third woman.
Internally, I was also marvelling at the ages of the women having this conversation. My college has a rather large 'adult learner' population. The majority of students are not fresh out of highschool. The majority of students are not even in their twenties. The two women who started this conversation were in their mid thirties!! The third woman, one of our few fresh from highschool students. The fact that a younger woman had the guts to stand up for what she felt was right to two older women was awesome. The fact that the younger woman got it, that school is a place to learn first, social network second, and that it's not a club or meat market is awesome!

I worry about out society when the message is so deeply ingrained that we must live up to an unobtainable beauty standard that women are spending hours getting ready for a four hour class.