Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Open letter to the snooty poeple who piss me off!!!

Well, I'm feeling prolific today!

Dear people at the store, gas station and restaurants:
Quit pissing me off!!I have enough shit to deal with without you commenting on my appearance or how I raise my children. I can only assume you base how I raise my children on the basis of what I wear,drive purchase and how the dress and act in public being you have never met me nor spent any time with me(Thanks be). Yes-I took the first shower I have had in nearly a week today, I have two children to raise in the hopes that they not act like you, and quite frankly, tho showering falls near the top of my priority list it's not the end all be all of my existance. Yes-my older son was wearing a wizards hat as opposed to a winter cap-but it is wool, warm and let's him believe for a few brief shining moments that he is someone he is not, in a land better than this, with amazing abilities abd talent. Even though he has his unique skill set I am very proud of turning a cat into a teacup isn't one of them. Yes, my little guy wascrying-You know what? Babies do that. a lot. for no reason sometimes. It happens. I am NOT a bad mother because I let him cry for exactly one minute before feeding him. I figured it would be easier for all those involved if I made my breast available outside the bra before he started nursing. And yes, I breastfeed in public, I keep myself as covered as possible and am descreet as possible and if you don't like it, stop staring!!!!! It's a boob! women have them! Hell, some men have them!!! I do my best to raise them well, to teach them respect for all others and let them be individuals.If you don't like it-raise your own children and leave me the f### alone.
Thank you.


I just realized that I didn't have my comments section properly set up. Now anyone and everyone can comment on my life, how that differs from normal is beyond me. I would also like to apologise for my short hyatis. Little man is an early teether and is cross teething to boot. That, for those of you who are not parents, means that his teeth are trying to come in in a different order that what is standard. Normally the front teeth bottom, than top com in followed by the sides, cuspids I think they are called.(I normally call them the canines) This is much more painful for the littleman, and being he is only two an a half months now..we are limitied in the forms of pain relief we can use. Due to the extra attention littleman is getting-bigguy is acting up. Nothing beats a tyrranical 3 year old on a mission for more attention.
On a different note-the holiday season has come and gone for most of us. I am supposed to see my dad tomorrow to do the gift exchange (clothing and dorky toys for the boys-who knows what for me and hubby) This is always a really wierd time for me and the Defunt dad, i remember being seventeen, eighteen, nineteen on op through 21 jumping everytime the phone rang waiting for it to be him, half wanting to be normal, half wanting to yell at him for dissapearing and he never called. Then one day I had Bigguy and everything was supposed to be normal again as far as he was concerned, and I still want to just stand up and yell at him! "Where were you, what did I do, why couldn't you call, why couldn't you stop by mom's when you drove past her house every damn day you went to work!?!?!?!?!?" but for some reason I can't. I had an idealized version of him in my head for so long I don't want to let go of it. But I am now realizing he is human, and as such can fail someone. He let me down and I know that now-I just don't know why. Oh and evil step-mom will be there too-being overly nice so I don't take away the grandbabies I guess.
Man, that was a downer.
Christmas rocked though! We all got neat stuff and everyone seemed to like the stuff we foisted off on them. Ask Space waitreess about her blanket! I am glad she liked it.
Jazzcat gave us a check to put in our savings for a house so that we ma bbe living on our own again in something we own.
Mom was frazzled but good and managed for the first time to by gifts for Hubby that he likes and well fit him all at the same time. Yeah Mom!
Well. thats enough for now I suppose. I would like to leave you all with a thought till next time. If humans evolced from primates, why the hell did we get rid of tails and opposable toes??Think of the multi-tasking!

Friday, December 03, 2004

You'll shoot your eye out!!

Took the boys to see Santa today with my mom. While standing in line that fabulous scene from "A Christmas Story" kept running thru my head. I want a red rider bb gun.
Heh. frageelay

Monday, November 29, 2004

Turkey Trauma

Ok, Thanksgiving probably wasn't traumatic-but it will be remembered always. Our guest showed up 2 hrs early, we had way more food than people-the dog bit someone-and the mother-in-law to be got a migraine. The plus side? Bigguy kept his pants on the entire meal!!! Now we eat the leftovers. At my family's 2nd annual sunday after thanksgiving meal, I felt tired and slightly invisible-but the kids had a blast. Mom got to spend time with both boys-Bigguy played some of the most entertaining video games ever, and a good time was had by all. It's wierd to see how group interrection between myy self and my siblings have changed now that I have 2 kids, but it's to be expected. My world revolves around potty training, diapers, teething, clothing sizes, reading childrens books and other kid stuff. The siblings can see movies, go clubbing, go shopping without having to worry about whats prominently displayed in the toy aisle, and just as long as their bills are paid, worry about themselves.
I was thinking back to my child-free days, and my rare single days and I realized as frustrating as it is to be a mom-I wouldn't go back for anything. I appreciate my Mom much more now than I ever did before-I have the hubby-sha did most of this alone, I can stay home with my boys-she had to work to support us girls and still find time to be there for us, I have pretty muchmore people to go to with my prblems than I'll ever need-she only had a few. Now I understand why she seemed so tired(she was), so frustrated(she was), and why she was so happy to get away for a little while. It wasn't that she didn't love us, want to spend time with us, and all the other things you think when you are a little kid. It was because she loved, cared, and wanted to be a good mom that she had time to herself-you can't raise kids when your on your wits end. I love my mom more now than when I was 13. I understand her more now. I need her more now. I am THANKFUL for her now. as an aside-my dad still sucks.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004


Sunday was the 50th birthday bash for the coolest step-dad in the whole world-herein referred to as Jazzcat. My mom called about 9 times over the course of two days and duuring the party to get Hubby and me to go. Kids welcome. Wanted to go soooo bad. But...Bigguy was dealing with allergies and a cold and Littleman was dealing with colic and a cold, so we didn't go. I feel like a heel. Jazzcat's been there for me whenever I've needed him for the last 9 years. He's been more of a Dad to me than my father ever is, and i feel like I let him down by not being there to celebrate-that somehow what should've been a perfect evening was marred by my not being there. Sometimes I wonder if I should be able to balance everything-or if it's normal to fall apart after two kids. I think I'm starting to figure out where all the pieces go now.

Friday, November 19, 2004


Sometimes, I wonder if I missed the upgrade for Housewife 3000. Littleman had a really colicky night last night, and Bigguy was up at about 3 am and is still going strong. I know that it is normal to be tired and frustrated right now. I am upset with myself, tho, I need to be supermom, get the laundry done-take care of my kids-make sure Hubby gets enough sleep for work-pray that the kids aren't waking the Hubby's parents, who we livve with till we get our own place again-manage daytime meals-help with evening and weekend meals-breastfeed-keep kids clean-keep Bigguy behaved-do random things around the house-AND look presentable while doing it. Ever try to shower with a 3 yr old knocking on the door and an infant crying??
I know my expectations of myself are unreasonable. I have friends, family and pediatricians all telling me I am doing a fabulous job, and every time I hear it I feel better until I wonder if they're just saying it to appease me and keep me from crying/screaming/becoming an histerical gibbering mess.
Man! My spelling and grammar suck now, too!!!!

If I can't be super woman, can I get 2 more hours in the day?

Thursday, November 18, 2004

stuff, stuff, and more stuff

Being this is new, some stuff about me. When I was 20 I got married. I was divorced at 21. Yeah, people shouldn't get married that young, it's not healthy, you think you know what you want, you're probably wrong. I should've listened to my sister, the Spacewaitress. She said if I was sure it was what I wanted, wait 5 years-then do it. I figured we'd still be together so what difference does 5 years make. Heh! Not listening to my sister has gotten me into more trouble than listening has evrer done.
More stuff- I have now been in a commited relationship for over 4 yrs-we'll get legally married soon enough, but everyone we know has told us we're already married-the gov't just hasn't realized it yet. I have 2 boys-Bigguy is 3 and dangerously smart. He gets his way more often than not because he has a better arguement than I do. Littleman is a month old and colicky- that sucks-otherwise he is perfect in ways that only small children have and adults envy.
Even more stuff-I have a very large not always functional but i love them anyways family.

Oh, and in case you're wondering-yes I am a stay at home mom, and plan on being such for as long as possible.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004


Ok, Housewife2000 has a blog! I feel somehow...modern.