Thursday, August 28, 2008

Welcome to the Palace of Learning, have a fortune cookie.

Hermes' schoo, The Palace of Learning (TPL), had their informational, back to school, night tonight. Hermes and I hopped in the car, srove to school, and were faced with total chaos! Almost all of the students were there, with at least one parent, sometimes more, and some siblings! Sooo many people.
Things we (or I) learned:
1. Bridgit, the froont office, general admin for the school was looking for our reduced lunch form. She hadn't seen them when going through the paperwork, and was pleased when I hand delivered it. One benefit of a small school, they remember who is hurting financially.
2. Betsy let me know that she already has Hermes scheduled for an evel with the new speech and language pathologist/therapist. She is bilingual from childhood Mandarin/English- how perfect is that. Betsy also verified that Hermes' Mandarin was flawless, but his English is mushy. Once again, a small school means they remember issues.
3. We need to get a Drs note about Hermes spider allergy so they can give him Benadryl at school if he is bit. If we do not get a Drs note, they will just call me each bite- there were three spider bites reported in the entire school last year, none were Hermes.
4. The bus will run on emergency release days, so I won't have to pick him up if the weather sucks.
5. EVERYONE loves Hermes. Everyone. I did not see one person who was not genuinely enthused to see him.

I kno have about a week to figure out which after school enrichment activities he will be in. We have a partial list, will get the full pamphlet with cost and set dates next week. The downfall to enrichment activites is that he cannot bus home, the upswing- it is cheaper than outside of school classes.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Something wicked this way comes.

Slwoly, the atmosphere in my neighborhood and the surrounding areas is changing. People are becoming grumpier, trying to figure out how the hell they will be able to get from point A to point B. People are rescheduling long standing plans, stocking up on groceries so they won't have to go out, and all other manner of strange.

What is causing this element on anger, paranoia, and what have you?


The Republican National Convention is being held about 5 miles from my house. My in-laws live about 7 miles from my house. Because of the convention, if I want to drive to their house while the convention proper is scheduled, I will have to go a total of 20 miles OUT OF MY WAY!
I cannot drive the road that takes me from my house to their house, directly. I cannot drive on the road that will take me to half the places I go.

This is nuts. People are pissed, and there is not anything we can do about it except get out thee, march, and make our voices heard.

I don't want the RNC in my town, but moreover, I don't want another Republican in the white house.
Do your part- be heard, capmaign, protest, and get ready to vote.

Monday, August 25, 2008

as long as I have them...

I woke up miserably early this morning. OK, 7:30 isn't all that miserable, but when you were unable to fall asleep until after 4, it sucks. I was alternating between periods of insomnia, hot flashes (have had none for two weeks, was hoping it was it) and painful twinges predicting a kidney stone. I feel like shit- absolute shit. If I am getting a kidney stone, I have water, painkillers, and a hubby who has been there and done that multiple times over. More than likely, I can avoid the doctor, and thus avoid spending money we don't have, just to have someone tell me to drink water, take painkillers, and rest. The only time that a kidney stone warrants a Dr visit is if you are in extreme pain, and need someone to give you drugs, or if the dang things get stuck somewhere, and need help breaking down, getting out. In the last case, trust me, you know you need to see a Dr, now, and no amount of being stoic, or broke, for that matter, will stop you.

Anywho- it is ass early, I feel like shit, so I do the reasonable thing- paying bills, budgeting, etc... Yeah, nothing makes you feel better than trying to sit down and figure out a budget when you are broke. Three kids eat a lot, drink a lot of milk, and so on. We are managing, but I honestly have no clue where we would be right now if not for friends and family. I am facing, point blank, that life sucks, early in the morning, in pain, and feeling rather pitious. I am trying not to cry, as even though I know everything should be all right, it doesn't feel all right at the moment. In short, I was three seconds away from becoming one hot mess.

I figured I had some time to pull my shit together, and not freek anyone out, as I am The Strong One in the family/house and the kids do not handle me anything other than mom-like well. That is when I hear it, the pitter pat of little feet, and the thuddathuddathudda of little feet that are now jumping on the upstairs wood floor.
OK, Housewife- time to pull it together-go and get the kids.
Ahh, a moment of foresite cuts through the pain and pity- if I make their breakfast before I bring them downstairs, the morning will run smoother (insert laugh track here). I pop two waffles into the toaster (and God be praised the grocery store that has toaster waffles in their weekly specials for cheep when money is tight!) go upstairs, and am met at the bedroom door with...
Two angelic, beaming, faces. two little boys who are so happy to see me thay shout out Momma! Good Morning Momma, Love you Momma, and reach up for hugs and kisses.

Currently, Thor and Loki are sitting at the table, eating toaster waffles and drinking milk. Hermes is at a sleepover with his bestest friend.
Thor and Loki do not know how much their not caring that I look like crap, not caring that I am barely keeping shit together, not caring about anything other than that their Momma got them out of bed this morning made my day.

As long as I have them, Thor, Loki, and Hermes (who even though he isn't here, makes my day better, fustrating, but better, every day) I am OK. As long as I have them, I can see that I did something right, something good, and see that I have something to work for.
I may be in debt now, but I will get out of it. I may not have a great job now, but I am changing majors, restarting school this winter, and in a few years I will.
Life may suck for me at the moment, and I still do my best to hide from everyone, including Hubby, that it hits me as hard as it does, but for them, the boys, they don't care. They have what they need, and they are fine. They love me if I feed them generic peanutbutter and jelly on store brand bread just as much as if I feed them Uncrustables, by SMuckers. They don't care that their clothes are from thrift shops, orthe clearance rack at wallmart, that I compulsively clp coupons, that Ramen is cheap, and if I add chicken and veggies, almost healthy, about any of that, they just want to see their Momma in the morning, cuddle before breakfast, play before quiet time, and get a bed time story at night.
If I still have them, it is fine.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Maybe you had to have been there

I am going to relay a story now. This may be one of those things where you had to have been there, but for those who know Thor, and how he moves and says things, maybe not.

Hubby's cousin was visiting fro The Land of Mormon AKA Utah. Cousin was with her boufriend, the same boyfriend she has had for over 4 years. The same boyfriend she has had since she was 14. The boyfriend who moved to freakin Utah for her! Have we mentioned that her boyfriend is one of the greatest guys ever, because he is.

Thor wakes up after they have been here for a bit. Loki (formerly Buddha) wakes up at about the same time. They come screaming down the stares, see Cousin and Boyfriend, and start being shy.
"Thor" I said," Say hi to Cousin!"
"Oh, Hai Cuzzin" says Thor in that LOLcat way of his.
"Thor, can you give Cousin a hug?"
"Oh, no thanks" says he. It was so nonchalant. We all just cracked up.
A few minutes later "Thor, can you give Boyfriend a hug?" and without saying anything, he runs up and hugs Boyfriend.
a few minutes later "Loki, can you say hi to Cousin and Boyfriend?"
he does.
"Can you give Cousin a hug?"
and Loki runs up and hugs....Boyfriend.

We thought this was hugely funny.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

morbid senses of humor, and support.

The Troll Who Lives under Our Stairs, or Friend, lost his mom last noght. She had lung cancer, and pnumonia, brought on by the cancer. She went at home, with her family by her side, which is what she wanted.
Friend is doing as well as could be expected, and is actually thankful for my morbid sense of humor, as it has helped him laugh.
She is being cremated, and wanted each of her kids to have a little bit of her, if they were OK wit that. I commented that he could still bring his dates home to meet his mom, and he cracked up. We went on like this for about fifteen minutes or so, and he said after that he was very thankful, as with the exception of Hubby and I, many people are treating him like a fragile flower at the moment.
He is hurting, but he also had time to plan for this. Thankfully, he does have support, both friends and family, but if anyone wants to have an extra thought or two for him over the next week, it couldn't hurt.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

He's not 'normal' and that is OK.

The mother in law has spent an aweful lot of time with Thor over the summer. first, at the beginning of June, a road trip to Utah. In July, we spent four or five days with her, and then, she took ass three boys for a weekend so we could get down and CLEAN, and then, she just had the older two this weekend in Duluth.
A lot of time spent with a three year old, for sure.
A lot of good has come from this, he is more potty trained at this point than I had ever hoped he would be, he is comfy traveling in the car for long distances, he has seen a lot of great things. One of the downfalls of this is that she still insists that there is nothing really wrong with him, and he will grow out of it.

This is really frustrating on a couple of levels. First, wether or not he will magically grow out of the autism spectrim, and his sensory issues, he is dealing with them now. Second, there is a very real possibility that he will never grow out of it, third, there is a small chance that it could get worse.

Yes, I love when people treat him like a normal kid, but he has some things that make him not nomral. This means that, occasionally, you cannot treat him like an ormal kid. You have to take the time to differentiate between a meltdown and a tantrum before disciplining him, for example. You also have to ask any and every multiple choice question as many times as there are answers, changing the answers each time, so that each answer is last at least once. Why? Because often time, due to echolalia, he will repeat the last word or words he heard. You cannot ask him "Thor, would you like Orange Juice?" as he will generally say "Orange juice" you have to ask "Thor, would you like orange juice? Yes or no? No orange jioce or yes orange juice?" and so on. THis takes a long time, but it also prevents you from becoming upset because you aksed him what he wanted, he told you, and now he won't do anything with it.
Sometimes, even if you do give him what he actually wants, it will be wrong. Understanding is needed that when something is wrong, nothing will make it right.

I hape every day that he is able to lead a fairly normal life, while preparing for the fact that he may not. It would really make her life easier, and mine, if she would do the same, otherwise, I don't know what will happen if he doesn't 'snap out of it' at 7 or 12. I don't know how she will handle it.

Also, she really needs ot stop giving me parenting advice. I know what sort of mom she was, and seriously, her advice is not anything I will really listen to.

Off topic- There may be some name changes in the blog. As Buddha gets older, we realize that Loki may be a better moniker.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Bewarned- removal of your uterus is falling prey to the "patriacharl overplan" Dunh dun DUNHHHH!!!

Pardon the exceptionally long post title, but you will see where it fits in a minute.

As all of my values (10 ) readers know, I had a hysterectomy just over a month ago.
As many of you know, I think of myself as a feminist. Not a spelling women womyn, men are evil, we rule the world, sort of feminist, more of the woman's right to chose, women should be treated the same, we rule the world sort of feminist.

I raise my boys to respect women. I choose to do this by being a stay at home/work from home mom. Partly, this choice was made for me, because DAMN, daycare is expensive! Mostly, though, I made the choice when we only had one, and I was lucky enough to be in a position to take care of him. I would rather raise my own kids. I would like to take this moment to make clear that this is not a mommy-drive-by. Women who choose to work, choose to daycare their kids, choose to stand naked in front of the statue of liberty, all made their choice- it was theirs to make, and there are pros and cons to each one. Women who choose to daycare their kids are no better or worse of mom's than I am, and women, like my own mom, who had thei kids in day care because they were busting their asses working, going to school,m being a single parent with little to no help, they deserve to be cannonized.

Anywho, there is a group of women who believe, and more over a group of men who believe there is a group of women who believe, if you follow me, that the world is run by a Patriarchy- Men rule the world, everything that happ-ens is because of men, and we should fight it at every turn. The unfortunate thing about htis is that the few women who actually believe this cannot agree on how to stop it. I digress.

A woman who believes this recently told me- TOLD ME, that my hysterectomy was playing into the patriarchal overplan. I didn't even know there was a patriarchal overplan. Apparently, I didn't get my wicked-crazy feminist newsletter this month.
I asked how in the world taking out an organ that was doing me not only no good, but great harm, was falling prey to 'The Man!".

Apparently, it was not really diseased (amazing that someone who has never met me in person, who has never read my pathology, seen the imaging, or dealt with the (I shit you not) month and a half of bleeding, with no days off, and cramps that needed prescription grade narcotics to make tolerable, was able to know this). No! It was removed to 'dewomanize me' because the uterus is what makes you a woman.

I asked about transgendered peoples- they are women, they have no uterus. They are women in their souls, apparently.

So, to get this straight- if you were not born with a uterus, your soul makes you a woman. If you WERE born with a pear sized and shaped organ, you are only a woman as long as you have it. Gotcha!

She went on that it was removed to 'shackle me' to their way of thinking, that women are objects, they can do as they please with us, and we allow it.

AHA! I have no more uterus- therefore-I don't count...right?

Finally, I was told it was wrong for me to be a stay at home mom, as I was not showing my boys what a strong, working, woman looks like. Nevermind that both their grandmas, all their aunts, and many other females they are in contact with regularly, work, I am not.

When I pointed out that since the DEFUNCT organ was removed, I cannot have anymore kids, so I will be able to not only afford to work out of the house sooner, as the number requiring daycare will dwindle- I will have fewer painful periods, allowing me to work out of the house- I was told I was wrong! As and pay attention folks if I start working outside fo the house now, I will prove to my boys that the patriarchy is in control of my life!
Yeah, I cannot figure it out, either.

I am amazed I wasn't chided for only having boys (as has happened before, by the way.)

So, the patriarchal overplan- watch out for it, becaue apparently, it is everywhere.

Batch of cookies to anyone who can explain this one to me...seriously.