Tuesday, August 30, 2005


Ok, so maybe quandary is too strong a word for it. Dilemma, problem, inkling upset?
As many of you know, I was married and divorced in a past-pre-housewife2000 life. I like to say that My ex was a sociopath, but I am afraid that would make the other sociopaths cry and have hurt feelings. Everynow and then, various little birdies keep me updated on what he is doing and his general whereabouts in town. They just want me to be prepared if I should happen to run into him, and apparently he asks about me everytime he sees someone with info on me. The latest peice of info I have recieved confirmed something I already knew, and elaborated the hell out of it. My ex lies beautifully on his resume, he does it in such a way that it is hard ti pinpoint, and could potentially really fuck a company over. He has taken this one step further in starting a business with two other people and really screwing a bunch of people over, bigtime, potentially and allegedly. Do I say something? If so to whom? do I let it drop? He is in the security feild(both computer and physical) so I am uncertain as to the level of harm that could come to people, maybe a lot maybe nothing. But if someone uses his services, then gets screwed over or majorly injured, am I culpable because I didn't say anything when I know what he is saying is not so? I understand that a lot changes in five and a half years, but much of his claims are from when we were together, or before we were together. AAARRGGH...What to do, and how do I know that this isn't all some sort of "you made a part of my life utter hell and I want to get back at you somehow"kick???

Monday, August 29, 2005

waiting for the mail, and minor changes.

I am waiting for the mail carrier, whom is usually here an hour ago. The mail person will be bringing me information on pre-kindergarten for Bigguy so I can have some idea of what to tell him when he asks when will school be starting, and what will he be doing. But of course, when you are expecting something in the mail, it will take forever to get there.

I would like to take thin moment to announce a minor change to my blog's comments section. In order to avoid spam comments, which we have previously recieved, I have added a verification section. All this amounts to is one extra step. You will be shown some squigly, slightly obscured letters and/or numbers and have to correctly type them in order for your comment to be posted. I know this may seem unfair to you, but it is the only way I am willing to keep my comments section open for the few of you who choose to comment. Otherwise I may find myself getting rid of comments all together, because who really wants to read pointless spam.

Friday, August 26, 2005

cravings, mornig sickness, and fast growing children

Part of being pregnant, as most people know, is cravings and morning sickness. Cravings I can deal with, with this particular pregnancy they seem to be all over the board, two noticeable distinctions being carrots and dairy, especially cold milk, otherwise, something will just hit. Potato chips. Stir fry for dinner instead of spaghetti. Cookies. Onions. Pickles. Etc...etc...etc.... What sucks, however, is the morning sickness. With my first pregnancy I had very little, and mostly in thhe second trimester, with my second pregnancy I had it almost from day one, untill into the third tri, and for a while the smell of cooking meat did me in. This pregnancy, though, points out the cruellness of the term. As one person pointed out-it's called morning sickness, you can't have it at night, can you? Yes, it is called morning sickness, because that is when it generally hits, and when it is the worst. There is a semi scientific answer for this-in the morning your tummy is empty of food, your blood sugar is low, and your sense of smell(when you are pregnant) is way strong. You sit up, stomach acid moves around, you get light headed, you get nauseous, you try to eat, the smell makes you sick. I tend to get sick in the mid afternoon and evenings. I usually just feel nauseous and lightheaded, sometimes I break out in a cold sweat, and thankfully I have yet to vomit. I hope it is over soon.
While all of this is going on, and I am being ass tired(which is very common during the first tri, makes sense, really, you are groing a brand new person in you, a lot od development happens in the first tri, you are going to be tired), I notice how much my boys are growing around me. Bigguy is once again thrilled to be a big brother, and thrilled that he gets to teach littleman how to be a big brother, and he'll be the biggest brother, AND he will be starting pre-kindergarten soon(Yay my towns public school system for having a large variety of preschool/prekindergarten classes to choose from). Bigguy is speaking better every day, counting and learning and growing, not always listening, but you can look at him, and start to get an idea of what a stubborn, inteligent, obstinate, charismatic person he is growing into.
Littleman is truely amazing. He has hit the point where he is starting to try, so hard, to form words, and he finally babbles now, instead of just screamming all the time. He is also trying, so hard, to stand on his own. He can stand with minimal help, he can pull himself up, and now he wants to STAND! You can see the concentration in his little two-toothed mouth. You can see his pudgy little(okay big-the kid is gonna be really tall and solid) legs, and he gets his legs straight, his butt in the air, he start to try to take the hands off the ground, finger by finger, he'll get one whole hand off the ground, start to straighten up, and BOOM!!! come crashing down right on his bottom. Sometimes he looks frustrated, sometimes he looks so proud for having gotten that far, and I just try not to laugh.
My children are growing, almost to fast to take in. Luckilly I am here for it, and their room is almost clean...it can wait another day to finish...I can watch them play a little longer...no one needs to know

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

first comes love, then comes marriage...

Well, hubby and I will be having a third(count-em, Third!) child somewhere abouts march or april. Kinda threw us for a loop, but we always knew, after the way the boys were concieved, that it'd happen when it happened. So far the general response from family and friends seems to be joy mixed with concern. Yes, we know that Littleman isn't even a year yet, yes, we understand that it'll be more money, yes, we understand that it'll mean three kids!! Bigguy will be starting pre-kindergarten this year, and will be taking a shot at public school kindergarten the following year-The school district we are in has a very very good gifted and talanted program that starts at the kindergarten level-YAY. Hubby is looking to get a raise here in two months, maybe a promotion to boot. After the first month moving and van needing work chaos is over-our budget is not that grim looking, and then remember that we have paying roomates, living out of the way in the basement. There is really nothing to worry about other than my sanity-so far it seems to be holding. We have lots o supplies if it is a boy, and if we have a girl-yes, we will need girl clothes, I doubt that will be a problem when the only kids are boys and the entire family is itching for a girl. Well, time to eat now, small meals keep the morning sickness at bay-later

Friday, August 19, 2005

addendum to previous post re:comments

I recieved a rather large SPAM post in the comments section to my last post-until I figure out how to go about deleting it, there will be no posting of comments on THAT POST ONLY-comments are still open on the rest

Saturday, August 13, 2005


Ok women(and men) out there-I have an assignment for all of you. I want everyone to sit down and write out why they are beautiful. You don't have to post or publish it, but everyone is beautiful in some way, even if they are not happy with their current bodies. Society is suffering from a lack of beauty, we need to bring it back...I'll start

I am beautiful. I am a size 12/14, I way 175-180lbs, I am curvy. I love my curves, they are mine. I have flabby underarms, I didn't have the flab until after I became a MOTHER. I have a potbelly, because I carried children. I love my body, fat and all. It is mine. I haven't shaved in a week, my hair is greasy, I have bags under my eyes, yet my Hubby still finds me irrisistable. I have lovely legs, beautiful eyes, and I like my mouth, it sometimes smiles one one side without my knowledge. I love myself, and I am beautiful

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Settled In

We moved, on schedule, just like we were supposed to. We kept to the schedule because the cable company was supposed to be out on Friday, the 29th of july, between five and eight pm to set up our cable and internet. This did not happen. There was a SNAFU on the companies side, and our service order got changed, so we didn't have any phone, internet, or cable until the 4th of August, almost a week after we moved. Most everything in the common area'sis unpacked and s4et up, we still have some pictures to hang, and some VHS movies that need a home. We didn't realize how many VHS we had, 'cause we have been watching DVDs for so long, we will figure something out. I still need to get the boys room organized, but it is hard to do during the day, because I need to go thru the toys, geting rid o the ones that are broken, incomplete, etc...and you cannot really do that when the chillen's are awake, but I don't want to wake them up, doing it after they are asleep...I will get it figured out. Hubby and my room? Well, it is an organized mess. I vowed when we moved that I would not let it become the dangerzone that it was before, and it isn't, but I need to do A LOT of organizing and sorting. I have many, many clothes that are way to big for me anymore I have to get rid of, and some clothes that I just don't wear. Then there is Hubby's stuff. It is hard to sort thru his, HE doesn't even know what he will and won't wear, it varies by his moods. I will have it figured out though. I had all the common areas done in the time frame I laid out for myself, I will finish the private area's in the time frame I set for that project.
Once again, I am in my own home, and trying to be superwoman. This time, however, I am getting recognition for what I am doing, so it is all good.