Ihave a friend. Ok,Ihave a lot of friends, but I have one friend in particular who referred to herself for YEARS as a big girl. Recently, she started calling herself fat. Even more recently, she started calling herself fat without wincing or cringing. Anywho-FatFriend, who laughingly and happily gave me permission to call her that here, phoned me earlier to relay the following story.
FatFriend's son, SkinnyBoy is 10. That is a hard age. Cliques start to solidify, boys and girls start really noticing each other as that is the age that "The Changes" start.
SkinnyBoy is a tall, lanky, beanpole. He takes after his dad, SkinnyMan. SkinnyBoy was playing with his best friend and 10 year old love interest at recess. The other boys started teasing, as the girl is fat.
Yeah, these 10 year old boys are already calling a 10 year old girl fat. I have feelings on this that will be a whole other post, but been there, dealt with that will suffice for now.
The following day was show and tell.
Skinny boy asked for a photo of his mom. She had SkinnyDad take one and print it out.
The teacher called shortly after show and tell.
She wanted to make sure FatFriend understood what an amazing son she had.
For show and tell, SkinnyBoy proudly displayed the picture ofhis mom. He proudly announced "This is my mom. She is the smartest person I know. She is nice, kind, an excellent mom. Sheisalsothe most beautiful person I know. Prettier than (cannot recall the actress) She is fat. She is prettier because of that."
tear
happy tear
Friday, November 06, 2009
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
I am a bad, bad, not fat enough fattie!
Boggles the mind, doesn't it?
So here's the run down.
I am fat.
I just recently hit the under 200 pounds mark. After the birth of Loki is was roughly 270.
I only accepted my fatness recently. This is not to say that I did not know I was fat, as that's obvious to me, but that I have only recently become comfy with it.
I have been part of the FA and HEAS movements for a while, but honestly, it was only about half a year ago, give or take, that I decided that it was OK for me to be fat, too.
Funny, this, after trying to loos weight for a really long time, I have dropped about 20 pounds in the last six months.
BUT- and I want to say this, I am not losing weight based on any social pressure, I have been trying, for the last year, to reduce my risk for diabetes, as I am borderline prediabetic, to make me knees hurt less, and to help with the wonky blood sugar issues that come from being borderline prediabetic with a high metabolism all of a sudden, and really low bloodpressure.
I was in class on monday, drinking a diet soda, as I have a non diet soda maybe once on a month, and then it's a high end designer soda that is made in small batched in a tiny town in wisconsin. Seriously.
So, I am drinking diet soda, doing accounting examples, munching on chips, and talking to Nanny, a woman in my class, about what FA and HEAS and feminist blogs I like to read, and she likes to read.
Another girl in my class interupted this conversation to announce that I was a bad fattie. At first I thought maybe my chip eating bothered her, as food, to some people, is a moral thing.
Nope!
I am a bad fattie because I am actively trying to lose weight.
Yeah.......
Heres the thing, the weight I want to get down to, still makes me technically fat.
2 the weight I am losing is for medical reasons, and not like before the hysterectomy, Oh, if you lose weight it will get better, even though the issue has nothing to do with weight, medical reasons, honest to Maude medical reasons.
I exersice because I like the feeling of moving my body. More specifically, I walk, as I like the way my brain is when I walk, I dance, as I love to dance, and I meditate and do psuedo yoga, to help my anxiety. I am not exersicing to meet an impossible ideal.
Nanny and I are both in the size 14/26 range now, wich kind of makes us inbetweenies in fatland. The girl who interrupted is a size 6. I bring this up, only as I was chastised by a skinny girl for being a bad fattie for getting thinner.
The mind, it whirls.
Add to this conversation, Nanny and I were met with her response, after noticing our slack jawed wonder at what she had said, that the girl would not have said anything about it, but her boyfriend's brother's girlfriend's sister is fat, and part of the FA movement, and she hates being told she needs to lose weight.
Serisouly
She essentially told us that she has no problems with fatties, as a friend of a firend is fat, but that I am doing it wrong.
I really think that next monday, I may just sit down in class and eat a big cookie and a chocolate shake with extra whipped cream while taking me test just to see if she says anything, but I won't.
So here's the run down.
I am fat.
I just recently hit the under 200 pounds mark. After the birth of Loki is was roughly 270.
I only accepted my fatness recently. This is not to say that I did not know I was fat, as that's obvious to me, but that I have only recently become comfy with it.
I have been part of the FA and HEAS movements for a while, but honestly, it was only about half a year ago, give or take, that I decided that it was OK for me to be fat, too.
Funny, this, after trying to loos weight for a really long time, I have dropped about 20 pounds in the last six months.
BUT- and I want to say this, I am not losing weight based on any social pressure, I have been trying, for the last year, to reduce my risk for diabetes, as I am borderline prediabetic, to make me knees hurt less, and to help with the wonky blood sugar issues that come from being borderline prediabetic with a high metabolism all of a sudden, and really low bloodpressure.
I was in class on monday, drinking a diet soda, as I have a non diet soda maybe once on a month, and then it's a high end designer soda that is made in small batched in a tiny town in wisconsin. Seriously.
So, I am drinking diet soda, doing accounting examples, munching on chips, and talking to Nanny, a woman in my class, about what FA and HEAS and feminist blogs I like to read, and she likes to read.
Another girl in my class interupted this conversation to announce that I was a bad fattie. At first I thought maybe my chip eating bothered her, as food, to some people, is a moral thing.
Nope!
I am a bad fattie because I am actively trying to lose weight.
Yeah.......
Heres the thing, the weight I want to get down to, still makes me technically fat.
2 the weight I am losing is for medical reasons, and not like before the hysterectomy, Oh, if you lose weight it will get better, even though the issue has nothing to do with weight, medical reasons, honest to Maude medical reasons.
I exersice because I like the feeling of moving my body. More specifically, I walk, as I like the way my brain is when I walk, I dance, as I love to dance, and I meditate and do psuedo yoga, to help my anxiety. I am not exersicing to meet an impossible ideal.
Nanny and I are both in the size 14/26 range now, wich kind of makes us inbetweenies in fatland. The girl who interrupted is a size 6. I bring this up, only as I was chastised by a skinny girl for being a bad fattie for getting thinner.
The mind, it whirls.
Add to this conversation, Nanny and I were met with her response, after noticing our slack jawed wonder at what she had said, that the girl would not have said anything about it, but her boyfriend's brother's girlfriend's sister is fat, and part of the FA movement, and she hates being told she needs to lose weight.
Serisouly
She essentially told us that she has no problems with fatties, as a friend of a firend is fat, but that I am doing it wrong.
I really think that next monday, I may just sit down in class and eat a big cookie and a chocolate shake with extra whipped cream while taking me test just to see if she says anything, but I won't.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
it's really much more prevalant than you know
I saw my therapist last night. Super Doc gave me a few assignments. I need to take time for my anti-anxiety technique exersizes, I need to write a list of definite issues to work on, and I need to call any number of other SuperDocs to schedule my screening for clinical depression and discuss treatment options
I'll keep my dear readers posted.
I'll keep my dear readers posted.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Because Snuffy is HAWT
I have a head cold. I sould like snuffleupagus, you know, Big Birds best friend from Sesame Street who started out imaginary but then, one day, everyone could see him? Yeah, I sould like a less depressed version of Snuffy right now, which is totes awesome, as we all know how hott Snuffy was.
The head cold is pissing me off, as I am at this wierd place of ickyness- not so icky that I cannot function, but just icky enough that I really don't want to do anything. I cannot focus nor concentrate on any one thing for any amount of time, which is really not helping me do my homework, or keep the kids entertained. Woot.
The head cold is pissing me off, as I am at this wierd place of ickyness- not so icky that I cannot function, but just icky enough that I really don't want to do anything. I cannot focus nor concentrate on any one thing for any amount of time, which is really not helping me do my homework, or keep the kids entertained. Woot.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Posting from accounting...hehehe, I made a geeky pun
So, I am sitting in week two of Principles of Accounting I, writing in my blog. Why here, why now? Well, that is a many part answer. First, we are going over our homework questions from last week, and I already have that shit down. Second, well, I have more privacy here in class than at home. Third, it's quieter than at home.
Let me explain. Hubby, the boys and I are currently living with the in-laws again. Joy of joys. Between finances, and the property inspector letting us know that the wee tiny house is a wash, structurally, we are now bedding down with MIL and FIL. It is tighter than I would like, spacewise, and it is way more frustrating thatn I would like, spacewise, but the boys are happy and it will give Hubby and I a chance to get back on track financially. It's also easing some of my concerns about being back in school.
I am starting therapy again this weel. It's needed. my mental health is not what it should be. I just really want to be happy and healthy again, and I don't htink I am really either ofthose right now.
Basically,, just wanted to fill everyone in. Thor turns 5 tomorrow. Loki is awesome and so funny, he will tell you so, Hermes is still smart, still a smart ass. Hubby got laid off, is looking for new employ, and I started school again. Living with the in-laws, trying to not be miserable.
Let me explain. Hubby, the boys and I are currently living with the in-laws again. Joy of joys. Between finances, and the property inspector letting us know that the wee tiny house is a wash, structurally, we are now bedding down with MIL and FIL. It is tighter than I would like, spacewise, and it is way more frustrating thatn I would like, spacewise, but the boys are happy and it will give Hubby and I a chance to get back on track financially. It's also easing some of my concerns about being back in school.
I am starting therapy again this weel. It's needed. my mental health is not what it should be. I just really want to be happy and healthy again, and I don't htink I am really either ofthose right now.
Basically,, just wanted to fill everyone in. Thor turns 5 tomorrow. Loki is awesome and so funny, he will tell you so, Hermes is still smart, still a smart ass. Hubby got laid off, is looking for new employ, and I started school again. Living with the in-laws, trying to not be miserable.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
we now return you to your blahblahblah...
So, yeah, regularposting fail!
Essentially, we are all alive and well.
we are all busy
we are all crazy
and eventually, I will give this here little blog the attention it deserves.
Essentially, we are all alive and well.
we are all busy
we are all crazy
and eventually, I will give this here little blog the attention it deserves.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
once again, it's been a long time
I really am sorry for neglecting you all, dear readers. I have had a shit-ton to deal with lately, and sometimes, I appear to be the only one dealing wiht it, if that makes any sense.
In housewifeland news, The Troll Who Oives Under The Stairs moved out. He is now living wiht his girlfriend and her mom. I am pleased, as it's about time he started doing things for himself. Are they moving a little fast? yes, but I think it's gonna work out just fine for those crazy kids.
Hermes starts school back up in just over two weeks. He'll be a third grader!!
Loki is more a monkey than ever, and is really pushing the boundaries to just how much cute can keep one out of trouble
Thor. Well, henestly, he is backsliding. When the innitial diagnoses of PDD-NOS came in, almost three years ago, now, we were informed by the good doctor that things could stabalize, get better, or 'get worse', worse being Thor starting to slide towards the more 'typically autistic' end of the spectrum. That slow slide is apparently starting to happen. This is, understandably, taking a lot of my time and patience to deal with.
Hubby, well, he is Hubby.
More later, when I can take 5 minutes to organize my thoughts better.
In housewifeland news, The Troll Who Oives Under The Stairs moved out. He is now living wiht his girlfriend and her mom. I am pleased, as it's about time he started doing things for himself. Are they moving a little fast? yes, but I think it's gonna work out just fine for those crazy kids.
Hermes starts school back up in just over two weeks. He'll be a third grader!!
Loki is more a monkey than ever, and is really pushing the boundaries to just how much cute can keep one out of trouble
Thor. Well, henestly, he is backsliding. When the innitial diagnoses of PDD-NOS came in, almost three years ago, now, we were informed by the good doctor that things could stabalize, get better, or 'get worse', worse being Thor starting to slide towards the more 'typically autistic' end of the spectrum. That slow slide is apparently starting to happen. This is, understandably, taking a lot of my time and patience to deal with.
Hubby, well, he is Hubby.
More later, when I can take 5 minutes to organize my thoughts better.
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