Sunday, October 09, 2005

clutter and cleaning house

I am notoriously messy, slobby, clutterred, and not very neat. Sometimes, my house is downright dirty. I am trying, Oh Lord! am I trying. I have often felt that there are not enough hours in the day, not enough space in the world, not enough help in the house. I have two sons, a Hubby, and in the basement, a Bro-in-Law and a close friend of the family-almost brother sort of friend(he dated my step-sister once, unfortunately at the time, he was a abd boyfriend! Now, he is a good boyfriend to a non-family member, he learned from his mistakes!!) On top of this, I am babysitting/daycare providing for a good friends baby boy. They both have to work, so I am watching their precious, at this point two month old son, untill March. Why only March, one might ask? Because in the beginning of April, Baby#3 is due to be born. I will then have THREE children, plus Hubby, and roommates. We are teaching the roommates the importance cleaning up after themselves. I am not a maid. The are doing pretty well, but I am still the one doing the dishes, and the actual cleaning. I have to have a clean house. I have a birthday party in a week, I want to host Christmas, and I will be having a newborn in april!!!I NEED CLEANLINESS!!!

In the midst of all the frustration, the guilt(I should be cleaning, but I want to knit, read, watch a movie, blog..., the embarassment, the constant appologizing for the state of the house, SistahGirl springs to the rescue!! SistahGirl! The Older Sister, the unmarried, no kids, can still go out and party, go to a coffeeshop, go to a concert/club/movie/dinner without having to plan forever in advance doesn't have to worry about a babysitter, doesn't have to worry about the state of her house because if nothing else she has a single roommate she could blame it on as long as her room is clean, can actually go to someone elses house without an arsenal of toys, daipers, bottles, snacks, spare clothes for all involved(just in case), works out of the house and gets adult contact everyday, doesn't have to worry about people dropping by just to see(insert name here), saved me. (Sometimes you don't realize how many pent up emotions you have until you start typing. in my defense-I love being a stay-at-home mom. I love seeing all the milestone, knowing that I am raising my kids, not some just out of school, who knows what they are really being tought giant child care center worker. I really have no resentment, I made my own decisions, but sometimes, I miss my single days. I also know how much healthier my life and lifestyle is now, then it was in my singledays, and I am so thankful for what I have-sometimes, you just need to vent. SistahGirl-please don't take anything I said there the wrong way).
Anyways, as I was saying, SistahGirl was my salvation. She gave me the information for a kick-ass website, which I will eventually get around to furnishing the info for here, unless someone beats me too it( I want to be selfish for a few days)that really helps sort everything out-both in the actual getting the place clean way, and in the mental how your thought processes work when you need to clean-way. I feel like I have found a little bit of sanity-just enough to guide me through, and help me find which pile of laundry I left my own sanity under.
All said and done, I need to have the house clean and reaaranged in a week's time, and that'll be a little tough, but I will incorporate my daily steps each day, and most importantly, after this week is over, I will keep it clean-clean it right, and maintain. When I am in the hospital after delivery, I won't have to worry about what I am bringing Baby#3 home too, I don't have to worry about what BabyBear(the boy I am watching) Is going to be in everyday, I can stay on top of it, feel good, and work on organizing the rest of my life as well.

It is nice, when you start to see the end to the chaos, when the light starts to peek through the grime on the windows, and when you can find where you put the coffee creamer.

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