Thursday, December 29, 2005


Ben and Jerry are gods who fell to earth, and Chunky Monkey is the manna they brought forth.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

we survived!!!

Christmas is over, and we survived! All in all I don't think it went too bad, being my first year hosting. Nobody severed a limb, or set themselves on fire, and even though I burnt two fingers making breakfast, they aren't too badly burnt. I have many ideas of things I will change for next year. First and formost, I will have more seating, and I will have a more open design to my furniture, enableing people to sit more comfortably. I will make sure there is ample room at the table, and probably purchase a card table, just to be sure-aside from that-the morning portion is pretty smooth. The evening, however, will be much, much different. I will plan the meal carefully ahead of time, and it will probably end up being a meat/cheese/veggie spread unless someone other than Auntie is willing to come over and help me cook-I had offers of help, just not enough prep on my part to be able to accept said offers. Two-I will have a set time that food will be ready at, and iffen you are not here at that time, tough nookies, you get what you get.Third, and joint with the last, I will not ask anybody to bring anything unless I am fairly certain they will be here when they say they will, not two and a half hours later.
Some people might be asking themselves why I want to host again next year, with my mini-list of bitching and moaning above-Quite simply, even with all the cleaning, cooking, rearrangeing and prep-work-it will be easier than carting three kids around all day long. Kids who will get easily over stimulated and cranky, and if we are at home, can remove themselves to their room. Also, I have no desire to load the van up with what will equal 1 infant seat, 1 car seat, 1 booster seat, two parents, and presents, even more presents going home. Nope-just gonna stay home and make everyone come to me.

The boys did good. The slept most of the day on monday, and were not really themselves again until tuesday evening. Theor festivities lasted longer, and they tire more quickly. Hubby managed not to be too terribly Scroogey, and even left the computer room to eat, open presents, and some minor socialization. I think I did fairly well, but everything hit me up alongside the back of the head on tuesday morning. I woke up just long enough to figure out I felt like crap, and went back to bed. Hubby did a magnificant job of taking care of everything around the house, and not panicking too badly. Until the Dr puts a firmer percentage on my chances of popping premature, Hubby is easily panicked by any aches, pains, or tiredness he deems unnusual. Also, I am now having some truely awesome heartburn and acid reflux issues, and get to go pick up some meds for that tonight so that I can hopefully sleep in a semi reclined possition again.

For the record-the house was very clean for the holiday, I had handtowels in the bathroom, plenty of clean dishes, and it is once again clean. There are some toys about, but the get put away at night. It is not as clean as it was christmas morning, but it is still very clean-YAY US. Also YAY for the guys who pitched in a lot to clean the main floor, and ultra YAY yo Bro-in-law, who single handedly saved christmas breakfast by going on a bisuit hunt for me!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

'Twas a few nights before christmas....

'Twas a few night before christmas, whne all thruogh the house, elephants could have been marching...I ended up going to bed before ten pm last night, something unheard of for me. With the boys gone untill later today, and the shopping, and cleaning, and Hubby's abnormal snoring, I haven't been sleeping well, add to that being in the third trimester of pregnancy with a very, very, active fetus, and I was wiped. On the plus side-I finished all of our christmas shopping and wrapping last night, and seperated out the gifts that need to come with today. I only have a few minor areas to clean and vaccum, then thats done-well-that and the boysroom, but hey-if it gets done a little late-no sweat, right? I have to hit the grocery store, but Cub is open till four and I am leaving in half an hour, there cannot be too many people shopping at 9 am, Can there?

I will not be posting anything else till after christmas day has passed, and I have the boys calmed down a little more. I will be BabyBear free both Monday and tuesday, so will have plenty of time to assemble, find batteries, and what not.

Also, it appears that the mail runs today, but not on monday...Hmmmm

Thursday, December 22, 2005

cleaning, physically and mentally

I have been cleaning the house in preperation for Christmas. Really cleaning, I sppose the best wy to describe it would be spring cleaning, in the winter, minus the airing out part, eing until today, it has been below freezing out, and between small children and small animals, we need to keep the house warm. Anyways, I am cleaning, and moreover, decluttering. The boys room will be done late friday night, when they will both be gone, and it will be finished, and many things will be romoved and never missed. My room, well, it'll get done sometime after Christmas, even though I know it should be a priority, it isn't, as long as I can safely manuever, and keep my clean and dirty stuff separate, it can wait. The common areas, however, are starting to look good. It is a slow process, but that is because it is being done right. I don't want my house to just look clean, I want it to actually be CLEAN. I will be scrubbing down the bathrooms after BabyBear gets picked up, he is less than six months, and I don''t want him to have a bad reaction to any cleaning supplies, but everything else will hopefully be done before then. Boxes will be emptied, stored, or gotten rid of if I cannot find their contents a home, floors will be vacuumed, furniture will be dusted, shelves will be organized, and once done, it will be kept that way. Everyone of an age to help cleanup has been informed that it will be staying clean, under penalty of pissing off the pregnant woman who makes their meals!

What I am finding, though, is that as the house is getting clean, everything else is getting less hectic, a little more calm, and a little less troubled. As the floor is taken care of, Littleman has a place to roam, which reminds me of the need for baby gates, Bigguy has areas where he can color, or have a toy out, ONE AT A TIME!!!, and I am able to think more clearly. Hubby is less stressed whne he gets home from work, and I am less stressed because I am less worried. This all gives me time to collect myself, my thoughts, and my mind. It's starting to give me time to relax-without feeling guilty for it. I see this trend continueing, and that is good. I see Bigguy playing in his room after christmas, instead of wanting to play in the kitchen while I am trying to cook. I see Littleman walking, cause he'll have all the clutter free space he needs.

Generally, I do not make New Years resolutions, i feel that if something neds changeing, you should resolve to change it when the impact fully hits you. Even with everything I've delt with, and all the clutter I've always had around me, I resolve to keep my world within the walls of my house clean and relatively clutter free. I resolve to keep the boys home and homelife as chaos free as possible, and I resolve to not feel guilty if it takes me a few tries to get everything right. I can try to be supermom, but I am only me, and I need to remember that.

May your holidays be relatively chaos free, comfortable, and full of love.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Christmas and nudity

Bigguy is a natural nudist. Maybe it's from being born during a very hot summer, naybe it's because I never forced him to stay dressed, either way, he likes to be naked. Now that he is older we have him to a point where he keeps his underwear on almost all of the time, and generally, if we are not leaving the house, I can talk him into a pair of pants-generally through threatening his computer time, but he is in pants nonetheless. Just now I finished a conversation with him that I will be having everyday until after christmas. It is the talk wherein I remind him that even though Christmas is going to be at our house this year, he still has to get dressed. Yes, pajammies (I love how he says that!) count as clothing, and yes, he has to keep dressed the ENTIRE time that we have company. Company is anyone that does not live in our house. Yes, everyone will know that he is wearing underwear even if they do not see it. No, he does not have to announce when he poops, and yes, he does have to close the bathroom door. Yes, he even has to be dressed when he is eating, and no, I am not worried about him spilling on his clothing and staining it-we can wash it. Yes, everyone else will be wearing cl;othes, even his little brother...well, no, the new baby won't be wearing clothes, 'cause he won't be born yet, but momma will be wearing clothes. Yes, I am sure that Poppa Jazzdad will be very proud that you are wearing clean underwear, and that you don't have to show him, and Auntie Sistah-girl and Uncle Rice will both be here, and yes, they will see that you are wearing clothes.
Imagine that, multipl times, daiy, for the next five days.

Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

personal thoughts on being a dad, made less personal by posting them here

Growing up, I thought for a while that I had two dads. Sistah-girl and I are half sisters, we share a mom, but have different dads. That a pretty forign concept for a small girl to fully understand, so I was certain I had two dads. As I got older, it slowly dawned on me that neither of them were very good at being a dad. My dad was gone most of the time between my being three and eight an a half. He ran off to the navy, and I saw him twice a year, if I was lucky. During this time, he married Evil-step-mom, and made a family that very neatly excluded me, then, when he came back, tried very hard to force me to fit in, also trying to convince me that living with him and ESM would be better. In retrospect, it would have been horrid. Sistah-girls dad just, well,...he didn't to too hot either. I had uncles, and mom dated, but I never really saw what a good dad was like, up close and personal, until Jazz-dad. He is a good father to his own kids, and a very good father to me and Sista-girl, and I know I don't tell him this enough, because I don't know exactly how to tell him this in the first place...Something just feels awkward about sitting down one day and going- "Excuse me, Jazzdad? Thanks for being a good dad, and for being there for us." OK, on paper it looks easy, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet.
Hubby, I think, is a good dad. He is a little hard, sometimes, but for the most part he is good. Also, he realizes that I do not get a day off from being a mom, full time, and is doing much better at spending time with the boys so I can have some "me time". What really impresses me about Hubby is that he had no real idea of what he would be getting into, no one other than uncles to speak to about being a dad, since he never knew who is dad was. My sons have two really good grandfathers, neither of whom are related by blood. Jazzdad is wonderful, but that isn't surprising, he was and is, a good dad. Then there is Father-in-law. Hubby's step-dad, basically. He wasn't, and sometimes isn't, a very good dad, but he is a very good grandpa as well, in a different way than Jazzdad, but still good. I hope that my boys grow up one day to be good dads, but they have good rolemodels, so that should help.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Yet another installment of "Ask Housewife"

Recently some asked me "Housewife2000, How on earth do you do all your Christmas shopping while pregnant, and having two kids?"
Well, valued readers, I'll share my secrets. If at all possible, I avoid it. I will write detailed lists of what I need, and send others to do my bidding...namely Hubby. Failing that, I go on weekdays around midmorning...after work starts, but before lunchtime-around 10ish, if I can get someone to watch the boys, or I go in the middle of the night. Barring all of those options, I do what anyone else does. Shops at the last minute, while vowing not to do it again, knowing I will next year and it'll be even worse, and going home to pass out before wrapping everything and taking massive amounts of ibuprofin to get the headache brought on by thousands of screaming children to abate.

"Hey, HW2K!! How do you deal with your tree with the kids and all?"
Well, to be honest, this will be my first year with kids and a tree to worry about. Here's what we're gonna do- As much as it hurts-I will be using a fake tree-yes a FAKE TREE, needles can be poisenous, painfuk and all around dangerous to the crawling and just starting to walk set, with #3 on the way, I am gaurenteed a crawler next year as well, so we bought a tree in a box. Second-NO BREAKABLE OR HEIRLOOM ORNAMENTS-you would think this is commen sense, but many a person has made the mistake of overestimating their childs good behaviour in the past, and lost something irreplaceable. Third- pretty much all the lights, garland and ornaments will be on the upper two thirds of the tree. For pictures the presents will be possitioned in such a way as to where it isn't noticable-that or I won't give a damn-I got kids-remember!?

"Housewife,"some one else asked, "How do you keep your kids out of the presents before it's time to open them?"
Your kidding, right? I have problems keeping myself out of the gifts. You just keep an eye on 'em. just like everything else.

Well, that's about all for now-time to go and clean for the rearrangeing so that we have a home for the tree-hopefully minimal rearrangeing only

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

snotty noses

Littleman had to be brought to the doctors today. His normal doctor was out of the office, her own child is ill, so we saw one of the other pediatricians. His first response was "WOW, 27 pounds at fourteen months! He's a big'un!" Dr V-something-eastern-european-that-I-can-neither-pronounce-remember-nor-spell then let me know that it is a sinus infection. Rather a Sinus Infection, capitol letters. Apparently it is possible to have both a viral and a bacterial infection at the exact same time. Giving a 'scrip for the bacterial won't do any real good until the viral is gone, and by the time the virus is gone, the bacterial will have largely run it's course. What Dr V did impart to me was the knowledge of what over the counters to give Littleman, and in what dosages, to clear everything up. All said and done, even with the box of Kleenex, I spent less that I would've on a prescription, and get the benifits of med induced drowsiness to boot. YAY!!!

Bigguy, btw, is just fine, a little feverish, but nothing to worry about and no more snotty-nose.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

really, I have nothing at all of interest to say right now. I cannot even convince myself of it's preintabilaty. I just wanted to put something down in bloggy form right now to give me a very temporary respite from the land of whiny, crying, snotty-nosed children with colds. by the way. my usage of the term "snotty-nosed" is to be taken litterally, not figuratively- I have a house full of children, under the age of five, only on of whome speaks clearly, and that's on a good day, with snotty noses, weepy eyes, and sneezes. Yay for me!

Friday, December 09, 2005

of birthdays and food

It's my birthday! I'm gonna clean and cook and take a bath, WOOHOO!!!!
Seriously, though, I don't have any big plans for the night, but will be going out with my mom on sunday. It'll be just us two, as adults, with Jazzdad watching the boys. Sistah-girl asked me when the last time Mom and I did anything, just the two of us, no kids, and my innitial response was, "Bigguy's what, 4 years olds now?" But, that's not quite true-we used to go to our weightwatchers meetings together, and that was relatively kid free-but rarely did we actually go out and do anything. I am looking forward to that. Tomorrow, Auntie is gonna swing buy, bring me my card, and maybe we'll go shopping, once again, no boys. I saw her, child free, on wednesday, but that was to take her to the hopsital and then to get her truck, so I don't think that counts. Auntie's man was upset when he found out she hadn't gotten me my card yet, and demanded that she see me tomorrow-he's the one who was in the hospital, so he want's to make sure I have a good birthday since I helped out him and auntie. Tonight, I will probably just make dinner for me and Hubby and the boys. The only way we can go out is if Bear and Mrs Bear pay me the full amount they owe me, and that'll pro'lly not happen. Since I will more than likely be cooking, I asked Bigguy what he wanted for dinner, to get some ideas. his response is as follows
"Meatloaf, with ketchup...yep, you should by the stuff for meatloaf...been a long time since we had meat loaf...OH!! Or maybe...a GIGANTIC PIZZAAAA!!!!! yep, pizza or a ginormous should go to the Gigantic Pizza and Humongus Meatloaf Store" and by me dinner there, momma. Momma...why are you laughing so hard?"

So, if you call me, and I'm not home, I am at the really big foodstuff store, I guess.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

two days til' twenty-seven

Dec ninth will be my twenty-seventh birthday. Hubby is twenty-eight. I am pregnant with our third, and last, biological child. A friend of mine will be thirty-five in January, she and her husband, who is also a year older, like mine, are expecting their first child four or five months after Baby#3 is due. I am a young parent, just like my mom, my mother-in-law, and many other people I know. I am finding, though, that the other stay-at-home moms are older than me, and don't understand where I am coming from, but other people my age who are working are not moms, and they no longer understand me, either.

People keep asking me what I really, truly, want for my birthday. Just last night, I relized it would be nice to have some new spices for my kitchen, and maybe a free standing rack or lazy-susan for them to be displayed at. I felt odd after saying this, like somehow the wild girl from my youth and the 55 year old future me suddenly merged, and thus I am the almost 27 year old HW2K. I really want useful things, especially kitchen things. The kitchen is my haven. I keep it clean and unclutterred, and my life feels the same. It is one of the few spots in my life where I know I can teach Bigguy something, something good, and he isn't just humouring me, he is actually learning, and doesn't already know.
I love getting clothing, but being pregnant makes that slightly impractical, I can get maternity clothing, and never wear it again, or get clothing that might not fit me for who-knows-how-long after the baby arrives.

I will tell all of you, here and now, what I really, truly, want. I feel guilty for admitting it, though. I want my sons' room to be clean, without my having to do most of it, I want to sit down for a meal at a restaraunt, and get to eat all my food, while hot, without having to cut up peices for a child, I want to go anywhere, and not have to keep an eye on a very active four year old, and a very loud one year old, no matter how well behaved they are in public, I want to go some where, come back home, and find my house, completely clean, without having to lift a finger or telling other that I need help. In short, I want a fantasy world, and I feel guilty for it. Somehow I feel that not being able to be super woman, all the time, even while pregnant, diminishes my stay-at-home mom cred, and other housewives the world over are being notified of my shortcomings in their super secret mop bucket communication devices. I also know, however, that my family appreciates what I do, that I am a good mom, and as long as it is clean for Christmas, I am all good.

Oh, and since it is almost my birthday, it is almost time to get a tree and decorate. We all know that it is a crime to have a real tree up BEFORE my birthday, but after is OK.

Monday, December 05, 2005

living life in black and white, also, sundogs

Driving Hubby to work, I cross over The River--people in MN know whereof I speak-more over, I can state I cross The River on 494, and they know exactly the bridge I am on-bwahahaha--There was a very dense fog this morning, coupled with a pre-awakening dusting of snow-and the salt and sludge being thrown onto my windshield faster than I can slear it off-and the world had an oddly black and white feel to it. I am looking around as much as driving allows, gasped, and almost pulled off the road for a few moments, just to look. Then, I saw a literally breathtaking view(breathtaking events, btw, are not as pleasent as they could be if you are opperating a minivan at 65 mph) There was a beautiful pair of sundogs, in full clolor, standing out against the fog in such a way you could see the top of the circle. I have never seen anything so powerful while driving hubby to work before. It's as if Mother Nature was saying "It's okay, child, everyone makes mistakes, and everyone does right, and it all works out beautifully anyhow" For some reason, Mother Nature always sounds like The Oracle, from The Matrix, in my mind, and I find it soothing.

Do sondogs come in pairs, or is the dual sundog counted as one-you always get two, and they form a circle-any of you science types can fill me in?

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Bigguy, in all his diabolical glory

I amsitting at the computer, fretting over what is going to end up being a large checking oversight in the banks favor, when Bigguy comes into the room.
"Momma, I am thirsty"
The rule, that he knows all to well, is that he can have ONE cup of cocoa, or warm milk with honey, or chamomile tea, at bedtime. He hadn't yet had it, so I make him some caffiene free cocoa.
Cut to half an hour later, and me deciding that the error won't kill us, we will be in the hole till friday, at the max, I do not now when the check will go through, or even if it was deposited yet, andI have my banks assurance that they will homor it-because they make four more dollors by charging me an overdraft instead of an NSF-greedy bastards. But friday, I will be getting paid by Bear, which will cover everything, and by one of the basement dwelling roommates, which will cover groceries, and my going out for my birthday. Getting ready to go to bed when in comes Bigguy, again.
"Momma, I am still thirsty," setting cup on edge of my desk, and while walking out the door, "Oh, and I am hungry!"
It's the hungry part that he knows gets me, everytime. I promised myself a long, long, time ago that my children would never have to go to sleep hungry while they lived under my roof and were under age 18 or in school. Bigguy is really skinny. The combination of those two things gets him a bedtime sandwich, or popcorn, or cookie almost every time. I have finally wised up to his ruse, claver though it is, and started enforcing dinner time eating a little heavier, as he will eat just enough a dinner, so he can be hungry at bedtime. I have learned that letting him go to bed when it is his own fault he is hungry, then feeding him in the morning seems to be working.
In my defense, if we ate dinner at 5, I would give him a snack before now, nooo problem, but dinner ended up being at about eight tonight, so he get nothing!!!
time for me to go to bed now

playing my memories over the airwaves for everyone to hear

Scientists believe that out of all the senses, smell is the sence most closely linked to memory. I will argue this with them any day of the week. For me, it's hearing. Yes, smelss can bring back fond feelings, good and bad memeries, and brief glimpses of the past, but a sound, a song, a phrase brings back entire relationships, whole months and days, and sometimes an ecstatic joy or profound grief and sadness.

When I drive, I listen to the radio, and will constantly flip through the stations untill I here what I want. The kicker is, I often times don't know what I want to listen to until I hear it. Today, while driving, a song came on that reminded of an old boyfriend. He was a friend, dirst and formost, and somehow a romantic relationship came out of that, and in my youthful stupidity, or ignorance, I threw that relationship away for, well, something and someone stupid. My point, though, is that this one song by a group that we both like, brought back memories of the happiness and silliness we had, his intesity, our inside jokes, our moments alone, the pain that I caused and the sadness and anger I had towards myself afterwards. A three minute song made me relive about a year of my life.

Sometimes, music will just make me feel. Sometimes, it makes me laugh, occasionally, a song can make me cry. Movie, book and tv quotes bring back soo much, but songs, playing for everyone to hear, bring back my past, in all it's splendor and squalor, for everyone to hear.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Train asses and other funnies

Bigguy had Sistah-Girl and me laughing so hard after dinner that I was afraid we would break. The expression 4 year olds can use to describe things are priceless!