Hallowe'en, Nanowrimo, and then the other holidays

Honestly, folks, I have no idea whatsoever how much ya'll will be seeing of me over the next few months. Today is every childs favorite holiday in October-Greedy Candy Grab Day! November is Nanowrimo, which I am a participant of this year, which is kinda nuts, since I have two small children, and starting the 7th, will have BabyBear on a regular basis again. After that...The Holiday(cue scary music here.) I am starting to like Christmas more, now that I have kids to be happy for when they get what they want from Santa, but it's a hectic time. I might not blog much at all, I might be here multiple times daily. It all depends on my mood, time, and energy.
Just a heads up.
I will be blogging the Candy Report later tonight or tomorrow with weight and maybe even variety.

tomorrows Hallowe'en

Last year, Bigguy hauled home FIVE POUNDS of candy, that was way too much, when we moved, at the end of July, we found some we had hidden...eeewwww....

Penis and vaginas

It is quiet so far this morning. Baby Bear is in a restful slumber, dreaming of pleasant baby things. Littleman is practicing his jumping skills and gleefully babbleing to himself in a language that almost sounds like american english, if only he would open his mouth, and us constanants other than n, g, m, and d. Bigguy is sleeping. Normally we would wake him up by now, but he has had a very big last few days.
After much confusion on his part about anatomy, on monday, he and I sat down and discussed the simple fact that boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina. If you ask any doctor, teacher, or child behaviorist or psychologist, they will all inform you that it is very age appropriate for four year old chidren to know the proper names for parts of the anatomy, and since I am pregnant, it makes things less confusing for him...supossedly. This started when he asked if the baby would come out of my butt.
"No, Bigguy, the baby will not come out mommy's butt."
"Then where? you said not your belly button and not your butt, will the baby come out your penis?"
"No, Mommy doesn't have a penis, she has a vagina. Boys, like you and poppa and Littleman and your grandpas all have a penis, and girls, like momma and Auntie and your grandmas all have a vagina."
"Well, if you don't have a penis, how do you pee?"
I tried my best to explain how a vagina was like a penis, in that it was what girls used to pee, but it backfired. Later that night, while helping his poppa with the laundry, I get called downstairs to find Bugguy laughing insanely, and Hubby giggling, but perplexed.
"What have you been teaching him!"
"What you do mean"
"He just told me that vagina was a girls name!"
"Bigguy, what did you tell Poppa?"
Bigguy turns slightly red, not from embarresment, but from trying not to laugh, he screws up his features into his little frowny-I-am-trying-to-think-and-speak-face, and looking me square in they eyes, screams...
"VAGINA!!!!" and then falls over laughing.

We eventually get worked out that he was trying to tell Hubby that "vagina is the girls name for a girls penis" so obviously, we need a little more work.
My biggest concern about all this, however, is that he is not shy. He likes to exclaim many wonderful things about his penis, and for the longest time, would ask any random passerby in public if they, too, had a penis. Apparently, a penis is a wonderful thing to have, and if you don't possess one, you are missing out. I do not need him asking every woman he sees at the grocery store if they have a vagina. Granted, I would rather have him saying penis and vagina, as opposed to peepee and hoohoo( I kid you not, I have heard people teach these to their children), I would just rather it not be used quite so liberally.
Well, we managed to teach him that holiday dinners are not the time nor place to say "Goddamnit" and "Fuck". We managed to convine him that it really is important to keep your clothes on in restaraunts, and, well, in general while you are awake. Maybe, with time, we can teach him that not everyone likes being asked if they posess a penis or a vagina, and not everyone in the public bathroom likes to here how big his penis is.
He is very proud of his penis.
No self esteem issues there.
No sirree bob!

Hubby's home sick

Hubby's sick, Bigguy is cranky and Littleman is trying to give up one of his naps, unsuccessfully.
Of course, Bigguy wouldn't be cranky if we didn't wake him up at 8:30 this morning, but that's what he gets for staying up untill 2:30 the previous night.
We have no idea why Littleman feels the urge to cut down on naps at the delicate age of 1, but I will do my darndest to keep him on a schedule, if he wants to back down to one, longer, nap in the middle of the day, fine, but he WILL nap. Bigguy gave up napping altogether, with the exception of special occasions, at 18 months, and not his messed up sleep schedule.
I am wide awake, but tires at he same time, I showered this morning, so my body is relaxed and kind of sleepy, but my brain is awake. I think cleaning and going about my normal routine will help wake up the body better than sitting here typing.

I woke up, had a glass of milk, played on the computer, then made brunch...

After having a kind of jagged last few days, I am amazed at how "normal" today seems. I woke up this morning, and had a 12 ounce glass of 2% milk, just like Dr A's nurse said I should. Then I sat for half an hour to let my body process it, and played on the computer. I made brunch, fed the boys, talked with Hubby...Laughed with Hubby, and have been feeling nicely put together all morning. I have plans to clean my kitchen counters and floor today, alrgely because I finally have good floor cleaner, and a bucket big enough for my mop. I am going to do some laundry, and try to vacuum, but if everything doesn't get done, it's no problem. I think I might bake some bread, because bread is one of the least demanding, yet most rewarding things you can bake. Being as I don't have any bread pans yet, I am either going to have to make a bagette stule loaf, or a "rustic" round loaf, but it will be good.

I have come to the rather odd conclusion that freshly made, homemade, bread is theraputic. First, you mix together very basic ingredient. You lightly knead it, then you place it in a bowl, cover it up, and put it someplace warm for a while. After your dough has sat, you remove it from it's bowl, and BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF IT!!! This is very good at releaving pent up stress and agression, not to mention good for building up your arms. Then you shape it and let it sit again. After a while longer, it goes in the oven to bake. This is when the house fills with the glorious yeasty smell you get from bread. Ever since I was a little tiny girl, that smell has made me feel safe and protected. Then, once it is done, you break off a slab and slather it with butter and it is sooo good. For a special treat add a little honey.

I also noticed that Littlemn took his early nap today, something he didn't do yeaterday...I shedule my life very heavilly around my childrens schedules, and when they are off, I am off. I deffinately think I need to rethink our daily routine.

Funky Blogger

Blogger has been acting up over the last twenty-four hours. It is not listing all the comments, nor was I under the impression that either of the "good news?" posts had published. I am leaving tham both up, however, so that you can see the difference between how I followwed a train of thought before and after I ate. Spelling aside, one of them is much more concise and to the point. Classic sign of blood sugar issues.

Also, I would like to welcome my new readers! Thanks for your support!

good news?

I called my nurse at Dr A's office. She said that everything I've been dealing with sounds like fluctuations in blood sugar levels, and I shouldn't worry too much. I need to keep track of what I eat, make sure I always have milk and juice in the house, and if I start to feel odd or shaky, eat a little something. She also said that some of it may be hormolan, the pregnancy hormones seem to affect women more if their current pregnancy started less than a year after their last pregnancy ended. Since Littleman just recently turned 1, and I am roughly 3 and 1/2 months pregnant, I am in that group.

The only thing that worries me about fluctuating blood sugar, is that I am in a very, very high risk group for type 2 adult onset diabetes, and for gestational diabetes. I really have to take care of myself, and sometimes, in taking care of everyone else, I forget that.

I am just fine, I am not losing it...yet

good news?

so...after feeling out of sorts for a while, and not liking it, I made some calls, and charted some things, and it seems like blood sugar levels may be the culprit. In another month or so we will be doing the 1 hour blood glucose check, and if need be, the three hour. What worries me about this, is diabetes runs in the family, I am in a high risk catagory for diabetes, and I am in a very high risk group for gestational diabetes. When I was pregnant with Littleman, they got some funky readings, but not severe enough to classify. In the meantime, I am going to try to keep myself balanced out, food and drink wise, and see if that helps, and if I keep having wierd mood changes, we will run the tests sooner.
They said, btw, that hormones could be playing part of it, especially with this pregnancy being less than a year after littleman was born, and thet I shouldn't be overly concerned with my mental health...everything I have been going through, including the things I haven't stated here, can be caused by fluctuations in blood sugar, and i should try to maintain a schedule with eating and sleeping.

My children are sleeping, or at least doing a reasonable facsimile thereof, and I should be relaxing, but I cannot. I have this niggling feeling that I desperately needed to do something today, and it din't get done. I have wracked my mind, and connot think of anything that I didn't do that couldn't wait. To try to ease the feeling, I work on the dishes, but that isn't it, so I move to wipe down the ccounters, but that isn't it. Laundry? Why would I need to do laundry on a saturday night, when we don't have any plans for sunday, and even if we did we have clean clothes? Maybe I'm supposed to be knitting? No, the only project in the future that has a deadline is still a little ways off, and I don't even have the yarn for it yet...I know that's not it. The rational part of me knows that absolutely nothing needs to be done right now but still I cannot let go of the feeling.

This coupled with the uncontrollabe crying jags has me concerned.

unexplained, uncontrolable sobbing

When I was pregnant with each of my two sons, I would often find myself crying. Generally there was a reason, even if it was only a TV commercial, and when you're pregnant a commercial is reason enough to cry. Very rarely would I cry without a discernable reason, and when this happenned, a few deep, calming, breaths would equal no more tears. Lately I have found myself crying alot, often when I am alone or can be percieved as being alone(the boys are sleeping/upstairs while I am downstairs, or I am in the bath or in my room, by myself.) There does not seem to be any rhyme or reason to this. I can be reading, watching TV, cleaning, folding laundry, trying to sleep, or doing nothing at all. If I am thinking about something sad or upsetting, I can explain it. If I am reading something sad, upsetting, heartwarming, endearing, sweet, whatever... I can deal with it. This is just...I start crying. I realize I am crying. I try to stop. It gets worse. I take deep breaths, with each exhale, I go from crying to sobbing. I realize there is no reason for me to be carrying on like this, and it gets even worse. If someone comes into the room, I can generally stop then, and if not, they chalk it up to me being preggers. If I start crying while someone is in the room, it stops itself before I even really notice. I am rather upset about this, I don't understand really, and I am strongly thinking about talking to my doctor about it. I am afraid that he will tell me it is just hormones, while simultaniously hoping he tells me it's just my hormones. As much as I hate the hormone excuse, it is somewhat valid, and it means that there isn't anything wrong with me. I am afraid, at the same time, that there will be something wrong with me. I have children and a husband to take care of. I need to be strong for them, they need to see that I can handle anything that life throws at me. Otherwise I will be shelterred. No one wants to upset the pregnant woman, no one wants to hurt the feelings of the pregnant woman, no one wants to be the cause of the pregnant woman over extending/over exerting herself. If I am not strong for my family, they will crumble. The boys rely on me to be Mommy. Mommy is damn near to God as far as they are concerned. Hubby works damn hard so that I can stay home with the boys, raising them, and seeing that we have everything that we need. I can talk to him about things that are upsetting me, but he is a "fixer". If something is wrong, he wants to fix it, to make it all better, to be Prince Valliant, the Hero. I don't know what's wrong, I don't know how to fix it, I do not even know if anything needs to be fixed in the first place.

I slept in this morning. I didn't get my hour to myself. I feel out of sorts because of it. Maybe this is contributing. I do not know, but, please, do not let this be a sign of things to come.

But, *mommmm*,sigh, huff, I'm only four!

Sometimes your children are so smart, you forget how old they really are. Sometimes they do something to remind you. If all else fails, an huffy, sighing, whining, "But, mooommmmm, I'm only four slams it right home.
Sometimes I wished it still worked...but,"huff sigh..."annoying booosss, I know you want hubby to work late tomorrow, and come in on saturday, again, but he's only twenty-eight!" - just doesn't have the same ring

Help! The Aleins That Have Invaded My Life Are Demanding To Be Fed!!!

Things we really need to tell woman about pregnancy and motherhood, but rarely do, part 1.

My auntie is fond of saying about children, "That's right, you have to feed them, don't you."
This is probably the fist thing we need to make more women clear on. All people understand that you need to feed a baby and children, that's just the way it is. Not all women understand before the fact just how often babies eat. Newborns can eat as often as every two hours. Two hours is timed, by the way, from the beginning of the feeding. If it takes your baby 30 minutes to eat, you are looking at up to SIX hours of baby feeding a day. You will have 1 hour and 30 minutes in between feedings to change daipers, get dressed, make dinners, clean houses, and, maybe, if you are really, really lucky, you might get to shower.

Yes, babies will eventually go longer without being fed, and they will even sleep for a couple hours at a stretch, but then you have to feed YOURSELF! If you breastfeed, your babies dietary needs are being met solely off of how well you eat, your milk supply is based off of how much and often your baby eats, how much water you drink, and how well you eat. You CANNOT eat healthy enough, it doesn't matter what the doctors and lactational cunsultants will tell you. EAT FAT-you need it, EAT FRUIT-it has water.

As your baby grows, it will undergrow occassional "growth spurts", short periods of time in which your child will rapidly grow, somehow, even if it is just their feet. Growth spurts are another name for "Your Baby Is Going To Eat More Than You Thought Was Humanly Possible For A Child It's Size, spurts", the older they are, the more they will eat, and the more you will have to spend on clothes to keep them from being naked(unless you kid is like Bigguy, then you will spend it all on shoes, he grows feet first) Grouth spurt, they happen straight through to adulthood by the way. In fact, the coincidentally stop right about the time that you can make them pay their own way...hmmmm....

I have found that very little will rival the hunger of the Four Year Old Boy. I have witnissed teenagers, active in sports teenagers, watch him eat when he gets the mood to, and wonder where he puts it. There will be days where he really doesn't eat that much, I think my 1 year old boy pro'lly eats more. Then comes the "Momma I'n HUNGRY!!!" whine. This means that he will eat, darn near a full meal, every ninety minutes, while he is awake. Sometimes, I think he sneaks into the fridge, when everyone, including himself, are asleep, and even eats then.

Now, for the Pregnant mommy or mommy-to-be! I haven't forgotten you. This is the point where you first become aware of the alien presense. Extra-terrestrial lifeforms are the only reason you could be eating this much, and craving such odd combinations of food. The doctors will try to tell you that it is your bodies way of getting what it needs, nutritionally, but I don't by it. Donuts(chocolate glazed), cheesy eggs, and orange juice may be a decent breakfast, and may have protiens, calsium, carbs, and fats that you needd when pregnant. I do not argue that. What I argue is that any earthling woman will vuluntarily eat the cheesy eggs like a sandwich with the chocolate donut, and wash it all down with the O.J. Yet we do. The cheesay T.V and movie stereotype of pickles and icecream have to come from somewhere. From Personal experience-Pinnaples and dill pickle potato chips should not be eaten AT THE SAME TIME, yet I did, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Aliens, I tell ya, aliens.

an hour early

Lately I've been waking up at least an hour earlier than everyone else. This is largely because of watching baby-bear, but it has certain other benefits. In my quiet, yes, quiet hour in the morning, I can take care of last night's dishes, wipe down the counter, and get a pot of coffee going. I can sit down and eat an uninterupted bowl of cereal(iron fortified, good for momma and for Baby#3!)
I can gather my thoughts while eating said cereal, and while drinking my hot, tasty, beverage, I can plan dinner if I hadn't already. Most of all, I can be alone with my tummy. I am constantly on the move, even when I am sprawled out on the couch, my muscles are poised for action. Moms do not get to sit! Moms do not get to relax! Moms work is never done! (At least while little chidren are awake) So, when I am the only one up, and my work is begun, i can take some time, after I eat, to focus on the life growing inside of me. I can just start to feel Baby#3 as it moves in it's constant bath. I can marvel that at this point, my baby has fingers and toes, eyelids, nostrils, and all the other parts a baby has. At this point, the baby looks very much like a miniaturized person, who has been stewing in body temperature water for the past coupla months. I imagine what sort of personality it will have, based solely on theese early, private, nobody but me can feel them, moments. I try and determine if the baby is more active when I eat foods that are savory, or sweet, spicy, or mild, carbs or protiens. I see if, somehow, I can sense it's gender, if the baby has a girl vibe, or a boy vibe, so that I can tell myself I knew before the doctors and ultrasound technicians. Sometimes, I talk to the baby, sometimes I talk to my grandma, who passed away over ten years ago, sometimes I wonder if grandmas can talk to babies before they are born. I like that thought.

One hour earlier. Only 60 minutes.

It could be a lifetime of tranquility before the rest of the world wakes up to hurry me on my way.

the importance of gender in babies

People ask me if I want a boy or a girl. Sometimes it's a complete stranger at the grocery store, assuming I am pregnant, and not just oddly fat. My normal response to non-family is to pause, smile lovingly at my children, both boys, and say that I don't care what we have, as long as baby is healthy, and happy, and preferably has all requisite parts. Sometimes, I believe it myself.
I have people tell me how, financially it makes more sense to have another boy, hand me downs, you know. Excuse me? I have two boys already, born in different months and growing at two completely unrelated speeds. I haven't been able to use any hand me downs yet. On top of that, one day, they will be teenagers. Teens wear through their clothing quickly. Teens also eat... a lot...food costs money.
I have the people tell me how nice it would be after two sons, to have a daughter. I can see that, They rarely elaborate. I can understand. Secretly, I really, really, want a daughter. Hubby has wanted a daughter from the start. It;s the whole "mamma's boy & daddy;s girl" thing. Bigguy has always favored me, and I know that hurts Hubby. Honestly we will be happy with a boy or a girl, we will love the child regardless, and cherish the child regardless.
But, still, I want a girl.
As frustrating as all this is, it's the people who tell me I need to have a girl. Like somehow, I, a female, have some choice in gender selection, especially after conception. They somehow seem to think that the gender of my baby is somehow going to upset the delicte balance of the world, if I have a boy. A third baby boy will be responsible for the complete undoing as civilization as we know it, but a girl...NO PROBLEM!!! She will bring sweetness and light, she will be gentle, she will not scream all night.
You know what? A baby is a baby. Until a certain age, there is really no differense between a boy baby and a girl baby with the exception of the following-how you dress them, and the dangly bits. That's all. A girl child will not be any more or less prone to anything than a boy child is. Well, that's not quite true, colorblindness favors men, as do hemophilia. A woman will not get prostrate cancer or suffer from erectile dysfunction, but you understand my meaning.
What difference does it matter what I have, as long as we, as a family, love the baby.
And ya know what? we already do.

weird pregnancy dreams, and revalations

During the 9 months of pregnancy, women will have a multitude of very strange dreams. Many of these dreams, for some reason, seam unsettlingly realistic at the time. There are many supposed pshychological reasons behind the different types of pregnancy dream. Insecurity about the changing body can cause dreams of past loves and lovers, insecurity about being a mom can cause very negative dreams, especially dreams where you forget the baby. Being certain you will be a good mom can cause dreams of having hyper inteligent babies, who hardly need you for anything, but credit you with everything. Then, well, there are the dreams which defy explanation. While pregnant with Bigguy, I had a dream that I gave birth to a baby carrot, and no one, including the doctors, thought this was in any way wrong. We were all relatively OK with the carrot, untill Christmas dinner and the veggie tray, anytime we would here a *crunch* we would all look around frantically to make sure no one was eating the baby. I have yet to meet anyone who can explain that one.
Last night, however, I had a dream that made me sad to wake up. Everything was the same as it is now, but Sept 11 had never happened. The "War on Terror" had never occured. Gas prices were low, there were no terrorist threats, numerous friends were not shipped out, so were active in my, my husbands, and my childrens life. It made me realise what life was like when Bigguy was born, as opposed to what life is like now. Bigguy was born a few months pre 9/11/01. We did not fear for family and freinds whenever we heard of a bombing in a forign country. We did not regret every family function we could not attend for Hubby's family, knowing that it might be the last time we see some cousins. Bro-in-law was going to join the military after highschool, we thank god now that he was outed for medical reasons. People I have known for years, years, that I never had any doubt Hubby or my kids would meet, are currently in Iraq, Afghanistan, and various other locals. Most of them were supposed to be home two or three years ago, but are still gone. Sadness to wake up and realize that that was a dream, and this is reality.

clarification

I was going to go back and edit an older post, but I will just explain it here. There has been some slight confusion by multiple parties as to my son's birthdays. To clarify, without giving the exact d.o.b.'s(I would like to keep that private, thank you!) Bigguy - June, **, 2001 Littleman - October, **, 2004 unspecified-gender-as-of-yet Baby#3 estimated due date April, **, 2006. When Baby#3 is born, I will have 3 chidlren, ages four and under. They are not all born in the same year. My original dates were unclear.

Littleman, not so little.

Littleman had his 1 year check-up today. He had 4 shots, plus a finger prick-ouch!and, one of the shots was the flu shot, so it's gonna be sticky around the house for the next two days-come his party-he'll be feelin fine. What shocked me was how big he was. At birth he was just shy of 7 lbs, just over 19 inches, and had an almost 14inch head. Now, he weighs 25lbs 2 oz (upper 75th percentile) is 33 inches long(over the upper 95th persentile(also 3 inches shy of 3 feet)) and has a 19 1/4 inch head (once again, over the 95th perscentile) Loosely translated, theese numbers mean that my youngest son, at just barely shy of 1 year, is the same size as a relatively healthy 18month old, or a small 2 year old.
Conversely, Bigguy, at 4, is big for a three year old, but a little small for a four year old. Hmmm....maybe I need to come up with new names for them.

bedtime rebellion

I am supposed to be going to bed now, but I cannot for two reasons. Bigguy is still awake, and I am wondering why biggiuy is still awake. I do not need to stay up with him-it's Hubby's night to do that, as I have BabyBear being dropped off at 7:30 tomorrow AM(his mom has to work, his dad has phys therapy early) and need to be up early, especially if I want breakfast pre 10AM(which Dr A says is necessary to keep my blood sugars level thruoghout the day-supposedly lessoning my chances of gestational diabetes.)
It dawned on me, about the time I started this post that the reason Bigguy is still awake is because he is my child. Hubby is fairly nocturnal, when given the chance, but would always go to sleep when told. Me-i fight it when told, but the rest of the time, can fall asleep at the drop of...well... anything. Hubby sometimes jokes that I am partially narcoleptic. Get me in any reasonably comfy possition, I'm out, unless you tell me you want me to sleep. I think I just need to start putting Bigguy in his room at the same time every night, but not tell him it's bedtime, not act like it's bedtime, just tell him not to wake up his brother. Kid'll probably be out cold in thirty minutes everynight. I think I have a new experiment for next week.(I always start new sleep routines with the boys on a monday, so that it is fairly sunk in come the weekend)
Wish me luck, and please don't tell me it's bedtime!

Changed some things, misplaced some others

Well, as you can see, I changed the face of my blog some. Wanted something cleaner looking, easier on the eyes, and more my current style. Unfortunately, when I did this, I lost my links and google ads. I can put them back after I do two things a)remember how to format the code to add my links where I want them in my side bar area space, and b) remeber what my password was for google ads. Of course, I could probably e-mail Google ads, and they would help me out, and I could get help with the links as well, just not right now.
I hope you enjoy the new look, and the new posts. You might notice the posts taking on a different angle, tone, or who knows what, but as you start to put your house in order-even if it is slow going-your brain gets put back in order, and everything in your life takes on a slightly differrent hue. Less frenzied, less harried, less stressed.

clutter and cleaning house

I am notoriously messy, slobby, clutterred, and not very neat. Sometimes, my house is downright dirty. I am trying, Oh Lord! am I trying. I have often felt that there are not enough hours in the day, not enough space in the world, not enough help in the house. I have two sons, a Hubby, and in the basement, a Bro-in-Law and a close friend of the family-almost brother sort of friend(he dated my step-sister once, unfortunately at the time, he was a abd boyfriend! Now, he is a good boyfriend to a non-family member, he learned from his mistakes!!) On top of this, I am babysitting/daycare providing for a good friends baby boy. They both have to work, so I am watching their precious, at this point two month old son, untill March. Why only March, one might ask? Because in the beginning of April, Baby#3 is due to be born. I will then have THREE children, plus Hubby, and roommates. We are teaching the roommates the importance cleaning up after themselves. I am not a maid. The are doing pretty well, but I am still the one doing the dishes, and the actual cleaning. I have to have a clean house. I have a birthday party in a week, I want to host Christmas, and I will be having a newborn in april!!!I NEED CLEANLINESS!!!

In the midst of all the frustration, the guilt(I should be cleaning, but I want to knit, read, watch a movie, blog..., the embarassment, the constant appologizing for the state of the house, SistahGirl springs to the rescue!! SistahGirl! The Older Sister, the unmarried, no kids, can still go out and party, go to a coffeeshop, go to a concert/club/movie/dinner without having to plan forever in advance doesn't have to worry about a babysitter, doesn't have to worry about the state of her house because if nothing else she has a single roommate she could blame it on as long as her room is clean, can actually go to someone elses house without an arsenal of toys, daipers, bottles, snacks, spare clothes for all involved(just in case), works out of the house and gets adult contact everyday, doesn't have to worry about people dropping by just to see(insert name here), saved me. (Sometimes you don't realize how many pent up emotions you have until you start typing. in my defense-I love being a stay-at-home mom. I love seeing all the milestone, knowing that I am raising my kids, not some just out of school, who knows what they are really being tought giant child care center worker. I really have no resentment, I made my own decisions, but sometimes, I miss my single days. I also know how much healthier my life and lifestyle is now, then it was in my singledays, and I am so thankful for what I have-sometimes, you just need to vent. SistahGirl-please don't take anything I said there the wrong way).
Anyways, as I was saying, SistahGirl was my salvation. She gave me the information for a kick-ass website, which I will eventually get around to furnishing the info for here, unless someone beats me too it( I want to be selfish for a few days)that really helps sort everything out-both in the actual getting the place clean way, and in the mental how your thought processes work when you need to clean-way. I feel like I have found a little bit of sanity-just enough to guide me through, and help me find which pile of laundry I left my own sanity under.
All said and done, I need to have the house clean and reaaranged in a week's time, and that'll be a little tough, but I will incorporate my daily steps each day, and most importantly, after this week is over, I will keep it clean-clean it right, and maintain. When I am in the hospital after delivery, I won't have to worry about what I am bringing Baby#3 home too, I don't have to worry about what BabyBear(the boy I am watching) Is going to be in everyday, I can stay on top of it, feel good, and work on organizing the rest of my life as well.

It is nice, when you start to see the end to the chaos, when the light starts to peek through the grime on the windows, and when you can find where you put the coffee creamer.

so, anyways

SistahGirl has a blog. Once I remeber how to add links to my sidebar, I will be adding her, and others. Also, I will be fixing the now defunct link for Waiterrant. Thank you.

I saw Dr A today!

I am having a text bok pregnancy, according to the amazing Dr A. Everything is how it's supposed to be in the illusive "average" pregnancy. My next appointment is in three weeks, they will be drawing lots o' blood to run lots o' tests. We will also be deciding when to schedule the next "official" ultra sound. However, Dr A has a nifty 1980's era ultrasound machine-grainy picture, no zoom, no measurements, no pics. What it will do is let us see the baby, and maybe, just maybe determine gender. We will be finding out the sex of Baby#3-it's just easier if we do, easier to prepare the boys, easier to have clothing ready, easier for people to buy us things, and that 1980 US machine might just be what tells us.

SistahGirl had fun with Bigguy, Bigguy had fun with SistahGirl, Bigguy is telling me, now, at his bedtime, that SistahGirl let him play with her Gameboy at bedtime, and we should get him a gameboy for to play with because he wants on and then he wouldn't havetogotobedbecauseheisnottiredandhedoesn'twanttosleepandhewantsauntiesgameboyandandandandand.....
I think he just crashed.

I am freakin' AWESOME!!!

I, the housewife2ooo, just singlehandedly changed Littleman's crib bedding, matress pad nd all. What is so freakin' awesome about that, you might ask, people change crib beddings all the time by themselves. Yes, they do, but does everyone do it with the baby still IN the crib??? I didn't want to set him down, as he can crawl faster than I can walk, and I try not to run in the house, so I put him in the far left side of the crib, changed the right side, switched him to the far right side, then changed the left side. Littleman is now sitting in the crib, looking at, and feeling, the different sheet with an expression, and sounds, of complete wonder. I am magic, as far as he is concerned. I change daipers, make food, give toys, cuddle, and ghange the crib. I am supermom!!!!!

two totally unrelated items

Auntie Sistah Girl has Bigguy for the night. she starts a new job soon, and wanted to spend some time with him beforehand. He is so happy. Normally, his first night spending the night somewhere new, he calls me a couple times, since I only heard from him when I called, I know he is having a good time, and hopefully behaving. I am glad that they are spending this time together. I have a pretty close relationship with my auntie, and I have a pretty close relationship with my sister(though it hasn't always been as great as it is now, but were sisters, what do you expect?) I want my kids to be close to family members outside of the immediate household. As they grow older, it will give them a good friend, and a trusted adult. If I ever needed to talk about something when I was younger, I could go to auntie if I didn't want to go to Mom. If I was grounded, but really needed to get out, once again, Auntie was there. I am not saying that this was always good, nor did I always go to her-when I was really fucking up with my life, I dodn't want to go to family at all, partly due to shame, partly fear, partly stupidity, but for the most part, I think it would have been much worse if not for my relationship with her. I wonder how much of what we talked about ever got back to mom? But anyways, I am glad Bigguy is having a good time, and not only does he get to see auntie Sistah Girl, he gets to see Uncle Rice-Man, so that's cool TIMES TEN!!!!!

Second-Suspenders-I really really want a pair of suspenders. I am entering my second tri-I cannot comfortably wear belts anymore, unless it's below the belly, and that looks kinda silly with certain pants. On top of that, not all maternity pants have belt loops or drawstrings, so I can have comfy and long-enough, but falling down, or tight enought at the waist, but too short. Suspenders would solve all that. If I am planning on wearing a shirt that wouldn't tuck in or down well? I would wear a tank under my shirt so the suspenders would rest on that, not my skin. I WANT SUSPENDERS!!! Anyone know where I can find a decent pair of adjustable suspenders??
I wonder what this is going to do to my google ads?