Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I hurt

PCOS-Poly-Cystic-Ovary-Syndrome(or disorder,depending on region) The most cruel and unusual punishment the female body can dish out. Irregular, and I mean highly irregular, menstrual cycles, severe cramping and heavy flow when you do cycle, headaches when you don't, it negatively affects ones fertility, when the cramping hits, some women have had to be hospitalized to deal with the pain. Then today, when speaking with a triage nurse, to try and keep me out of the E.R. for pain reasons, the subject of how lucky I am to have my boys came up. Statistically, it shouldn't have happened, but it did. Nurse then informs me of something the doctors and specialists never did, she even gave me the documentation to back it up, the symptoms and side affects of PCOS get WORSE after every child. She speculated that the birth of my first son escalated the issues enough for me to actually see a Doctor, and the birth of the second made it that much worse. The real kicker here, is that there is a slim chance that Hubby and I will ever be able to convieve again, EVER, and if we do manage to concieve again, my symptoms will be excrutiating afterwards. I am only 26, I might want more children(okay, 1 more child) someday, but not if it comes at the expense of a lifetime of pain every few months(okay, not a lifetime either) Right now I hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally. Maybe I will be able to think more clearly about this when the physical pain lessens.

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