Saturday, May 07, 2005

Bewarned-rant about mother in law ahead

First-note the new links-8-bit theater is a web strip-very funny if you're into rpg's or remember 8-bit video games, then ther'e Waiterrant. I highly recomend you check him out, funny, honest, pissed off. If you've ver worked the wait side of kitchen staff, you'll appreciate him.

Now, time for something completely different-a Mother-in-law rant-haven't had a good one of these, at least not for a while. As I've stated before, she is the Queen High Mum of passive-aggressiveness, she also feels that her way is the only right way. As you all know, Hubby, myself, and coolest sister are looking to buy a house. We are thinking that we might rent for a year first, to give Hubby more time on thejob, to give coolest sister more time on her job, and to give us a better idea of what our housing needs will be. There will be three adults and two kids, not to mention pets, in one space. M.I.L. is totally against this, she feels that it would be a waste of money, time, etc. First-what business is it of hers, she won;t be living with us, nor will she be contributing financially. Second-yes, we will not be owning where we are renting, but by waiting we will be able to afford a better/bigger/more suited to us house-we will have better established credit, which will lower interest rates for us than with our current lack of sufficient/no credit. And Most importantly-we will know our new family dynamic. The boys willbe living with their aunt, Hubby and I will be living with a sister, Sister will be living with a family unit that is seperate from her, while still being a unit with her. We might not need as much space as we think to peacefully cohabitate, but maybe we will need more. By renting for a year first, we will know, and if the unlikely possibilaty faces that we cannot peacefully cohabitate-we will know before we buy, and can adjust our plans accordingly.
I just get very upset with M.I.L that she feels it is her place to tell us what we should de with our lives. I f she took half as much interest in hubby when he was younger, he prolly would be a lot better off in life. She sacrificed his education for a refferal bonus at work, she never gave him any support, and helped him to accrue rediculous amounts of personal debt from her, that we had to work hard at paying off. Yes, we live with her and the father in law-but we pay rent to live here-more than enough-I do damn near all the cleaning, and we are autonomous of them. We are not living off of them, we are living with them, and pulling more than our fair share-it is not her concern how I raise/educate/discipline my kids if they are healthy and happy. It is not her deal whether we rent or own. I think she is just pissed that if we rent with my sister, we won;t be lining here, and they will lose money and free labor.
If we were going to be renting some little whole in the wall barely fit for humans-that would be one thing-but we won't. If we were going to be so far away that she would never see us, sho might have a complaint, but we wont. If she EVER owned property of her own, rented on her own, or for that matter ever livved on her own, that would be one thing. However, she is in her mid forties and never done that. She lived with her parent untill she got with the F.I.L she lived under their roof-not really contributing, and raising her two boys untill hubbby was about11 or twelve and the bro in law was about 3 or four. She never had to deal with supporting ones children-she always had people willing to pick up the slack. She has never rented, so doesn't know that it's not all bad. And frankly she has never owned property, this house is in the F.I.L's name only, even though it was bought after they were together, and she hads lived with him the entire time. Her concept of doing what is best for her children is to strong arm them into doing what she wants, not what will be best for them-because if she thinks it right it must be, and that's that. My sister's lease will be up soon. We are probably going to have a place before than. I will be out of this house soon enough. It's only's only's only...

1 comment:

MNObserver said...

Owning your own house with family members you choose is a wise goal. Go for it. Keep in mind that your children will have places that they love: a corner in the basement where all their favorite tiny toys are, a special clearing under a tree in the back, or a secret fort under a bush in the side yard. The security and stability will make all of you happier. Besides, you can be a cool mom and say "yes" when one of them asks to paint his ceiling black and put glow-in-the-dark stars all over it.

I hope you find the place of your dreams.