soo tired.

There are manythings they tell you when you have children, try and sleep when they do, get rest, try not to get too frustrated, enjoy the good times. They do tell you that you will be tired, but they don't tell you that sometimes you will be soo tired that if you stop moving for more that four seconds you'll fall asleep standing up. When you have more than one child, you are awake when the first one wakes up, and don't go to sleep until after the last one goes down for the night. Then, one must add waking at night for potty, diapers, food, dreams, and anyother reason into the mix. Granted if you are lucky enought to get them to nap at the same time during the day you are able to nap as well, if you don' realize that you have plenty of other things to do while they sleep that you can't really do while they are awake. And yes, you could go to sleep right after they do at night, but what about winding down and having alone time with the spouse? On of the problems right now is Bigguy. One of many ways that a toddler tries to exert their budding independance is by trying to controll when they go to sleep. He will force himself to stay awake for as long as he possibly can, and rather upsetting some people in the process, if we wake him up earl the following morning, we are stuck with a cranky child who will not neccassarilly nap or go to bed early the next day. And that is assuming that after staying up untill almost midnight that he won't wake chipper at 5:30 the next morning anyway.

I know that i am being rather grumbly right now, but I am also taking care of Hubby a little more than normal due to yet another kidney stone. We are fairly sure that part of the problem is how we've been eating the last almost year, since we have been living with the in-laws, but relarively soon we will be out from under their roof, and it will b much easier to have a healthier lifestyle again. YAY!! Goodbye to processed food everyother night with greasy foods on the non processed nights(in all fairness it is pro'lly not all as bad as that, just frustrating) and hello to fresh homemade goodness. Yes, this will be more work for me, but it's worth it. Ahh-to be able to cook again and have the right fuels for my body. to have veggies that don't always come from a bag, and to have Mac and cheese that if it's not homemade, will not be nuclear orange either. Ahh- the salads and breads, the well balanced delights, the ethnic cuisine, food that doesn't require mushrooms, and cream soups.

I am a food nerd!!I long to measure, cut , clean and create. Give me a chicken, tomatoes, and rice and I will give you three different meals, four if you toss in an onion or green pepper. Give me vegetables and I will give you soups, stir fries, salads, sauces. Give me beef, and well, you'll get beef, but you catch my drift. I envision a table that is abundant in health and flavor, that is visually and olfactorally pleasing, that feeds the body and the spirit. I envision a table where my children can eat side by side with my mom and step-dad without needing sepperate dishes to please everyone. I envision a table that brings together meals from across the world and makesthem mine. I envision a table that my children will be proud to have their freinds and lovers at as the grow up. In my mind, the table is an important part of family, and I want it to be mine at last.

Soon enough, I will have the comfort of good food and family at my table, I will have the luxury of freinds at my table, I will see my family grow at my table. If I am really lucky...I will see a dishwasher in my kitchen.