Sunday, August 03, 2008

He's not 'normal' and that is OK.

The mother in law has spent an aweful lot of time with Thor over the summer. first, at the beginning of June, a road trip to Utah. In July, we spent four or five days with her, and then, she took ass three boys for a weekend so we could get down and CLEAN, and then, she just had the older two this weekend in Duluth.
A lot of time spent with a three year old, for sure.
A lot of good has come from this, he is more potty trained at this point than I had ever hoped he would be, he is comfy traveling in the car for long distances, he has seen a lot of great things. One of the downfalls of this is that she still insists that there is nothing really wrong with him, and he will grow out of it.

This is really frustrating on a couple of levels. First, wether or not he will magically grow out of the autism spectrim, and his sensory issues, he is dealing with them now. Second, there is a very real possibility that he will never grow out of it, third, there is a small chance that it could get worse.

Yes, I love when people treat him like a normal kid, but he has some things that make him not nomral. This means that, occasionally, you cannot treat him like an ormal kid. You have to take the time to differentiate between a meltdown and a tantrum before disciplining him, for example. You also have to ask any and every multiple choice question as many times as there are answers, changing the answers each time, so that each answer is last at least once. Why? Because often time, due to echolalia, he will repeat the last word or words he heard. You cannot ask him "Thor, would you like Orange Juice?" as he will generally say "Orange juice" you have to ask "Thor, would you like orange juice? Yes or no? No orange jioce or yes orange juice?" and so on. THis takes a long time, but it also prevents you from becoming upset because you aksed him what he wanted, he told you, and now he won't do anything with it.
Sometimes, even if you do give him what he actually wants, it will be wrong. Understanding is needed that when something is wrong, nothing will make it right.

I hape every day that he is able to lead a fairly normal life, while preparing for the fact that he may not. It would really make her life easier, and mine, if she would do the same, otherwise, I don't know what will happen if he doesn't 'snap out of it' at 7 or 12. I don't know how she will handle it.

Also, she really needs ot stop giving me parenting advice. I know what sort of mom she was, and seriously, her advice is not anything I will really listen to.

Off topic- There may be some name changes in the blog. As Buddha gets older, we realize that Loki may be a better moniker.

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