OMG, POTTY!!!!

Total potty count for Loki for christmas day- 3, yes folks, three! ONce at my mom's and twice at home after a rediculously long nap. He asked/told us at home, as well, it wasn't a case of changing pants in the bathroom and asking 'cause the opportunity was there, like at my mom's. No, Loki walked up, said "Potty please, NOW!!!" we ran in, sat him down, and viola! Pee, in the potty!

We had two more trips last night, and one so far today.

Can you tell that I have been dealing with daipers/pull-ups for the last 7.5 years? Seriously, Hermes was at the tail end of training when Thor was born, and Thor is in the 'stay one step ahead of Loki" stage of training.

Seriously, I will be done with daipers in all their forms, other than 'goodnight pants"** in a few months or so...WOOHOO!!!



***Goodnight pants are essentially pull-ups for overnight. They are designed in brief style for younger boys (think 4 and under) and in 'boxer' styles for boys 4 and up. Loki shouldn't need tham for too long, if at all, but with Thor's sensory issues, he will not wake up if he has to use the potty, and this way, we will not be changing sheets so often, and hey look and feel more like boxer briefs than a pull-up.

It's Chrsitmas!

Christmas day has, so far, been awesome. Chrsitmas at my mom's was smaller this year, but in many ways that made it better. There was a lot more thought put into the gifts, and everyone really seemd to enjoy what the recieved. The adult kids gift exchange had a smaller limit this year, but we were stil able to get everyone what they really wanted. I got Buppy to movies she really wanted, plus an awesome dragon calander, Hubby got an illistrated guide to his favorite book series, My step-bro got me an "Omg! Ponies" shirt which I will undoubtedly wear to death, and Hubby got the future BIL two pair of much needed gloves. The boys got awesome presents from everyone, clothing, books, toys, all of it appreciated. Right now, Thor is napping with the giant stuffed Elmo that santa brought him, an Elmo that went every where with us today, even wearing a sweat jacket out and about, as Thor did not want him to get cold, Loki is sleeping with the stuffed pup he got from one of his brother's last night. Hermes is currently playing with his Pirate themed Lego set he got from his Auntie Sistah Girl (who loved the coloing book I got her- yes, we are an odd family, why?

There was an odd thing that occured with gifts this year. One of the smaller items Hermes got from Santa was a Capt'n Jack Sparrow action figure, yesterday, he got a large Pirates of the Carribean coloring set, 8 markers, 4 twistable crayons, and 20 large coloring sheets, and then he got the Pirate lego set from Sistah Girl. He is really happy about all of these, as he can assemble his legos, set up the posters he colos around it,m and have Capt'n Jack as a giant over the legos. Smart kid.

A few things really stand out for me from today. It was a really enjoyable breakfast, first off. Loki behaved as well as can be expected from a two year old on Christmas. Hermes was as patient as you can expect a 7 year old to be, and Thor di amazingly well, making sure to wish everyone a Marrr-ee Christsmasts! One of the gifts Hubby and I recieved from Mom-the hipple and Cool-jazz dad was a Mandarin Chinese Immersion set, so that we can actually understand Hermes, and help him with school stuff.

One of the greatest gifts, though, was a non tangible. Loki peed on the potty at Mom's. I am thrilled, as this means that come this time next year (sooner actually, but I don't want to jynx it) I will be done with daipering all together!! No more stinky pants for me!

One of the other great things, every thing ran smoothely, everyone was hppy, there were no dissapointments, so snark, no fights, it was just a good, relaxing day.

I needed that after yesterady, when everything was running a good hour and a half later than we were told, so Loki was overtired, Thor was melting down repeatedly before dinner was even served, and it was jsut tense for Hubby and I. I came home from that, spent about n hour being numb, another hour crying, and some more time fuming, before BIL and SIL came over to do a gift exchange (HellBoy II: the Golden Army dvd...yeah!) and then I whipped out all the santa presents, and wrapped all the gifts that were going to moms.

I am slowly doing the post holiday clean up and sorting of gifts. I am having an amazing day so far today, much better than I have had, holiday wise, in years, and I want it to last.

Oh- and something ultra heartwarming. Troll Who Lives Under The STairs, AKA Friend (who doesn't actually live under our stairs, nor is he a troll) Is working today, 8am to 6pm. While at work, there was a alrge family waiting for their photo order to be complete. He runs the photo area. After he completed their order, they thanked him profusely for working today, and handed him a Christmas card. Inside was a $10 gift card for Target.
Total strangers, being nice to retial folk. That is part of Christmas too.

5:30 does not equal 7

So, I had a really long post started. I realized that it was upsetting me more, instead of calming me down.
I will update after tomorrow, when I will have had a good experience to offset my evening tonight.

Toshibasaurus

So, I have a temporary laptop solution in the guise of the ToshibaSaurus.
The Toshibasaurus is one of my father-in-laws older laptops. To gove you an idea of how old it is, it was running WindowsME. Yeah.
I found my XP discs and am in the process of running the longest upgrade EVAH.
Once this is done, I will have a mostly functional laptop.
Not a permanent solution by any means, but something that will definitely work until we can afford a new laptop, probably around tax return time.

There are a few rather valid reasons on why the ToshibaSaurus is not a good long term fix. A) it is ancient in laptop years, a good 8 years old, if not more. It has limited hard drive and memory space. It does have wireless internet, as long as I make sure the wireless adapter card is securely plugged in. Did I mention that, among ither things, this laptop still has a floppy drive? Yeah, it's takes the 3.2s (the ones that I always confused as 'hard disks' when I was younger, as I grew ip on the day of the floppy, actually physicly bendy, 5.whatever floppy disks, as opposed to the hard plastic cased, smaller but holds more data, 3.whatevers)
The batterry only hold a charge for about half an hour, unless you leave it plugged in for roughly a week before running it on just battery power, so I really need to be close to an outlet to use it for any amount of time. The keyboard is missing a few keys, and so on.

It is slow, cumbersome, and unattractive, but it works for now. It will help greatly to get me through my first quarter of school, and after that, I can transfer all my info onto my (hopefully) new, shimy, sleek, effective laptop.

Hopefully.

Toys for Tots

To everyone out there in internet land who has donated to Toys for Tots, this year or previous years, thank you. There are so many people that you are bringing Christmas to that you may never know. Some of these people have had recent hardship, and are working their way out, and Christmas scared the shit out of them, some have had longer standing hardships, and see no way out, but either way, you are bringnig Santa into the lives of their kids, you are the true spirit of Christmas to the older kids, those who have outgrown Santa, and to the adults who have to request the toys, you are proving that despite what we were led to believe, Santa does exist.

Thank you to the Marines, who for going on 60 years have spent time and energy bringing the vision of one man and his wife to liffe. Thank you to the news stations that get the word out, thank oyu to the orginizations that get the toys out.

If you can, please, drop a toy in the bins when you are out and about. Do not forget about the older kids, either, as Toys for Tots distributes gifts for those of up to 16 years of age. Some state have a tech for teens or toys for teens program geared specifically for older kids.
Drop some change in the red buckets with the bell ringers if you can, as you may be giving someone food and heat.
I know that times for everyone are hard, but if you can spare anyhting to make it a little easier for someone with less than you, this year is the year to do so.
For those who have, thank you, for those who want, help is coming, and for those who cannot, but need not, it will be OK, too.

seriously, no really...

Loki hs the Death Cold!!!
I have not had more than three days in the last MONTH where one of the kids in housewifeland has not been flinging snot.
I know that does not sound attractive, but it could not sound worse than what is happenning around here. See, the unique thing about having three kids, is that different colds have different incubation periods. This means that it is totally pssible for all three of them to have one type of cold at the same time, then have one ofthem get a new cold, then pass it on down the line.

When Hermes is sick, he is either bemoaning how icky he feels, and become a hermit in his room, emerging only for sustenance and cuddles, or he insists that he feels juuuuust fine, and why can't he (insert any number of things that is unacceptable to do while ill)

When Thor is ill, he want's momma. Maybe he want's poppa, too. Thor just wants to be snuggled, given warm food and drink, and put to bed swaddled (and try swaddling a humungous 4 year old!) when he is sick.

Loki, though. Loki will run away from you when he is ill, you may try to feed him, or change him, or make him feel better, or do something that would make him want to rest, and dangit, he is a man on the move- no time for being ill. He is soooo crabby that he will whine or cry almost contantly until he is better, he will even wimper and whine in his sleep.
Out of all of my kids, I dread him being ill most of all. Yeah, Thor cannot tell us what he needs, but we can generally figure it out. Yeah, Hermes gets annoying, but we can send him to his room. Loki, well, I will be chock full of frazzled nerves by the end ofthe day, but once he is better, he will smile, and cuddle, and thank me, and tell me he loves me, and I am no longer mad until the next time.

Thanksgiving, Libraries, and school

Today is Black Friday...dunhdunhDUNHHHHH!!! The only thing I plan on purchasing today is milk and pull-ups. Seriously, I am happy if I don't even leave the house on Black Friday, as I have put in my time on the front lines, working at a toy store, as a teenager. Never again.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving.
I was able to see someone be honestly and openly thankful last night. Hubby's step-aunt has two sons. Both of them are military boys. One was recently released, the other is being stationed in Texas for a month and a half between tours of duty way out east.
For the first time in YEARS she has both of her boys home, and safe, for Thanksgiving, and they will both be there for Christmas, too.
I have many things I am thankful for, but I don't think that it comes close to matching her level of thanks, of peace of mind, of security. These are all things she hasn't gotten to feel on a holiday for a long time.
She totally supports the troops, obviously, as do we. She does not support the war, but being her sons are in, and were in, the troops, often times on the front lines, having them in one piece was the best thing she could ever receive.

Libraries- My fair city has a rather extensive library system. I live right near one of their branches. Years ago, I had a library card for Fair city, but I let it lapse.
Last night, I was checking out their on-line card catalog, and thinking "Damn, Housewife, there are all sorts of good books and movies that you could get from your library, and once you are in school, all sorts of good resources. You should really get a new library card. Even though some of the books you want to reserve have a wit time, you can at least get on the list!"
Lo- Not only could I get on the list, but I could actually sign up for my card, on-line! All I have to do is bring my ID and proof of address down to the library, and they will print it out! Since I was able to sign up on-line, and since I am a Fair City resident, I was given a temporary card-number so that I was able to request the books that I want, being put on the list for two of them, and having the third shipped to me branch from a different one.
Damn! I love the public library system, and cannot believe I was not using it for so long.

School- I start in less than a month. In a few weeks I turn thirty. By the time I graduate, I will be in the 34ish range, and 35 or 36 if I want to get my CPA. I am surprisingly OK with this.
I am nervous, excited, nervous, pleased, and nervous.

I am also trying to figure out if there is any way in hell that I will be able to obtain a laptop.

Edumacation

So, in a month and a half, shortly after the major holiday hustle is over, I start working towards my Bachelors in Accounting.
It will be a long road, and I am seriously hoping that I can manage to cram four years of schooling down into three, so that I can start working right after Loki starts kindergarten.
In reality, I will be happy to finish in four, as that would still be full time, and I have three kids, and other stuff to do, nothing resembling a life mind you, 'casue if commercials are to be believed, the only life a mom has is her family.....
That's a topic for another post, though.

Oldest lost another tooth

...quite literally.
Oldest had a tooth last night that was so loose it guarenteed a trip from the Tooth Fairy. About 15 minutes after we sent him up to wind down for the night (we send him to bed an hour before bedtime, he may read, play, watch TV, whatever, it's just 'him' time) he came downstairs to tell us he lost his tooth, and show us the gap.
Yay! Where is the tooth so we can put it in the Tooth Fairy pillow that hangs on the door?
No, I lost it.

He was sitting on a rubbermaid bin, playing and watching TV at the same time (oooh, the mltitasking) when all of a sudden, without him wiggling it, it fell out of his mouth, and into his pile of Legos. He jumped up, kicking the pile of many Legos and one tooth in the process, and the tooth is now nowhere to be found.

I looked, he looked, Hubby looked, cannot find the tooth.

Oldest was rather concerned that the Tooth Fairy would not come. We assured him that the TF would come. He asked if the TF would cdome again when he found his tooth. We explained that it doesn't work that way. She will either come that same night, or when/if you find the tooth, but not both.
Being a kid, he opted for the same night (smart kid, do you know how hard it is to find a baby tooth that goes missing? I lost one at my dad's once, about three months before they moved. We never found it, not even when they did a thourough deep clean to get their rent deposit back!).
Oldest asked what happens when he does find the tooth.
Quick thinking on my part, coupled with my brain to mouth filter not working lately, caused me to blurt out that when we find it, we will let the TF know, and then ship it to Tooth Fairy Central.

I was expecting him to question this, as he questions everything. I was expecting him to ask why she wouldn't just pick it up when she got his next tooth, which is already loose, or why she couldn't just find it in his room?
Nope, he just looks at me and says "OK, momma, that makes sense."

Seriously, loyal readers, I was o shocked by this that as soon as he went back up stairs, I looked at Hubby and said "I cannot believe he bought that!" Hubby looked back and said "I know!"

Now, I just have to brace myself for the questions regarding Tooth Fairy Central.

In other Oldest news, he came downstairs the other daus and asked if Santa was real. I asked why, and he explained that some kids at his school say there is a Santa, some say it's just your parents.
I aksed him what he believed, and he told me that he believed Santa was real. I told him that if that was what he thought, then Santa was indeed real.

Once again, I cannot believe he bought it, and didn't question.

I have a feeling that when he gets older, and learns that the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Santa, and any other number of things (like the Dirty Room Demon (don't ask)) are not real, per se, but parental and sociatal constructs used to trick small children into behaving in exchange for treats, money, candy, and gifts, he is going to be majorly pissed off. Not because they are not real, but because we led him to believe in something so illogical.

conferences

We had conferences for Hermes last night. We also set up his IEP for speech. He will have speech therapy two times a week, in half hour doses. After a month or so, they will adjust as needed. He will also be in a one-on-one setting for at elast the first month-and-a-half to two months.

Conferences:
Well, he is smart. Being in second grade, he has to do the state mandated standardizd testing. For reading, he scored fairly average for his grade level for the begining of the school year- let's take into account he has been in full Mandarin immersion ubtil this year, his English teacher also said that she is certain he is at least a full grade level above that.
In math, he is scoring average- for a third grader- half way through the school year.
Take into account, second grade, begining of school year, oh, and did I mention he was home sick the two days before he tested, not yet at %100 when he tested?

Basically, Hermes is very, very smart, he has some social/behavioural issues that are exactly what you would expect for a second grader, and less thatn what you would expect when you take into account that he is a YOUNG second grader (summer birthday, will turn eight between second and third grade, if he skips no grades, he will not turn 18 until a few weeks AFTER graduation.)

It went well, he is having less behaviour issues than last year, especially after we explained to him that you cannot refuse to do school work, especially not when you are at school.
He is listening better, interacting better, and we all expect to see HUGE improvements once he is speaking better.

I voted

I voted, did you?
Pleasantly, I was in and out in about twenty minutes.
MN still uses the fill in the bubble and feed the slip into the machine forms, so I know that I am credited with the correct votes.
I got my fabulous red 'I Voted' sticker, and I will wear it with pride all day long.

Please, if you are able to, get out and vote. Yes, you may have to stand in lines, but at least we have beautiful weather.
Yes, people will be cranky, but at least their voices are being heard.
If you care about your future, my future, the kids future, vote.

Hermes made sure to tell me this morning that I needed to vote, if a seven year old remembers, certainly you can.

Enough with the ads already!

I wake up exta early this morning, to six solid minutes of political ads on the radio. I hop up, turn the radio off, and flip on the TV to check the weather and traffic, just in time for another 6 minutes od campaign ads.
In the car ride this morning, to get Hubby to work, I had to change the station on the radio rougly every 10 minutes to avoid, you guessed it, minutes upon minutes of political ads.

Seriously, I am so done with this.

I want to be able to have background noise on without hearing what Coleman, Franken, McCain, Obama, and the dreaded Bachman did. Is that too much to ask?

I know that it it s scant handful of days until the election. I know that this is one of the biggest elections EVAH!!! But I just want some freedom from it all.

four months ago today

Four months ago, at about this time, I was in a hospital room, out of the mass recovery room, after having my hysterectomy.
I am doing pretty good.
My incision scars itch, one in particular more than the others, but I have been told by everyone that this is normal, and with where the scar is (right side of abdomen, going through some stretch marks) that it will always itch off an on.
My ovaries are mostly functioning, they are still a little sluggish- I still have the occasional hotflash, then a week later, I will be all PMS-y. I used to have cramps to warn me when it was coming, now, I just get cranky, cravey, and water retainy.
I am not sore anymore. I don't think I can adequately explain just how awesome not hurting is. I still have aches and pains, but I do.not.hurt.

I have a bunch more stuff to talk about, like ragaling the story of our plumbing, and other things, but it has to wait, as kids call.

seriously...

You know it's sad when a friend asks what you are going to dress up as for Halloween, and specifies that it should be something different than what you are in a daily basis, and your reply is "A well put together, efficiant, stay at home mom."

Thor is four!!!

Todqay, Thor, my middle son, is 4 years old.
Yesterday, we had a special dinner, and we had cake. The closest we could get him to understand was that it was, and I quote Thor here "Happy Birthday to you for me to eat, cake!"
Same with the presants, he was happy to get them, but he is so fuzzy on the concept of birthdays, and how they apply to him, that I think that we could habe done nothing, and it wouldn't have mattered to him.

At 4, we are partially potty trained, which for a normal 4 year old isn't all that much, but for him, on the spectrum and with sensory issues, is HUGE. When given a choice, he will consistantly choose training pants over a pull up, and will even wear his Elmo uderwear on some days, a major feat, as he will only wear them on days where he is confident he can urinate and defecate on the toilet, as he will not risk gettin Elmo wet or soiled.

At 4, he is talking more. If he cannot come up with the word he needs, or cannot say the word he needs (due to texture reasons, mostly) he may use 18 words to say something simple, like "I need more mmmmm nummy milk for the drinking at nappy time please" instead of "Could I have more milk please" or even "Fill my sippy cup"
At 4, he will talk alot if allowed to sing or ad a -y sound to the end of words. Nap time is nappy time, dinner or lunch or breakfast is "food for the eaty time" but he is learning.
Sometimes, it is like living with a larger Yoda.

He laughs all the time. Everything as funny. He apologizes for everything,. We don't even know what, half of the time, he will just walk up, give a hug, and say "Oh, Boo Sorry!"

He gets very upset if things are not done right, although 'right' is a flexable concept we will never understand. Sometimes the pants need to go on first, sometimes the socks, sometimes we have to wear shorts under the pants.

He has no idea yet that he is different from other kids. No clue that how he plays more closely resembles a three year old than a 4 year old. No clue that he doens't speak right, that not every kids needs to have things done in a certain way, that not every kid gets the option of running around mostly naked just because we canno0t find any clothes today that don't make us freak out.

He is also a very typical 4 year old. He gets into trouble, throws tantrums on occasion, gets out in time out. Granted, he will 'trade' his time out with Loki. He gets into Hermes room, and decided that it is all his.

I do not know any more now than I did 2 years ago, when he was first diagnosed, what the future holds for him. I know that I will always do my best by him, though, and I will always be there for him. I know that it is normal for parents with kids like mine ti need a vacation from their kid, and to feel guilty forn eeding it.
I know that he loves me, and he doens't care that some days I am a hot mess. I am momma, and Momma is good.
I know he loves Hubby, even though somedays Hubby can be a flaming asshole, as he isPoppa, and Poppa is great.

therapists and anxiety

Last night, I met with my new therapist for the first time. I explained what has been going on with me, which is not something I have discussed here too much.
I have been having anxiety attacks of the panic variety. They have been increasing their frequency over the last year, and sinse I couldn't logic them into not happenning, nor could I logic their being around, I sought help.
Therapist is pretty awesome. I need to find her a name other than Lucy Liu, who she reminds me of, I'll work on that.
She let me know that if there isn't an underlying issue, like depression, and frankly, even if there is, that stopping them probably won't happen, but we went over many techniques to mitigate how bad they are, to help me finnction better in between times, and stuff like that.
I don't see her again for a month, as we would like to see if I have another attack or two in between now and then, which, if the pattern holds, I will.

I have a few assignments between now and then, however-
I am to keep a daily journal, even if it's jotted down before bed like this - DATE_ everything went OK. She would like more detail in it over time, but she understands that I am a busy mother.
I am to keep an anxiety journal- not of daily anxiety, but if I do have an attack, or just more than normal anxiety levels that interfere with daily life, I am to stop, write down the time, what I was doing, what everyone else was doing around me, the condition of my house, things that are on my to-do list, etc...basically, we are looking to see if the factors causing this are external (bills, messiness, something on TV, etc) or internal (stress, depression, OCD, what have you)
I am to meditate and work on meditation techniques- relaxation, deep breething, justb eing her and now.
I am also to try and limit myself to one hour of politics a day, with exceptions to be made for debates, etc... This ine is just for my immediate mental health, as I am rather worked up over tis election, and I will freely admit that.
I am to do research online about anxiety, bipolar, depression, and biological components of mental health. Having a bipolar sister, and some history of depression in my family pretty much means I will not come through the mental health windmill unscathed. She wants me to see if I notice anything about myself that raises alarm bells, she want me to understand the links, and she also let me know that some people have anxiety issue based on control- and not having enough, feeling like htings are out of their hands, etc... the more I am educated, the more control I may feel I have.
Another one, and she said that this is temporary, just while we work on everyhting else, she only wants me in school half to 3/4 time. She does not want me to go full time until we either work on my perfectionism in school thing, or I have the kids in preschool or not around 24/7 There is no reason for me to add stress to my life if I don't have to. School is good, wanting to better myself is good- taking on too much at once is setting meself up for stress, turmoil, and more attacks.

oh dear god

Tomorrow, I go to the knit out with my mom, then clean her place. I don't think I've looked foword to something so much in a long time. Hubby has been working alot lately, the kids all have some new found autonomy, and I am being driving mad.
Between Hermes' "Mo-ommm, the kids are (insert whiny complaint here)" Loki and Thor's new found ability to traverse the house freely, since they can now open the gates, and everything else, I have never needed 6-7 kid free hours more in my life!

With all love and respect.

I love my sister. I think she is great! She knows I love her, and she knows I respect her.
I almost laughed so hard earlier today that I peed myself.
Someone commented to me that Palin being VP would be akin to my sister running the country.
Granted, this person does not know my sister, and my sister would not be bad at running the country, per se, but seriously.
I don't vote for someone because they are loke me, or like a family member. I vote for someone because their political beliefs are near mine, because I think they will help make the best future for my kids, etc... Not because I could sit around and talk shop with them.
My sister would not be the person to run the country, but then, neither am I.

Yet another thing I never thought I would say.

"Loki, don't play with the cat when you are naked!"

When Anxiety Attacks! Next on Fox!!!

So, anxiety, when productive or anticipated, like before an important event, big meeting, or somesuch, is not a terrible thing.
When it hits you out of nowhere, it is odd.
When it hits you out of nowhere on more than one occasion, it is damn scdary.
When there starts to be a pattern of it happenning, for no apparent reason, maybe it is time to see someone about it.