For the blog tour this week, I ended up deciding the topic. That topic is "What I love(like) about myself". I chose that to be the topic, because I think that women, in general, are too hard on themselves.
Now that I have made that statement, my totally self serving blog post begins now!
I love that I can laugh about anything. Often times I laugh at completely innapropriate things, which makes me laugh even more. Laughter is good for you.
I love my eyes. If you ever ask my what my best physical featuer is, I'll tell you my eyes, and I feel so blessed to see those eyes on THor.
I love that I can make things that make others feel warm and fuzzy. I knit and crochet, sew and quilt.
I really like the grown up I am becoming. I differentiate here between adult and grown up. I have been an adult since I turned 18. I only recently, even with having kids, started to grow up, and I like what I am seeing.
I like that I am someone people seem to be comfy talking to. I enjoy being able to help people, even if it's only by listening.
I really like that I can make my kids smile-nothing is better than that.
I love that I am not too old for cartoons.
That's about it for now. There is probably more, but I like the list I have.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
stuff, and maybe even MORE stuff!
So, Hubby had an interview today for a much better job. He should be having is second and final interview within a week or so. Lets all keep fingers crossed.
I was supp-osed to have a phone interview today, but that had to be rescheduled, as the flu is going around that company's HR office. On the plus side, the HR director, and person in charge of all final hiring decisions, called me herself to apologize, and to reschedule, with her. Even though I am kind of nervous to be interviewing with her, I am very hopeful, as if she is taking th time to interview me herself, they want me. I would be doing customer service/billing support/data entry for a major company. I would be getting good pay, and I found out that there is a lot of opportunity for advancement, even with their part time employees. Once again, lets keep fingers crossed.
School- Yeah, I aced my rough draft assignment, and my last terminology paper. It's good to be smart, even if I don't always feel it.
Y'all will be seeing many more posting from me. On top of my weekly assignment from my blog-tour group (this weeks will be about why I love myself), I am also going to be doing a fiction blog-tour group. Many of the same people, just a chance to flex our fiction muscles.
Thor is still talking more, expecially if he an sing. We have to figure out a way to slow his speech down, as it will make him more easily understood.
Buddha is still talking more, too.
After my procedure, I will start potty training both of them. I am still working on Thor, we will just be a little more intensive. Buddha is showing many signs of readiness. How sweet would it be to have them both out of daipers soon?
Hermes is still rediculously smart. His conferences went well, and focused on that he is rediculously smart.
I still hurt. It's good to have pain meds, but it sucks at the same time. The meds that allow me to still finction don't take away all the pain, and the meds that take away the pain leave me unable to function, or even speak coherently.
I'm dealing, though.
I was supp-osed to have a phone interview today, but that had to be rescheduled, as the flu is going around that company's HR office. On the plus side, the HR director, and person in charge of all final hiring decisions, called me herself to apologize, and to reschedule, with her. Even though I am kind of nervous to be interviewing with her, I am very hopeful, as if she is taking th time to interview me herself, they want me. I would be doing customer service/billing support/data entry for a major company. I would be getting good pay, and I found out that there is a lot of opportunity for advancement, even with their part time employees. Once again, lets keep fingers crossed.
School- Yeah, I aced my rough draft assignment, and my last terminology paper. It's good to be smart, even if I don't always feel it.
Y'all will be seeing many more posting from me. On top of my weekly assignment from my blog-tour group (this weeks will be about why I love myself), I am also going to be doing a fiction blog-tour group. Many of the same people, just a chance to flex our fiction muscles.
Thor is still talking more, expecially if he an sing. We have to figure out a way to slow his speech down, as it will make him more easily understood.
Buddha is still talking more, too.
After my procedure, I will start potty training both of them. I am still working on Thor, we will just be a little more intensive. Buddha is showing many signs of readiness. How sweet would it be to have them both out of daipers soon?
Hermes is still rediculously smart. His conferences went well, and focused on that he is rediculously smart.
I still hurt. It's good to have pain meds, but it sucks at the same time. The meds that allow me to still finction don't take away all the pain, and the meds that take away the pain leave me unable to function, or even speak coherently.
I'm dealing, though.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Helping a firend deal with an impending loss
So roommate friend, also known as the Troll who lives under our stairs (which is even funnier, as the name carried over from when we had a basement) is dealing with some really heavy shit right now.
Troll's mom was diagnosed about a year ago with lung cancer. They underwent a few courses of treatment, they thought it was going away...thought.
The lung cancer was a alrge cell, a particularl agressive large cell, and it didn't go away. Once treatment was on hold, it came back, with a vengeance, and spread into her right lung, as well. About two weeks ago, she was informed that it was time to make the choice between quantity and quality. She could have more chemo, to prolong her time left, but she would be sick for a long time, or she could do nothing, manage the pain, and try and enjoy what, at the time, was looking to be 6 months to two years.
Last night, she started to have major problems breathing, and thought it may be a collapsed lung. She went into the ER, and they found pneumonia, under the tumor. She is on an oral antibiotic for the pneumonia, but it's looking grim. They cannot do any aggressive treatment for the pneumonia, as it could encourage the cancer to spread. They cannot do chemo at all, as it will weaken her immune system, and the infection in the pneumonia will spread.
Her specialist passed down word this morning that between the agressiveness of the cancer, the inability to operate, and the inability to effectively treat the pneumonia, she has anywhere between a few days, to maybe a month or so.
Troll is in his early-mid twenties. He has a younger sister, an older brother (who is being an ass) and a father with heart issues.
I don't know what. other than being a shoulder to cry on, I can do for him, but I am asking that any healing energies, prayers, good thoughts, etc.. be sent his way.
Thank you.
Troll's mom was diagnosed about a year ago with lung cancer. They underwent a few courses of treatment, they thought it was going away...thought.
The lung cancer was a alrge cell, a particularl agressive large cell, and it didn't go away. Once treatment was on hold, it came back, with a vengeance, and spread into her right lung, as well. About two weeks ago, she was informed that it was time to make the choice between quantity and quality. She could have more chemo, to prolong her time left, but she would be sick for a long time, or she could do nothing, manage the pain, and try and enjoy what, at the time, was looking to be 6 months to two years.
Last night, she started to have major problems breathing, and thought it may be a collapsed lung. She went into the ER, and they found pneumonia, under the tumor. She is on an oral antibiotic for the pneumonia, but it's looking grim. They cannot do any aggressive treatment for the pneumonia, as it could encourage the cancer to spread. They cannot do chemo at all, as it will weaken her immune system, and the infection in the pneumonia will spread.
Her specialist passed down word this morning that between the agressiveness of the cancer, the inability to operate, and the inability to effectively treat the pneumonia, she has anywhere between a few days, to maybe a month or so.
Troll is in his early-mid twenties. He has a younger sister, an older brother (who is being an ass) and a father with heart issues.
I don't know what. other than being a shoulder to cry on, I can do for him, but I am asking that any healing energies, prayers, good thoughts, etc.. be sent his way.
Thank you.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Odd vacation
So, the request has been made that, at semi regular intervals, I will post on any given topic. I know what this topic is, but you do not know until I tell you. Also, others will be writing about this topic, too. I bet if you check out my "Look! Sites I Read!" thingy, over there =====>> you may be able to read others views on the same topic. I will always let y'all know when I am writing about a topic that has been given to me, like I am now.
Strange or weird or odd vacations:
When I was living in Iowa, land of excitement (ok, not really), a group of us decided that we were going to go to AdventureLand for the day, and then camp for the rest of the weekend, somewhere. We decided this at about 6am, and we were heading out at about 6:30am, the same day.
It rained, all day. We never thought to check the weather. We never though to check who was packing what, either. Between a group of five of us, we had three sleeping bags, a few loose blankets, the clothes we grabbed before we left, and a tarp. No tent, no cook stove, nothing to cook with, nothing to do.
We ended up making it work, somehow. We hit a gas station and got some rope, so we could sling up the tarp. We made 'nests' out of the blankets, and luckilly, my mom taught me how to make awesome fires (Goddess of campfires..yeah, that's my mom, in human form-sometime I'll tell y'all about a ranger coming and telling her to make her fire smaller). We had to drive from our campsite into town every day for the three days we camped, in order to get food. We ate a lot of hotdogs, marshmallows, and chips that weekend. We also drank a lot of really warm soda.
We survived the weekend, and headed home, We stopped at a sit down restaurant to eat, halfway home, and realized that for 3 and a half days we had been out in the rain, the mud, sleeping outside, with no shower, perfume, deoderant, not even washing our faces. Denny's manager, we are eternally sorry.
Strange or weird or odd vacations:
When I was living in Iowa, land of excitement (ok, not really), a group of us decided that we were going to go to AdventureLand for the day, and then camp for the rest of the weekend, somewhere. We decided this at about 6am, and we were heading out at about 6:30am, the same day.
It rained, all day. We never thought to check the weather. We never though to check who was packing what, either. Between a group of five of us, we had three sleeping bags, a few loose blankets, the clothes we grabbed before we left, and a tarp. No tent, no cook stove, nothing to cook with, nothing to do.
We ended up making it work, somehow. We hit a gas station and got some rope, so we could sling up the tarp. We made 'nests' out of the blankets, and luckilly, my mom taught me how to make awesome fires (Goddess of campfires..yeah, that's my mom, in human form-sometime I'll tell y'all about a ranger coming and telling her to make her fire smaller). We had to drive from our campsite into town every day for the three days we camped, in order to get food. We ate a lot of hotdogs, marshmallows, and chips that weekend. We also drank a lot of really warm soda.
We survived the weekend, and headed home, We stopped at a sit down restaurant to eat, halfway home, and realized that for 3 and a half days we had been out in the rain, the mud, sleeping outside, with no shower, perfume, deoderant, not even washing our faces. Denny's manager, we are eternally sorry.
Why enunciation is important
Hermes, as you all know by now, is a very smart child. He is also a very curious child. He also does not speak quite as clearly as he should, nor as clearly as he is able to. I think this comes back to the whole "being smart enough to know to hide it around people who will inevitably freak out over how smart he is" thing.
Anyways, we have learned over the past few weeks a few valuable lessons. One is the importance of monitoring what your almost 6 and three quarters year old child is watching in his bedroom. We knew he was watching cartoons, and educational television. What surprised the heck out of us was that he was watching adult things...things like the news, and more news, and political shows, and unbiased news! Damn, I wasn't ready for that. We also learned the importance of making sure we understood what he was saying before making sure he understood. Let me explain- Hermes will mimic things he hears adults, and other people he cinsiders smart, say. He will also quote, verbatim, passages from books, television, movies, and commercials, if he thinks that it will work in a conversation. He will ask if he knows he doesn't know what it means, but if he thinks he knows, he will not ask. Since he doesn't always speak clearly, this leads to some interesting conversaitons.
I believe I posted previously about the whorehouse. If not, I will give a brief recap of the conversation that, in the five minutes it occured, redced me to tears as I was laughing so hard once I understood what he was asking. What he said: Mom, what's a warhorse? What I thought I heard-Mom, what's a ho'house? What I assumed I heard-Mom, what's a warehouse.
You can imagine the hilarity that accured when I thought he said whorehouse, and was trying to figure out where in the heck he heard that word. Imagine my surprise when he said at school! A school that has no students above the fourth grade!!!
Thankfully, he and I figured out what he was saying before the conversation got too heated.
Yesterday, though, while I was on painkillers at that, he sprung another one on me. "Mom, why is it, that if I need to talk about something I need to know whether or not it is impotent."
IMPOTENT people, my baby asked about impotency when he isn't even old enough to have to deal with being potent, let alone impotent! I asked him to repeat himself a few more times, and then I realized that he was asking about something being important! Ohhhhh!
The benifit of having a smart and very vocal child, is that you have a smart, vocal child. The downside is that you have a smart, vocal, child. I never know what's going to come out of his mouth, and I never know if what's coming out of his mouth is what's in his brain.
In related news, Thor has taken to saying nipple and boob. It started a few weeks ago when he spent about five minutes singing the word nipple, over and over and over. I was certain that I had to be hearing wrong, so aside from giggling at the three year old angelic voice saying nipple, I let it slide.
The other day, we got the sone of nipple, nipple, nipple,(whispered oh so quietly) boob, nipple, followed by a fit of giggles. I don't know if he even knows what nipples and boobs are, but at least he talking, right? Right?
Anyways, we have learned over the past few weeks a few valuable lessons. One is the importance of monitoring what your almost 6 and three quarters year old child is watching in his bedroom. We knew he was watching cartoons, and educational television. What surprised the heck out of us was that he was watching adult things...things like the news, and more news, and political shows, and unbiased news! Damn, I wasn't ready for that. We also learned the importance of making sure we understood what he was saying before making sure he understood. Let me explain- Hermes will mimic things he hears adults, and other people he cinsiders smart, say. He will also quote, verbatim, passages from books, television, movies, and commercials, if he thinks that it will work in a conversation. He will ask if he knows he doesn't know what it means, but if he thinks he knows, he will not ask. Since he doesn't always speak clearly, this leads to some interesting conversaitons.
I believe I posted previously about the whorehouse. If not, I will give a brief recap of the conversation that, in the five minutes it occured, redced me to tears as I was laughing so hard once I understood what he was asking. What he said: Mom, what's a warhorse? What I thought I heard-Mom, what's a ho'house? What I assumed I heard-Mom, what's a warehouse.
You can imagine the hilarity that accured when I thought he said whorehouse, and was trying to figure out where in the heck he heard that word. Imagine my surprise when he said at school! A school that has no students above the fourth grade!!!
Thankfully, he and I figured out what he was saying before the conversation got too heated.
Yesterday, though, while I was on painkillers at that, he sprung another one on me. "Mom, why is it, that if I need to talk about something I need to know whether or not it is impotent."
IMPOTENT people, my baby asked about impotency when he isn't even old enough to have to deal with being potent, let alone impotent! I asked him to repeat himself a few more times, and then I realized that he was asking about something being important! Ohhhhh!
The benifit of having a smart and very vocal child, is that you have a smart, vocal child. The downside is that you have a smart, vocal, child. I never know what's going to come out of his mouth, and I never know if what's coming out of his mouth is what's in his brain.
In related news, Thor has taken to saying nipple and boob. It started a few weeks ago when he spent about five minutes singing the word nipple, over and over and over. I was certain that I had to be hearing wrong, so aside from giggling at the three year old angelic voice saying nipple, I let it slide.
The other day, we got the sone of nipple, nipple, nipple,(whispered oh so quietly) boob, nipple, followed by a fit of giggles. I don't know if he even knows what nipples and boobs are, but at least he talking, right? Right?
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
my arguement against inteligent design theory, and a personal update
I have formulated an arguement against inteligent desing. this has nothing to do with fossils, proofs of evolution, or science. This has to do with manufacturer's warrantees.
Seriously, folks, if we were designed by an all knowing, inteligent creator, don't you think they would have tossed in a warrenty? Just a stamp or a peice of paper that we could turn in and have defective parts replaced, free of cost, at any time, or at least during that parts standard operating timeline? Seems like the inteligent thing to me.
So I had my Drs appointment on Monday. On April 10, I go on for a hysteroscopy, a resectoscopy, and a d&c. Hopefully, after getting a better look at what's going on in my uterus, removing the polyp, scraping it out so they can biopsy the fibroids, and getting a good look at the mass that's growing at the top, my body will reset itself, with the help of an oral, triphasic birthcontrol, or the Drs will figure out what is going on so we can fix it. If neither of these things happen, I am looking at a hysterectomy. If the fibroids or the polyp or the mystery mass end up being anything other than benign, I am looking at a historectomy, or ifthere is damage done to the uterine wall, I am...well, you get the gist.
I have at least one polyp, at least two or three definate firbroids, and a mass at the top cavity of the uterus. The fibroids are groing in an odd location (in between the uterine wall and the endometrium), and the appear to be growing rapidly.
I have a lot to wrap my head around right now, but I am working on it, and I have an excellent support system
On the totally geeky side, though, if I do have to have the uterus removed, it will be done by ROBOT!! My clinic owns their own DaVinci surgical robot.
On the plus side to all of this, my ovaries look beautiful, so know matter what, I should be able to keep them.
Seriously, folks, if we were designed by an all knowing, inteligent creator, don't you think they would have tossed in a warrenty? Just a stamp or a peice of paper that we could turn in and have defective parts replaced, free of cost, at any time, or at least during that parts standard operating timeline? Seems like the inteligent thing to me.
So I had my Drs appointment on Monday. On April 10, I go on for a hysteroscopy, a resectoscopy, and a d&c. Hopefully, after getting a better look at what's going on in my uterus, removing the polyp, scraping it out so they can biopsy the fibroids, and getting a good look at the mass that's growing at the top, my body will reset itself, with the help of an oral, triphasic birthcontrol, or the Drs will figure out what is going on so we can fix it. If neither of these things happen, I am looking at a hysterectomy. If the fibroids or the polyp or the mystery mass end up being anything other than benign, I am looking at a historectomy, or ifthere is damage done to the uterine wall, I am...well, you get the gist.
I have at least one polyp, at least two or three definate firbroids, and a mass at the top cavity of the uterus. The fibroids are groing in an odd location (in between the uterine wall and the endometrium), and the appear to be growing rapidly.
I have a lot to wrap my head around right now, but I am working on it, and I have an excellent support system
On the totally geeky side, though, if I do have to have the uterus removed, it will be done by ROBOT!! My clinic owns their own DaVinci surgical robot.
On the plus side to all of this, my ovaries look beautiful, so know matter what, I should be able to keep them.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
been a long time since I've rock and rolled
So I haven't updated for a while. It happens, sometimes real life gets in th way.
Totally TMI woman issue warning, men, avert your eyes, I warned you!!!!!!
So I have fallen, once again, into the incredibly irragular period cycle again. It's who whole nasty shebang this time.
After years of being brushed off, being told there is nohing wrong with me, and lord only knows what else, I finally have an appointment with a Dr who is going to try and help. It will be with a male,, wich is odd, as even though all of my babies were delivered by men, I gnerally prefere a female doctor for female issues. I do not mind, though, as apparently this guy is the House of MN odd gunecology issues. Quote one of the women on his team, there may not be anythin wrong with me, but there definately isn't anythign right, and they are going to figure it out.
11:15 on St patty's day, I get to have the first appointment and start figuring out what is going on. I am thrilled, a little aprehensive, but thrilled. Maybe, just maybe, i can get to a point where I only menstruate regular amounts at regular intervals with the regular discomfort, instead of bleeding almost constantly for weeks on end, with huge amounts of pain, only to be told nothing is wrong.
Finally, I may have an answer.
Totally TMI woman issue warning, men, avert your eyes, I warned you!!!!!!
So I have fallen, once again, into the incredibly irragular period cycle again. It's who whole nasty shebang this time.
After years of being brushed off, being told there is nohing wrong with me, and lord only knows what else, I finally have an appointment with a Dr who is going to try and help. It will be with a male,, wich is odd, as even though all of my babies were delivered by men, I gnerally prefere a female doctor for female issues. I do not mind, though, as apparently this guy is the House of MN odd gunecology issues. Quote one of the women on his team, there may not be anythin wrong with me, but there definately isn't anythign right, and they are going to figure it out.
11:15 on St patty's day, I get to have the first appointment and start figuring out what is going on. I am thrilled, a little aprehensive, but thrilled. Maybe, just maybe, i can get to a point where I only menstruate regular amounts at regular intervals with the regular discomfort, instead of bleeding almost constantly for weeks on end, with huge amounts of pain, only to be told nothing is wrong.
Finally, I may have an answer.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
hot
Thor and Buddha are feverish. they are both running about a 102 right now. They have had colds, and been generally icky for the last few days, but the fever, and Buddha's being lethargic came from no where at about dinner time.
We couldn't find our thermometer at all, so I had to drive up to the local store and buy one. Three guys, big burly, scary looking, guys saw what I had to purchase, and let me go in front of them. As I was leaving, one mentioned that sick babies had priority over babies who just needed daipers and jiuce. Never judge a book and all that.
In about an hour, I'll go and check them again. By then, if not asleep, they will be more relaxed, and the tylonal will have had a chance to work.
I hate it when any of my babies are sick, but two at once sucks.
We couldn't find our thermometer at all, so I had to drive up to the local store and buy one. Three guys, big burly, scary looking, guys saw what I had to purchase, and let me go in front of them. As I was leaving, one mentioned that sick babies had priority over babies who just needed daipers and jiuce. Never judge a book and all that.
In about an hour, I'll go and check them again. By then, if not asleep, they will be more relaxed, and the tylonal will have had a chance to work.
I hate it when any of my babies are sick, but two at once sucks.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
mental health, it's a good thing!
You know, as I get older, and have more on my plate, I really think that therapy is a good thing.
I have long felt that, though a useful and good tool for others, it just wasn't for me. I had nothing wrong, really! I also sometimes think that my general opinion of meds for everyone but me might be flawed.
I seem to suffer from superwoman syndrome. No matter how much I do in a day, or how well I do it, it's never enough for me. I often times take an "all or nothing" approach to things becasue of this, which ultimately results in nothing getting done. That's not good.
Yesterday, Hubby and Roomie cleaned the livingroom. Cleaned. Moved all the furniture out of the room and scrubbed, clean. I in turn, spent the first half of the day driving MIL to all of her doctor's appointments for her six week post op followup. She is doing fabulous. I then tackled the kitchen. It isn't CLEAN yet, but the dishes are done, the stove and counters have been scrubbed. I also got to thaw the pipes and drain for the shower, and clean that room, since it's been out of commision since saturday.
I kept telling myself that the dining/computer room and the bedroom needed to be clean. They weren't, the kitchen should have been more clean. The case in the living room was organized, but not clean. Hubby eventually forced me to sit down when I grabbed Roomie's empty dinner plate, from his hands in order to wash it. He was finished, and on his way to the kitchen sink, but not moving fast enough.
I am very pleased with how I did this term in school, of my two classes, I finished one with an overall 95.10 percent, and the other, harder class, with a 96.67 percent. I know that this is good, I know I should be happy, I am also beeting myself up for not doing better. I know I could have done better. Yes, they are A grades, but the could have been better A's!
I know I need to get these things under control, no matter what.
Add to this the funkiness I get a few times a year that I can only attribute to my Dad nad his families shittiness. Add to this something of a family history of mental health issues, add to this not sleeping well, being tired, beating myself up inside for not doing more, then not just doing something, etc.etc.etc. and maybe it's time I did something about it.
I realized that therapy scaresme. Talking to someone else about my issues, out loud, makes them real. I always try to be the strong one. I try to be the stable one, and admitting that I am not scares me. Hearing that I moght not be "all right" scares me.
Hubby and I have talked. he supports my decision to do this, and is actually encouraging me. He has sensed that things have not been %100 good with me for a while, and is glad that I started talking to him about it some, but he also knows that there are things from my past that I just don't feel like discussing with him, frankly. He is fine with that as well. After we get our tax returns, and I have an idea of how many hours a week I will be doing at my work from home job (I am retraining on my infomercial operator line), I will budget my mental health copays in, and make an appointment.
In some ways it sucks that I have to budget mental health, but then again, it's par with the course.
I have long felt that, though a useful and good tool for others, it just wasn't for me. I had nothing wrong, really! I also sometimes think that my general opinion of meds for everyone but me might be flawed.
I seem to suffer from superwoman syndrome. No matter how much I do in a day, or how well I do it, it's never enough for me. I often times take an "all or nothing" approach to things becasue of this, which ultimately results in nothing getting done. That's not good.
Yesterday, Hubby and Roomie cleaned the livingroom. Cleaned. Moved all the furniture out of the room and scrubbed, clean. I in turn, spent the first half of the day driving MIL to all of her doctor's appointments for her six week post op followup. She is doing fabulous. I then tackled the kitchen. It isn't CLEAN yet, but the dishes are done, the stove and counters have been scrubbed. I also got to thaw the pipes and drain for the shower, and clean that room, since it's been out of commision since saturday.
I kept telling myself that the dining/computer room and the bedroom needed to be clean. They weren't, the kitchen should have been more clean. The case in the living room was organized, but not clean. Hubby eventually forced me to sit down when I grabbed Roomie's empty dinner plate, from his hands in order to wash it. He was finished, and on his way to the kitchen sink, but not moving fast enough.
I am very pleased with how I did this term in school, of my two classes, I finished one with an overall 95.10 percent, and the other, harder class, with a 96.67 percent. I know that this is good, I know I should be happy, I am also beeting myself up for not doing better. I know I could have done better. Yes, they are A grades, but the could have been better A's!
I know I need to get these things under control, no matter what.
Add to this the funkiness I get a few times a year that I can only attribute to my Dad nad his families shittiness. Add to this something of a family history of mental health issues, add to this not sleeping well, being tired, beating myself up inside for not doing more, then not just doing something, etc.etc.etc. and maybe it's time I did something about it.
I realized that therapy scaresme. Talking to someone else about my issues, out loud, makes them real. I always try to be the strong one. I try to be the stable one, and admitting that I am not scares me. Hearing that I moght not be "all right" scares me.
Hubby and I have talked. he supports my decision to do this, and is actually encouraging me. He has sensed that things have not been %100 good with me for a while, and is glad that I started talking to him about it some, but he also knows that there are things from my past that I just don't feel like discussing with him, frankly. He is fine with that as well. After we get our tax returns, and I have an idea of how many hours a week I will be doing at my work from home job (I am retraining on my infomercial operator line), I will budget my mental health copays in, and make an appointment.
In some ways it sucks that I have to budget mental health, but then again, it's par with the course.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
rememberance, part 1
Just over 13 years ago, two brothers set fir to a duplex in Minneapolis, in the middle of the night. The resulting fire had flames shooting over three stories above the two-level home's roof. In the upstairs, was the home's owner, a friend of my dad's family, a bachelor, and his two dogs. In the basement, was pictures and memorabilia of my dad's family's life. In the main level, my aunt, and my grandma, and memories and relics from my grandfather, like his flag encased in a frame, with five bullets-a memory of his time in the service.
My Aunt had just gone into her room, at the back of the house, after making toast. My grandma had been in her room, in the center of the hosue, for a few hours, and was sound asleep. The fire was set at the front corner. The house was old, with wooden siding, wooden floors, a wooden framed front porch. the front porch had an old couch, an old wicker chair, and lamps, with old papaer and cloth shades. The other side of the front porch had piles of newspaper, ready to be brought to recycling the next day.
The fire spread quicvkly, for even though it was the winter, it had been very cold that year, and there wasn't much snow to act as a damper. My aunt recalls hearing a crackling noise, and smelling burnt toast. When she left her room, and entered the kitchen, the house was full of smoke. She panicked, she thought that the toaster had shorted, and set the house on fire. The house was on fire, but not due to the toaster, no, it was started by two people who had never met anyone who lived in the home.
My aunt was not able to get to my grandma. Someone outside the home saw the flames, and dialed 911. Emergency vehicles were on their way.
The man who lived upstairs was not home that night. His dogs, however, perished in the fire. They believe the smoke got to them before the flames. My aunt, sitting in a bus that arrived to offer shelter, had very bad frost bite on her toes.
The firefighters were able to enter the home, and get out my grandma. She was very badly burned. It was found at the hospital that she had third through fifth degree burns over 85% of her body. In some places, the burning was so bad, you could see charred bone. She was unconcious, at the time, they didn't know if it was from shock, or smoke inhalation. They were grateful for her unconciousness, however, and administered drigs in the way to the hospital to keep her that way. My aunt still though that the fire was caused by her making toast.
By the times the flames were put out, there was really nothing left. Because it was so cold, some of the items in the basement, like the pictures, were encased in ice from the hoses. There was water damage, and some are gone forever, but some still exist. The pictures of my grandfather, of my uncle who passed before I was born, and of my great gramma were all on the main level, and are gone forever.
At the hospital, my aunt found out that the fire was not her fault, that it was arson.
At the hospital, we found out that gramma had severe brain damage. That even if she survived the treatments for the burns, she would probably never function again, and if she did, she would be in constant pain, in a wheelchair, more than likely unable to communicate. Ultimately, the request to stop treatment, and to not allow lifesaving measures was made. We know she wouldn't want to live this way.
Thirteen years ago, on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, she was buried, in a closed coffin ceremony. I had never personally seen a funeral so large before. Everyone whose life she touched was there. MY mom, my aunt, her sister, and my maternal gramma were even there. At this point, my mom had been divorced from my dad for 14 years.
My aunt needed years of therapy. She needed to learn that it was not her fault. She needed to learn how to live on her own. It took almost 8 years before she could make toast, or smell burnt toast, without becoming physically ill.
Shortly after Hermes was born, the brothers who seet the fires finally had their day in court. It took six and a half years for the system to provide any sort of justice. It was found out that they had set fires before, It was found out that the older brother, shortly before burning my grandma's home, had set fire to the trailer where his ex girlfriend and toddler daughter lived. They were charged with the federal offense of arson in the first, and premeditated homicide. They argued that they didn't know anyone was in the home, but legally, if you set fire to a residence, it is believed that the assumption it is occupied is present.
withen the year following, well the six months following, the fire, is when I first lost contact with my dad. I do not know if it was truly a series of miscommunications, if it was the Step-mom's influence, or if losing his mom finally caused him to flake completely.
A month and a half after burying my paternam grandmother, my maternal gramma died in her sleep.
Every now and then, especially around this time of year, it still hurts. I still miss my paternal grandma deeply. I have no way of knowing what her lifespan shuld have been. I have no way of knowing if she would have lived to see her first biological grandsons, or what she would have thought of them.
I still miss her. I still love her. Occasionally, I drive past where the house was. It's a parking lot, now. Much of the old neighborhood has changed, but there are still some people, who if they see me, when I get out of the van, can peg me as being her granddaughter. They all make a point oftelling me how much she loved me, how proud sahe was of everything I did, and that she always knew I would grow up to do great things.
I wonder, if she is looking over me, sometimes. If she sees how smart her grandson's are. If she is disappointed in her son, for letting me go. If she knows that I crochet and knit, like she did, or if she knows that I can make her ham gravy, and goulash. Would she be proud?
My Aunt had just gone into her room, at the back of the house, after making toast. My grandma had been in her room, in the center of the hosue, for a few hours, and was sound asleep. The fire was set at the front corner. The house was old, with wooden siding, wooden floors, a wooden framed front porch. the front porch had an old couch, an old wicker chair, and lamps, with old papaer and cloth shades. The other side of the front porch had piles of newspaper, ready to be brought to recycling the next day.
The fire spread quicvkly, for even though it was the winter, it had been very cold that year, and there wasn't much snow to act as a damper. My aunt recalls hearing a crackling noise, and smelling burnt toast. When she left her room, and entered the kitchen, the house was full of smoke. She panicked, she thought that the toaster had shorted, and set the house on fire. The house was on fire, but not due to the toaster, no, it was started by two people who had never met anyone who lived in the home.
My aunt was not able to get to my grandma. Someone outside the home saw the flames, and dialed 911. Emergency vehicles were on their way.
The man who lived upstairs was not home that night. His dogs, however, perished in the fire. They believe the smoke got to them before the flames. My aunt, sitting in a bus that arrived to offer shelter, had very bad frost bite on her toes.
The firefighters were able to enter the home, and get out my grandma. She was very badly burned. It was found at the hospital that she had third through fifth degree burns over 85% of her body. In some places, the burning was so bad, you could see charred bone. She was unconcious, at the time, they didn't know if it was from shock, or smoke inhalation. They were grateful for her unconciousness, however, and administered drigs in the way to the hospital to keep her that way. My aunt still though that the fire was caused by her making toast.
By the times the flames were put out, there was really nothing left. Because it was so cold, some of the items in the basement, like the pictures, were encased in ice from the hoses. There was water damage, and some are gone forever, but some still exist. The pictures of my grandfather, of my uncle who passed before I was born, and of my great gramma were all on the main level, and are gone forever.
At the hospital, my aunt found out that the fire was not her fault, that it was arson.
At the hospital, we found out that gramma had severe brain damage. That even if she survived the treatments for the burns, she would probably never function again, and if she did, she would be in constant pain, in a wheelchair, more than likely unable to communicate. Ultimately, the request to stop treatment, and to not allow lifesaving measures was made. We know she wouldn't want to live this way.
Thirteen years ago, on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, she was buried, in a closed coffin ceremony. I had never personally seen a funeral so large before. Everyone whose life she touched was there. MY mom, my aunt, her sister, and my maternal gramma were even there. At this point, my mom had been divorced from my dad for 14 years.
My aunt needed years of therapy. She needed to learn that it was not her fault. She needed to learn how to live on her own. It took almost 8 years before she could make toast, or smell burnt toast, without becoming physically ill.
Shortly after Hermes was born, the brothers who seet the fires finally had their day in court. It took six and a half years for the system to provide any sort of justice. It was found out that they had set fires before, It was found out that the older brother, shortly before burning my grandma's home, had set fire to the trailer where his ex girlfriend and toddler daughter lived. They were charged with the federal offense of arson in the first, and premeditated homicide. They argued that they didn't know anyone was in the home, but legally, if you set fire to a residence, it is believed that the assumption it is occupied is present.
withen the year following, well the six months following, the fire, is when I first lost contact with my dad. I do not know if it was truly a series of miscommunications, if it was the Step-mom's influence, or if losing his mom finally caused him to flake completely.
A month and a half after burying my paternam grandmother, my maternal gramma died in her sleep.
Every now and then, especially around this time of year, it still hurts. I still miss my paternal grandma deeply. I have no way of knowing what her lifespan shuld have been. I have no way of knowing if she would have lived to see her first biological grandsons, or what she would have thought of them.
I still miss her. I still love her. Occasionally, I drive past where the house was. It's a parking lot, now. Much of the old neighborhood has changed, but there are still some people, who if they see me, when I get out of the van, can peg me as being her granddaughter. They all make a point oftelling me how much she loved me, how proud sahe was of everything I did, and that she always knew I would grow up to do great things.
I wonder, if she is looking over me, sometimes. If she sees how smart her grandson's are. If she is disappointed in her son, for letting me go. If she knows that I crochet and knit, like she did, or if she knows that I can make her ham gravy, and goulash. Would she be proud?
Friday, January 11, 2008
Hey Folks!
Greetings to my loyal readership, of which I could count on my fingers!
Seriously, I had my first weigh in after starting my Jenny Craig program, and I lost 5 pounds!! GRanted, it's my first week, and I will see a larger drop the first few weeks, most of which is water weight, but still, 5 pounds...80 ounces. Next time you are at the grocery store, pick up a 5 pound bag of fruit...I lost that.
Thor is starting to talk more, and mroe clearly, every day. Somehow, after we got his routine set again after christmas, it got all wonky on us. We are working on dealing with it, but it's really tough on me. Hubby has been home sick most of the week, thankfully he has sick time, and Thor and Buddha seem to have picked up his cold, which is going to make the whoe getting back to normal thing that much harder.
What is totally awesome, though, is that Thor is realizing that if he wants something, and asks for it by name, he is mroe likely to get it. It's awesome. At lunch I'll get "Momma, more ap-ploo Juicy-Juice...puh-le-ase? Yeas?"
When he is having his "quiet time" in his room I'll get "Momma, Iceh Age Mo-Veeee, puh-le-ase?Yeas?"
What is really cracking Hubby and I up is his tendancy to ask "Yes?" immediately after asking for something. It's like, in his mind, if hesays yes immediately after asking, we will say yes.
On the down side, with more talking and active communication, he is starting in with "No!" Not the drawn out no of the past, that could mean any number of things fron no, to yes, to oh, look, there's a butterfly on the window, but an actual, sharp, childlike 'no!'. Take the good with the bad.
Buddha, well, he's a little pick pocket. He can take something from you, while you are looking dead at him ,and you don't even realize. He is talking much more now. Apparently, he was one of those kids who waited till he could break out the full sentances. Apparently, he is also a teenage girl. The bulk of what he says currently is "I don't know", "I'm cute, yeah?", "I want it", and, my personal favorite, even though I try not to show it "Oh Shit! What was that!"
He also loves to make people laugh, and if you walk up to him and say "Buddha, monkey?" He will do an AWESOME monkey impersonation. He can also count to three, tell you who and what things are, and in general, is pretty much where he should bne for a kid who's 21 months old.
Hermes...Hermes, Hermes, Hermes, Hermes. He is smart. This is causing some issues. When he gets bored in school, because he already knows what their doing, and he finished his work, he talks. When I picked him up last night, after King Fu, I had a few mnutes to talk with his school director, think principal. She let me know that they've had a few problems with his talking this week,. They understand it's because he's, and I quote, "Much smarter than most kids his age, if not in the school", but she also let me know that his teacher is very smart as well, which is why Hermes is in her class. They are going to work more on coming up with things for him to do, and I am working with him more and the importance of not talking out of turn. I explained to him that when he is talking when he isn't supposed to, it makes it harder for other kids to learn. He doesn't want that, so he will work on it. We are also practicing being quiet when there is nothing to do at home. As long as he has something to work on, he is good, but it's getting hard to find busy work for him at school. They really don't want to have him skip a grade, yet, as he still needs to work on socialization, and he's already the youngest in his class (june birthday) and the shortest in his class...heck, alot of the kindergarten kids are bigger than he is.
His Kung Fu instructor let me know last night that Hermes is the smallest and youngest in his particular group, and that Hermes could take down any one of them. The kid is strong, and actually has really good control. Hubby and I are thinking that, come spring, we will start working on budgeting in the money to keep Hermes in Kung Fu over the summer, and maybe add a class outside of school during the school year. We do not want to overload him, but he enjoys it, and it is something we can use to help him behave. If he doesn't behave, no Kung Fu that week, outside of school.
Seriously, I had my first weigh in after starting my Jenny Craig program, and I lost 5 pounds!! GRanted, it's my first week, and I will see a larger drop the first few weeks, most of which is water weight, but still, 5 pounds...80 ounces. Next time you are at the grocery store, pick up a 5 pound bag of fruit...I lost that.
Thor is starting to talk more, and mroe clearly, every day. Somehow, after we got his routine set again after christmas, it got all wonky on us. We are working on dealing with it, but it's really tough on me. Hubby has been home sick most of the week, thankfully he has sick time, and Thor and Buddha seem to have picked up his cold, which is going to make the whoe getting back to normal thing that much harder.
What is totally awesome, though, is that Thor is realizing that if he wants something, and asks for it by name, he is mroe likely to get it. It's awesome. At lunch I'll get "Momma, more ap-ploo Juicy-Juice...puh-le-ase? Yeas?"
When he is having his "quiet time" in his room I'll get "Momma, Iceh Age Mo-Veeee, puh-le-ase?Yeas?"
What is really cracking Hubby and I up is his tendancy to ask "Yes?" immediately after asking for something. It's like, in his mind, if hesays yes immediately after asking, we will say yes.
On the down side, with more talking and active communication, he is starting in with "No!" Not the drawn out no of the past, that could mean any number of things fron no, to yes, to oh, look, there's a butterfly on the window, but an actual, sharp, childlike 'no!'. Take the good with the bad.
Buddha, well, he's a little pick pocket. He can take something from you, while you are looking dead at him ,and you don't even realize. He is talking much more now. Apparently, he was one of those kids who waited till he could break out the full sentances. Apparently, he is also a teenage girl. The bulk of what he says currently is "I don't know", "I'm cute, yeah?", "I want it", and, my personal favorite, even though I try not to show it "Oh Shit! What was that!"
He also loves to make people laugh, and if you walk up to him and say "Buddha, monkey?" He will do an AWESOME monkey impersonation. He can also count to three, tell you who and what things are, and in general, is pretty much where he should bne for a kid who's 21 months old.
Hermes...Hermes, Hermes, Hermes, Hermes. He is smart. This is causing some issues. When he gets bored in school, because he already knows what their doing, and he finished his work, he talks. When I picked him up last night, after King Fu, I had a few mnutes to talk with his school director, think principal. She let me know that they've had a few problems with his talking this week,. They understand it's because he's, and I quote, "Much smarter than most kids his age, if not in the school", but she also let me know that his teacher is very smart as well, which is why Hermes is in her class. They are going to work more on coming up with things for him to do, and I am working with him more and the importance of not talking out of turn. I explained to him that when he is talking when he isn't supposed to, it makes it harder for other kids to learn. He doesn't want that, so he will work on it. We are also practicing being quiet when there is nothing to do at home. As long as he has something to work on, he is good, but it's getting hard to find busy work for him at school. They really don't want to have him skip a grade, yet, as he still needs to work on socialization, and he's already the youngest in his class (june birthday) and the shortest in his class...heck, alot of the kindergarten kids are bigger than he is.
His Kung Fu instructor let me know last night that Hermes is the smallest and youngest in his particular group, and that Hermes could take down any one of them. The kid is strong, and actually has really good control. Hubby and I are thinking that, come spring, we will start working on budgeting in the money to keep Hermes in Kung Fu over the summer, and maybe add a class outside of school during the school year. We do not want to overload him, but he enjoys it, and it is something we can use to help him behave. If he doesn't behave, no Kung Fu that week, outside of school.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Happy new years, and all that
First, a very happy new years to my massive readership...my counts place you at maybe just into the double digits, w00t!!!
Tonight I have my first appointment with my Jenny Craig advisor, Melissa. We will not only weigh me, but get my body fat percentage (boo), discuss my weightloss goals, and get my menu for the first week or two. I am really excited about this. I was talking with a friend who is also in the weightloss study, and is in the Jenny Criag over the phone group, and after talking with her advisor, going over the amount of weight she has to lose (which is in the ballpark of mine) and everything else, she found out that it is possible to be at our goal weight come christmas next year. It would be amazing to be back where I belong for the major picture taking holiday of the year!
Tonight I have my first appointment with my Jenny Craig advisor, Melissa. We will not only weigh me, but get my body fat percentage (boo), discuss my weightloss goals, and get my menu for the first week or two. I am really excited about this. I was talking with a friend who is also in the weightloss study, and is in the Jenny Criag over the phone group, and after talking with her advisor, going over the amount of weight she has to lose (which is in the ballpark of mine) and everything else, she found out that it is possible to be at our goal weight come christmas next year. It would be amazing to be back where I belong for the major picture taking holiday of the year!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
This is me, doing a happy dance.
I started the process a little ways back of trying to qualify for a weightloss study. It is a really unique study, as it is a clinical, university sponsored study, but it is being backed by Jenny Craig. The studdy will unltimately involve 440 women over 4 states, some using Jenny, some with a nutritionist.
I just got the call letting me know that I am in!!!
I am so excited.
I will be in the group that does Jenny Craig with an actual advisor, in person, instead of over the phone.
TWO FREE YEARS of Jenny Craig for doing this study.
YAY!!!!!
Wish my luck. I will have a clinical every 6 months at the U, and I am going to have Hubby take some baseline before pics for me tonight, then I will have them done after every clinical. The pics are just fo my use, but I'm a very visual person, so for me, will better represent my change over pounds on the scale.
WOOT!!!!
I just got the call letting me know that I am in!!!
I am so excited.
I will be in the group that does Jenny Craig with an actual advisor, in person, instead of over the phone.
TWO FREE YEARS of Jenny Craig for doing this study.
YAY!!!!!
Wish my luck. I will have a clinical every 6 months at the U, and I am going to have Hubby take some baseline before pics for me tonight, then I will have them done after every clinical. The pics are just fo my use, but I'm a very visual person, so for me, will better represent my change over pounds on the scale.
WOOT!!!!
This is me, doing a happy dance.
I started the process a little ways back of trying to qualify for a weightloss study. It is a really unique study, as it is a clinical, university sponsored study, but it is being backed by Jenny Craig. The studdy will unltimately involve 440 women over 4 states, some using Jenny, some with a nutritionist.
I just got the call letting me know that I am in!!!
I am so excited.
I will be in the group that does Jenny Craig with an actual advisor, in person, instead of over the phone.
TWO FREE YEARS of Jenny Craig for doing this study.
YAY!!!!!
Wish my luck. I will have a clinical every 6 months at the U, and I am going to have Hubby take some baseline before pics for me tonight, then I will have them done after every clinical. The pics are just fo my use, but I'm a very visual person, so for me, will better represent my change over pounds on the scale.
WOOT!!!!
I just got the call letting me know that I am in!!!
I am so excited.
I will be in the group that does Jenny Craig with an actual advisor, in person, instead of over the phone.
TWO FREE YEARS of Jenny Craig for doing this study.
YAY!!!!!
Wish my luck. I will have a clinical every 6 months at the U, and I am going to have Hubby take some baseline before pics for me tonight, then I will have them done after every clinical. The pics are just fo my use, but I'm a very visual person, so for me, will better represent my change over pounds on the scale.
WOOT!!!!
Monday, December 10, 2007
This is me, not writing a paper
I have a paper due tomorrow in medical law and ethics. I have it roughed out, but I still need to write it. I cannot do that properly until I have my APA manual from the future SIL, in a few hours. I thought I would just write it, using my previous paper as a ghuide on what, and what not, to do, formatting and citation and reference wise. My professor did an awesome job of marking it up for me, and explained why I got the grade I did. (Queck aside, the difference between Hubby and I thinking wise-he thinks that a 89.64% is an awesome grade for my first ethics paper, I am pissed that I didn't do better.) All of this was before she put word out to the class that she graded our first papers leniently.
Yeah, she'll be grading this one harsher, and now panic has set in. I need to be perfect, damnit!
I am at a 96% or better in both of my classes right now, and I just feel that I can be doing soooo much better. Hubby teases me that I am not living up to my full potential by less than four per cent. He is only teasing, I need to make that clear. He is trying to point out how rediculous my need to be perfect is.
The worst part about this paper is that I know full well I could get an extensuion on it if I wished, since my MIL is having surgery tody. Instead, I will stay up late, working on it today, and proofing it tomorrow, so it can get turned in on time.
I am totally rediculous. I don't have this problem in my other class, just this one.
Also, I turned 29 yesterday...woohoo!
Yeah, she'll be grading this one harsher, and now panic has set in. I need to be perfect, damnit!
I am at a 96% or better in both of my classes right now, and I just feel that I can be doing soooo much better. Hubby teases me that I am not living up to my full potential by less than four per cent. He is only teasing, I need to make that clear. He is trying to point out how rediculous my need to be perfect is.
The worst part about this paper is that I know full well I could get an extensuion on it if I wished, since my MIL is having surgery tody. Instead, I will stay up late, working on it today, and proofing it tomorrow, so it can get turned in on time.
I am totally rediculous. I don't have this problem in my other class, just this one.
Also, I turned 29 yesterday...woohoo!
Monday, December 03, 2007
Frightening conclusion:
Either I am much smarter than I give myself credit for, or a cast majority of the populace is painfully stupid.
If I am actually smarter than I give myself credit for, okay...I can deal with this. It will probably make my schooling easier, and maybe I will find that, after a few years on the job, Iwant to further my education in the medical field. I don't want to work with actual patients, but there are a ton of jobs that deal with medical records, all of which I think would be interesting. There are also the opportunities, even in medical transcription, for research, to be published in journals, etc.
If, on the otherhand, other people are as stupid as it appears, by looking at my classes, and random discussions, I fear for society. I am thankful to have smart kids, to hopefully counteract the vast wave of stupidity that is trying to drag us down.
Is it so hard to come up with answers to people that are not "I agree/Disagree", or "You are wrong/right"? Why do you think that way. how do you know this, could you share your information with me?
Politics, don't just bitch, get involved. Don't like a referendum, get out there and find out why, how to change it, and vote against it...don't just sit and whine.
Cannot figure out why tort reform is a good thing? Have you actually looked into what needs to be proven or disproven to sue a doctor? Do you realize that it is virtually impossible to hold a medical assistant responsible for their actions, but instead, you can sue the doctor?
I am in an age bracket, and in a lifestyle bracket( stay-at-home, late twenty-something female, with kids) where it seems like the majority of my peers are more concerned about what others will think about their beliefs, actions, reactions than what their beliefs/reactions/actions actually mean. If I hear one more woman say that she is supporting or going to vote for ____ because that is what her husband says to do, I am going to scream. Don't do what your husband says is right, do what you think is right! Do your research. You tell me that Universal Healthcare is bad, why? Have you looked into what it means for you, your children, or are you just parrotting your man and your parents.
I am going to make a point of raising my kids to question things, to learn, to try and chnge things they think are wrong. We have been doing this since day one. We are not raising Anarchists, but maybe we are raising Revolutionairies!!!
If I am actually smarter than I give myself credit for, okay...I can deal with this. It will probably make my schooling easier, and maybe I will find that, after a few years on the job, Iwant to further my education in the medical field. I don't want to work with actual patients, but there are a ton of jobs that deal with medical records, all of which I think would be interesting. There are also the opportunities, even in medical transcription, for research, to be published in journals, etc.
If, on the otherhand, other people are as stupid as it appears, by looking at my classes, and random discussions, I fear for society. I am thankful to have smart kids, to hopefully counteract the vast wave of stupidity that is trying to drag us down.
Is it so hard to come up with answers to people that are not "I agree/Disagree", or "You are wrong/right"? Why do you think that way. how do you know this, could you share your information with me?
Politics, don't just bitch, get involved. Don't like a referendum, get out there and find out why, how to change it, and vote against it...don't just sit and whine.
Cannot figure out why tort reform is a good thing? Have you actually looked into what needs to be proven or disproven to sue a doctor? Do you realize that it is virtually impossible to hold a medical assistant responsible for their actions, but instead, you can sue the doctor?
I am in an age bracket, and in a lifestyle bracket( stay-at-home, late twenty-something female, with kids) where it seems like the majority of my peers are more concerned about what others will think about their beliefs, actions, reactions than what their beliefs/reactions/actions actually mean. If I hear one more woman say that she is supporting or going to vote for ____ because that is what her husband says to do, I am going to scream. Don't do what your husband says is right, do what you think is right! Do your research. You tell me that Universal Healthcare is bad, why? Have you looked into what it means for you, your children, or are you just parrotting your man and your parents.
I am going to make a point of raising my kids to question things, to learn, to try and chnge things they think are wrong. We have been doing this since day one. We are not raising Anarchists, but maybe we are raising Revolutionairies!!!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
why are all the stupid people in my classes?
Academic strategies-we are discussing critical thinking. The Prof asks us to define crtitical thinking without using the following words- thought, thinking, wondering, critical.
The first person to respond stated: Thinking about things all the way though.
Can we find the issue with that statement?
In Medical Law, Ethics and Bioethics, it took twenty minutes to explain to someone the difference between a summons and a subpeona. What so hard to understand about " A summons demands someone presence in front of a judge to stand as a defendant in a criminal or misdemeanor case. Failure to replyu will result in a default judgement against the defendant. A subpeona commands the presence of a person or document in front of a judge or grand jury in order to provide information in a case in order to support a claim made by the defendant or plaintiff. failure to appear could result in being fined, and held in contempt of court." They are different-Summons means you've been bad, subpeana means you have information. AAARRRGGHHH.
The first person to respond stated: Thinking about things all the way though.
Can we find the issue with that statement?
In Medical Law, Ethics and Bioethics, it took twenty minutes to explain to someone the difference between a summons and a subpeona. What so hard to understand about " A summons demands someone presence in front of a judge to stand as a defendant in a criminal or misdemeanor case. Failure to replyu will result in a default judgement against the defendant. A subpeona commands the presence of a person or document in front of a judge or grand jury in order to provide information in a case in order to support a claim made by the defendant or plaintiff. failure to appear could result in being fined, and held in contempt of court." They are different-Summons means you've been bad, subpeana means you have information. AAARRRGGHHH.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Well, that was certainly an adult way to present your case...not!!!!
We were having a very civil discussion on a board I frequent. The discussion was about children on the autism spectrum and church services.
Thor, as you all know, lives somewhere near the happy, somewhat normal, end of the spectrum. Just odd enough to be on the spectrum, just normal enough to not be considered autistic by parents with severely, like Rhett's syndrome, autistic children.
This civil conversation is where a parent of a severely autistic boy decided to anounce that she felt that autism was the new "fad" diagnoses, like ADD was in the 90's. She also went on to say that the issues with high functioning kids, like mine and many other parents involved in the discussion, were sufferring from bad parents who wanted to lable their kids instead of own up to being lazy.
Oh yes, she went there.
I am the first to admit my laziness. I am the first to question my parenting skills. I have also spent litterally hundreds of hours sitting in various and sundry doctors offices while they tested Thor, watching them try and tell me that it could very well get worse as he gets older, that we do not know what is wrong, that he is freakishly strong, so many of the techniques for calming and coping won't work.
I am the one who went with him to class twice a week for 4 months, trying to make him socialize.
I am the one who is always wondering if he is getting better, getting worse, if it's my fault, etc.
I fully understadn that she has it harder than I do, in the behaviour from a special needs kid department, but just because I have it 'easier' does not mean that there isn't a problem, does not mean that it ismy fault, and does not mean that her words didn't hurt like effing hell.
Thor is doing awesome, by the way. He is talking more daily, and almost playing with other kids that are not related to him. Unfortunately, as this is happenning, we are getting more meltdowns, less eye contact, and more stimming and hand flapping. No one ccan tell me what, if anythign this means, and all I can do is hope for the best.
Thor, as you all know, lives somewhere near the happy, somewhat normal, end of the spectrum. Just odd enough to be on the spectrum, just normal enough to not be considered autistic by parents with severely, like Rhett's syndrome, autistic children.
This civil conversation is where a parent of a severely autistic boy decided to anounce that she felt that autism was the new "fad" diagnoses, like ADD was in the 90's. She also went on to say that the issues with high functioning kids, like mine and many other parents involved in the discussion, were sufferring from bad parents who wanted to lable their kids instead of own up to being lazy.
Oh yes, she went there.
I am the first to admit my laziness. I am the first to question my parenting skills. I have also spent litterally hundreds of hours sitting in various and sundry doctors offices while they tested Thor, watching them try and tell me that it could very well get worse as he gets older, that we do not know what is wrong, that he is freakishly strong, so many of the techniques for calming and coping won't work.
I am the one who went with him to class twice a week for 4 months, trying to make him socialize.
I am the one who is always wondering if he is getting better, getting worse, if it's my fault, etc.
I fully understadn that she has it harder than I do, in the behaviour from a special needs kid department, but just because I have it 'easier' does not mean that there isn't a problem, does not mean that it ismy fault, and does not mean that her words didn't hurt like effing hell.
Thor is doing awesome, by the way. He is talking more daily, and almost playing with other kids that are not related to him. Unfortunately, as this is happenning, we are getting more meltdowns, less eye contact, and more stimming and hand flapping. No one ccan tell me what, if anythign this means, and all I can do is hope for the best.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
conferences
We had Hermes' conference this morning. It went rather well. His teacher gave us the bad-he needs to work on fine motor skills, he needs to talk less out of turn- both of which we already knew. She requested that we work with him more on his responding in Mandarin in classroom discussions. We will talk to him about it, and remind him that it is OK to get words wrong, that his teachers will help him. We know he has an exceptional understanding of the language, and his pronounciation is spot on.
The one thing she really wanted to realy was that he is smart. Very smart. Smart smart.
In her broken english she explained that Hermes is a good student to build on, education wise. He aced his "hard all in chinese math test", and she is excited to teach him. She also said that he would probably go on to get his PH.D no problem.
Yay, smart kid. We know what to work with him on, and where to encourage him, and he loves science!
The one thing she really wanted to realy was that he is smart. Very smart. Smart smart.
In her broken english she explained that Hermes is a good student to build on, education wise. He aced his "hard all in chinese math test", and she is excited to teach him. She also said that he would probably go on to get his PH.D no problem.
Yay, smart kid. We know what to work with him on, and where to encourage him, and he loves science!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
doin' fine
Well, peoples, I am three weeks into my school, and currently holding up pretty well.
I am holding a perfect score in my Med law and bioethics class, and one point shy of perfect in my Accademic strategies for the medical professional class. I lost a friggen point to formatting in discussion posts =(
I plan on doing my most to keep my grades as high as possible, throughout my schooling career. I figure as long as I am smart about time management, and starting in on essays with enough time to have them proofed before they are turned in, I'm all good. Luckilly my future sister in law is a TA for a writing class, and has had to do all of her 4 years of papers in the APA format. She will proof my work for me, if I ask, and be brutally honest, wich I need.
The weight is slowly coming off, and I might be in a UofM weightloss study, which would be pretty awesome. I have almost finished shaking the resp. infection, and shouldn't need another round of antibiotics. After the new year, when we are under the new insurance plan for huuby's job, I am also going to bo looking into braces, for me...the new dental policy covers a large chunk of adult orthodontia, rending two refferrals, and I have had random dentists tell me I need braces, so that shouldn't be a problem. I'll probably wait till the spring, when Hubby will have tons o' overtime again, so it won't hit our current budget.
The Pantheon is doing awesome, and we have sonferences for Hermes in the morning...I'll keep you loyal readers posted.
I am holding a perfect score in my Med law and bioethics class, and one point shy of perfect in my Accademic strategies for the medical professional class. I lost a friggen point to formatting in discussion posts =(
I plan on doing my most to keep my grades as high as possible, throughout my schooling career. I figure as long as I am smart about time management, and starting in on essays with enough time to have them proofed before they are turned in, I'm all good. Luckilly my future sister in law is a TA for a writing class, and has had to do all of her 4 years of papers in the APA format. She will proof my work for me, if I ask, and be brutally honest, wich I need.
The weight is slowly coming off, and I might be in a UofM weightloss study, which would be pretty awesome. I have almost finished shaking the resp. infection, and shouldn't need another round of antibiotics. After the new year, when we are under the new insurance plan for huuby's job, I am also going to bo looking into braces, for me...the new dental policy covers a large chunk of adult orthodontia, rending two refferrals, and I have had random dentists tell me I need braces, so that shouldn't be a problem. I'll probably wait till the spring, when Hubby will have tons o' overtime again, so it won't hit our current budget.
The Pantheon is doing awesome, and we have sonferences for Hermes in the morning...I'll keep you loyal readers posted.
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