That is one damn proud momma

Ihave a friend. Ok,Ihave a lot of friends, but I have one friend in particular who referred to herself for YEARS as a big girl. Recently, she started calling herself fat. Even more recently, she started calling herself fat without wincing or cringing. Anywho-FatFriend, who laughingly and happily gave me permission to call her that here, phoned me earlier to relay the following story.
FatFriend's son, SkinnyBoy is 10. That is a hard age. Cliques start to solidify, boys and girls start really noticing each other as that is the age that "The Changes" start.
SkinnyBoy is a tall, lanky, beanpole. He takes after his dad, SkinnyMan. SkinnyBoy was playing with his best friend and 10 year old love interest at recess. The other boys started teasing, as the girl is fat.
Yeah, these 10 year old boys are already calling a 10 year old girl fat. I have feelings on this that will be a whole other post, but been there, dealt with that will suffice for now.
The following day was show and tell.
Skinny boy asked for a photo of his mom. She had SkinnyDad take one and print it out.
The teacher called shortly after show and tell.
She wanted to make sure FatFriend understood what an amazing son she had.
For show and tell, SkinnyBoy proudly displayed the picture ofhis mom. He proudly announced "This is my mom. She is the smartest person I know. She is nice, kind, an excellent mom. Sheisalsothe most beautiful person I know. Prettier than (cannot recall the actress) She is fat. She is prettier because of that."

tear
happy tear

I am a bad, bad, not fat enough fattie!

Boggles the mind, doesn't it?

So here's the run down.
I am fat.
I just recently hit the under 200 pounds mark. After the birth of Loki is was roughly 270.
I only accepted my fatness recently. This is not to say that I did not know I was fat, as that's obvious to me, but that I have only recently become comfy with it.
I have been part of the FA and HEAS movements for a while, but honestly, it was only about half a year ago, give or take, that I decided that it was OK for me to be fat, too.

Funny, this, after trying to loos weight for a really long time, I have dropped about 20 pounds in the last six months.

BUT- and I want to say this, I am not losing weight based on any social pressure, I have been trying, for the last year, to reduce my risk for diabetes, as I am borderline prediabetic, to make me knees hurt less, and to help with the wonky blood sugar issues that come from being borderline prediabetic with a high metabolism all of a sudden, and really low bloodpressure.

I was in class on monday, drinking a diet soda, as I have a non diet soda maybe once on a month, and then it's a high end designer soda that is made in small batched in a tiny town in wisconsin. Seriously.
So, I am drinking diet soda, doing accounting examples, munching on chips, and talking to Nanny, a woman in my class, about what FA and HEAS and feminist blogs I like to read, and she likes to read.
Another girl in my class interupted this conversation to announce that I was a bad fattie. At first I thought maybe my chip eating bothered her, as food, to some people, is a moral thing.
Nope!
I am a bad fattie because I am actively trying to lose weight.

Yeah.......

Heres the thing, the weight I want to get down to, still makes me technically fat.
2 the weight I am losing is for medical reasons, and not like before the hysterectomy, Oh, if you lose weight it will get better, even though the issue has nothing to do with weight, medical reasons, honest to Maude medical reasons.
I exersice because I like the feeling of moving my body. More specifically, I walk, as I like the way my brain is when I walk, I dance, as I love to dance, and I meditate and do psuedo yoga, to help my anxiety. I am not exersicing to meet an impossible ideal.
Nanny and I are both in the size 14/26 range now, wich kind of makes us inbetweenies in fatland. The girl who interrupted is a size 6. I bring this up, only as I was chastised by a skinny girl for being a bad fattie for getting thinner.

The mind, it whirls.

Add to this conversation, Nanny and I were met with her response, after noticing our slack jawed wonder at what she had said, that the girl would not have said anything about it, but her boyfriend's brother's girlfriend's sister is fat, and part of the FA movement, and she hates being told she needs to lose weight.

Serisouly
She essentially told us that she has no problems with fatties, as a friend of a firend is fat, but that I am doing it wrong.

I really think that next monday, I may just sit down in class and eat a big cookie and a chocolate shake with extra whipped cream while taking me test just to see if she says anything, but I won't.

it's really much more prevalant than you know

I saw my therapist last night. Super Doc gave me a few assignments. I need to take time for my anti-anxiety technique exersizes, I need to write a list of definite issues to work on, and I need to call any number of other SuperDocs to schedule my screening for clinical depression and discuss treatment options

I'll keep my dear readers posted.

Because Snuffy is HAWT

I have a head cold. I sould like snuffleupagus, you know, Big Birds best friend from Sesame Street who started out imaginary but then, one day, everyone could see him? Yeah, I sould like a less depressed version of Snuffy right now, which is totes awesome, as we all know how hott Snuffy was.
The head cold is pissing me off, as I am at this wierd place of ickyness- not so icky that I cannot function, but just icky enough that I really don't want to do anything. I cannot focus nor concentrate on any one thing for any amount of time, which is really not helping me do my homework, or keep the kids entertained. Woot.

Posting from accounting...hehehe, I made a geeky pun

So, I am sitting in week two of Principles of Accounting I, writing in my blog. Why here, why now? Well, that is a many part answer. First, we are going over our homework questions from last week, and I already have that shit down. Second, well, I have more privacy here in class than at home. Third, it's quieter than at home.
Let me explain. Hubby, the boys and I are currently living with the in-laws again. Joy of joys. Between finances, and the property inspector letting us know that the wee tiny house is a wash, structurally, we are now bedding down with MIL and FIL. It is tighter than I would like, spacewise, and it is way more frustrating thatn I would like, spacewise, but the boys are happy and it will give Hubby and I a chance to get back on track financially. It's also easing some of my concerns about being back in school.

I am starting therapy again this weel. It's needed. my mental health is not what it should be. I just really want to be happy and healthy again, and I don't htink I am really either ofthose right now.

Basically,, just wanted to fill everyone in. Thor turns 5 tomorrow. Loki is awesome and so funny, he will tell you so, Hermes is still smart, still a smart ass. Hubby got laid off, is looking for new employ, and I started school again. Living with the in-laws, trying to not be miserable.

we now return you to your blahblahblah...

So, yeah, regularposting fail!
Essentially, we are all alive and well.
we are all busy
we are all crazy
and eventually, I will give this here little blog the attention it deserves.

once again, it's been a long time

I really am sorry for neglecting you all, dear readers. I have had a shit-ton to deal with lately, and sometimes, I appear to be the only one dealing wiht it, if that makes any sense.
In housewifeland news, The Troll Who Oives Under The Stairs moved out. He is now living wiht his girlfriend and her mom. I am pleased, as it's about time he started doing things for himself. Are they moving a little fast? yes, but I think it's gonna work out just fine for those crazy kids.

Hermes starts school back up in just over two weeks. He'll be a third grader!!
Loki is more a monkey than ever, and is really pushing the boundaries to just how much cute can keep one out of trouble
Thor. Well, henestly, he is backsliding. When the innitial diagnoses of PDD-NOS came in, almost three years ago, now, we were informed by the good doctor that things could stabalize, get better, or 'get worse', worse being Thor starting to slide towards the more 'typically autistic' end of the spectrum. That slow slide is apparently starting to happen. This is, understandably, taking a lot of my time and patience to deal with.

Hubby, well, he is Hubby.

More later, when I can take 5 minutes to organize my thoughts better.

Thomas and Percy tried to kill me.

After having the week from hell, seriously, and begining an epix battle with Xcel energy, Thomas and Percy tried to kill me.
Some backstory, if you will-
Everything was out of sorts this week. Hermes, Thor and Loki were being rabid spider monkeys, everything was having to be rescheduled, and I could not get ahold of anybody.
Wednesday, I fell and jacked up my bad ankle, and my right writst and shoulder. I tripped over the dog on the way to answer the phone, the phonecall in question turned out to be from a telemarketer.
Wednesday evening, I burned the bacon for dinner while I was in the bathroom, so instead of having Carbanara for diner, I had creamy parmesan, garlic butter noodles.
Thursday, Xcel cut my electric. They did this twenty minutes after I contancted an agency to help with the bill. We were doing OK, but then a charge appeared on our account, saying it was the unpaid portion of the bill from a location we lived in before we bought the house, you know, the house we have lived in for over two years.

Thanks to the love, support, and generosity of someone who cares about the boys greatly, we got our electric back on friday.
Friday, I walked up to the boys room to get something, and fell on two train cars, Thomas and Percy- I once again jacked up my bad leg/ankle, bruised my back, both hips, the right ass cheek, and have a bruise on my right forearm that will be really impressive when it fully develops, as it's an ex, my arm came down on one stair, and then I turned before it came down on the next. Last night, when you could see the redness fom the second fall, and the bruise coming up from the first, it made a relly nifty chevron.

When we thought our power wouldn't be on til Monday, we went to the inlaws, got some groceries, and what not.
Thankfully, the inlaws are more than willing to not only have us over for dinner tonight nad tomorrow, but to cook as well. Hubby made breakfast this morning, and tomorrow morning, he will assist in Big Sunday Breakie.
I am falling apart.

On the plus side, I was able to keep my school appointment I had last night, and everything is looking aces for me to start at my new college in he fall. Their program is awesome, I can take all of my classes in classroom if I need to, they have a private child-care assistance fund, so I could take daytime classes, and have the younger two in childcare, AND, AND, this is HUGE immediately after graduating with my BS in accounting, I will have the requirements to sit for my CPA, if I choose. Wow!

Special places in hell

This post is not referring to the special place in hell for Mal, although, it is a good one, no, this is referring to the special, extra painful, slow torture portions of hell that I hope are reserved for parents who intentially leave thier small children locked inside of hot vehicles.
The weather right now is rediculously hot- 95 ferenhiet with high fucking humidity. EArlier today there was a mom who left her infant twins in her van for HOURS. You just don't do that shit, people. I will eventually type more about this after I have calmed down some, but suffice to say, I am pissed, hella pissed. I hit the gas station before getting Hubby from work, I knew I would be inside for less than five minutes, and STILL I unbuckled Thor, and brought him in with me, why? It was FUCKING HOT OUT!

Today, at the gas station...

I live in a colorful area where people have colorful language.
At the gas station today, I got to witness/hear the following
Older teen girl with fuscia hair, purple tank top, green and black mini skirt, and red, knee high high heeled boots, talking to an older man with a blue mohawk in standard biker wear

"Don't you go on looking at me like I am a freak! I got me an aducation and a good job just so I could look however I damn well chose! I don't see you doing anyhting with your time mr smurf-head"
dude: "I was just checking out the taillight on my bike!"
"sure, they always say that they looking at something other than me, but I KNOW it's always me"
dude:"this is why paranoid people shouldn't dye their hair, now I'm gonna be late to see my accountant."

This exchange cracked me up for two reasons, one, blue hair dude WAS looking at the tailight on his beautiful bike, two, having had interesting hair and clothing styles in the past, it is fairly rediculous for one to believe that NO ONE will look if you have 'unique" hair and clothing choices- he was not ogling, or being rude, if he was looking at her, it wasn't noticable.

road block to the potty

Thor has apparently decided that using the potty just isn't worth his time. Loki is using it more and more every day, Thor, in turn, is using it less, regardless of the type of pant he is in. I cannot get him to tell me why. It is really frustrating.
For a few weeks, it seemed like Thor and Loki had synchronized potty breaks, leading to me saying, more than once, don't pee on your brother, I don't know what changed, but something ddid, and if I don't figure it out, I'm gonna be rather fed up soon.

Update on Hermes

Hermes is doing much better. He is still feverish, but it has stabalized and is hanging out around the 101.4 range. He still has some abdominal pain, but no throat pain yet, which is very odd. Even though he technically has strep throat, it is affentin his tummy, intestins, and what not- pain wise. The plus side, is that he still has an appetite, he is still thirsty, and he is able to eat and drink which will help vastly with recovery. The down side is that if he does experience throat pain, he will feel it after he is no longer contagious, and will just have to deal with it.

Tomorrow qill be interesting, as it has the most petential for everything on him hurtung, part of why he will be home all day tomorrow, too. Hubby is home today, helpin with the kids, making it so I can actually got some stuff done. I have managed to do a bunch of laundry, some dishes, reclaim the loveseat, and Hubby pulled the garbage from the boys rooms. Joy. It isn't even one today, so I will be able to hopefully finish off the dishes, and get more laundry done, ,maybe some general straightening too. My goal is to have the kitchen CLEAN clean by tomorrow night, although now that I set a goal for it to be done, it will more than likely be sometime next week.

total WTF moment for the medical professionals

Today, I spent a few hours in the ER with Hermes. He was presenting with symptoms that were tet book appendicitis. The surgeon who was gonna make the call on remiving it before or after they had him admitted to an actual room got waylaid on the way to us. In the 30 minutes that passed, Hermes started to hurt less- generally not something that happens unless the appendix goes boom, which is bad. While we were waiting to see if he got worse again, the nurse decided to run a throat culture, as she has heard that in really rare cases, savagely bad cases of Strep can present with appendicitis like symptoms, and no sore throat whatsoever.
Yep, the nurses random idea proved to be correct, unless Hermes is the once in a million lifetime cases of someone having strep and having the appendix rupture in the time that they are waiting to be seen further.
We have to monitor him closely for the next day for any more appendix-y symptoms, monitor for Strep complications, and keep him home for TWO days instead of one, as this is a massive fuck-all case of Strep from DOOM!!!

Mom, I would have called you if he actually went under the knife- I didn't want to worry you needlessly on your vacation, so unless they were putting him under, I wasn't gonna call.

yeah, it's been a month

So it's been a hwile since I last posted. As always, there is a lot going on. Between the kids, the school, the hubby, and everything else I just feel so swamped all the time.

Once again, I am gonna attempt to start posting a bit more regularly.
At this exact moment, I need to run, but I will post again sooner rather than later.

yet another washing machine psa

A while back, I made reference to Kix cereal, or maybe Cheerios, and what they do to washers and dryers.
Today, folks, I have another important washer and dryer message, one that is more important than cereal.
If you know, or suspect, that your preschool aged children have gotten into a box of instant mashed potato flakes, and you are doing the laundry from their room, shake out their clothing and bedding before putting it in the wash. Hit it with a vacuum or shop-vac even. After this, there will still be dehydrated potato on the items you will be putting in the wash.
Make sure you use COLD water, not hot, as hot water reconstitutes the potatoes rather quickly. I would also suggest that you wash them twice before putting them in the dryer.
If you do not heed my warning, you will pull clothing and bedding out of the dryer that has small, hardened, potato pancake like items all over them. You will then have to sit down with a butter knife or spoon removing said potato product from said items.

Not a way to spend an evening or morning.

That is all, carry on.

really, one defunct body part isn't enough?

So, a long, long time ago, in a city far away, well, on foot, at least, I was diagnosed with achille's tendonitis, and platar's fasciitis. What this essentially means is that my left foot is totally fucked.

For a decent amount of the time, it's tolerable. I amalmost alwaysin some small amount of pain, but it's negligable. Sometimes, it's worse, Ineed abrace for my ankle and foot, occasionaly I will need a cane or crutches. On rare occasions, it does what it is doing now. The pain comes out of no where. The ankle and foot will be fine one moment, and then,, in an instant, it will be in incredible, searing, agonizing, acute, pain.

Nothing is helping, not heat, not cold, not over the counter painkillers. I really don't want to take a vicodin, but I willif I need to, and pray that it helps.
I cannot focus, I cannot consentrate, I can barely function. I am so glad that I have other adultsin the house right now, to deal with the kids.

Loki is Three!

Today, the babiest of my babies, Loki, is three eyars old.
Three years ago today, I was sitting in the hospital, awaiting induction, and getting a bolus of meds, as I was actually possitive for Strep-B even though my chart said I wasn't, oh, until the last page, that is.
Sistah-Girl was there when Loki was born, in fact, she cut the cord. She also took many a picture with me looking beautiful and all new momma glow, even though I was exhausted.

Loki- Years from now, you may read this, or may not. If you do, I want you to know that you are a phenomal kid. I know that because of your older brothers, you may not always get the attention you deserve, but i do the best I can. You are amazing with Thor, and you routinely steal Hermes' toys. I love you so much, baby. You may be a rabid spider monkey, but you are MY rabid spider monkey, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

PSA

April is national autism awareness month. I have been 'informed' of this by too many people to count in hte last six days.Seriously, do you walk up to a black dude in February and go "Hey, did you know it's black history month?"Do people walk up to women with children on mother's day and go "Hey, did you know it's mother's day today?"Do people look at you on your birthday and go "Oh, by the way, today is your birthday, just so you know, maybe you might want to do something, being as how it's the day you were born and all" and be serious about it? I have a child on the autism spectrum, I am totally aware that it is Autism Awareness Month. Even if I didn't remember, any one of the websites or organizations or societies that deal with Autism that I belong to would have reminded me.I honestly appreciate the sentiment, I do, and I know it's your way of saying that you care about me and the boys, but still, I know, stop reminding me that there is a month devoted to the awareness of something that I HAVE to be aware of every second, of every minute, of every day.

Geek side taking over

So tonight if the first day of the spring term at school. This is also y first day of Accounting 1- the first of many core classes required for me to get my bachelors in accounting. I am like, 8 million sorts of giddy over this, It's nuts. I don't know when the last time was that I was this anticipatory/nervous/anxious about something.

the in-laws have invaded facebook

My inlaws are now on facebook, both of them.
Facebook as we know it is now over.
my MIL is horrid when it comes to sending on every friggen 'cute' or 'funny' email she gets, I can only imagine what it will be like once she gets around to all the FB apps. She hasn't friended me yet, but it will happen soon enough.
Sigh.