disconnected

Currenly we are without cable and internet at home. MIL was nice enough to offer me the use of her house for the day today, so that I could be online, and so Bigguy could be on-line and get in some tv time. This is greatly helping me keep my last three threads of sanity intact.

Blink Blink Smile.

I cannot remember what he asked for, even though it was only half an hour ago, I only remember HOW he asked. "Mom, can I please have some ______, pretty please?" head tilted slightly down, looking up, blinking just a little faster than normal, with a very sweet smile. Bigguy has ENORMOUS brown eyes, and lashes that should be illegal for anyone off a fashion runway, let alone a five year old boy. I, as a fully grown adult, who had perfected the power of the eyes at a fairly young age, am overcome at times by him, and can only imagine what it will be like as he gets older. If he retains his looks as he hits his teen years and adulthood he will be devestating. I pitty the crushes who do not have their affections returned. We already have little girls get mad if he ignores them, which he rarely does, and we have almost had fights break out at the park if he switches his attentions from one young lady to the other. High school is going to be hell for his father and I. Of course, if I am to listen to the drag queen contingent of my friends, he could have a lucrative career when he grows up. Apparently, underneath the pudgy cheeks he inheritied from yours truely, he has amazing cheek bones, and since he has my eyes, it is only fitting that he has my brow and ridgeline.

Blink, Blink, Smile...never underestimate the power.

He Speaks!

Littleman is what one would call a 'late bloomer'. He was walking and standing late, and talking late. In fact, he did pretty much everything behind the curve with the exception of eating! I tried not to worry too much about this, every kid being different and all, but was secretly very relieved when he started using intelligable words. It started recently with 'button!', and of course, mama, and papa. From there we got hungry, go home, good puppy, nice puppy, up, go nap, go up, go down, pretty much any word that can have go before it, baby, brother, baby "buddha", kiss, and so on. We are getting more words a day now than I ahd hoped. One issue, however, is assigning words that are confusing or un-clear. If we cannot figure out what he is trying to say, he either melts down, or reverts to 'button!'. This leads to conversations along the lines of "Hungry" -well, what do you want?- "ungamillahrmmmmmmm", -milk?- "noooooooooooo", -cereal- "nooooooooo" -a banana?- "nooooooo, hungry button!", or "good puppy, go button!", or "go nap, button!" you get the idea. We also get randomly placed words, like "nap now, doggy woof."

surrogate

Shortly before the Bigguy's fifth birthday, the in-laws had to put the family dog to sleep. They have another dog, but Buddy was Bigguy's best-friend on four legs. It was very hard on Bigguy, and very hard on us. First, we loved buddy, he was family, second, no one should EVER have to explain mortality to a small child. We have been fielding some dificult questions since then, and doing our best to answer honestly and truthfully, even if that means answering the dreaded "I don't know." In an attempt to lessen Bigguy's pain, and make things easier on os, one of his birthday gifts from us was a stuffed black-lab puppy he named 'Buddy Poe'. Bigguy has a collection of stuffed Rotts and Dobermans, which are his Poe dogs, and they all have assigned names and tittles in the Poe family, Buddy is the only Lab. Having the stuffed dog has done wonders, but has also led to some interesting conversations along the lines of:"Momma, I don't ever want you to die, and I don't want to die, but you said everyone dies eventually, I want you to die before me so I can have a new mommy." "Do you want a new Mommy?" "Only if you die first, then I will need a new mommy, just like I got a new buddy!"
Kids, what ya gonna do?

the daily grind

I wish there was an honest, informative, and truthfull, Housewife Handbook, but there isn't. Why? Because, quite frankly, there are too many variables: How many kids you have, what your income level is, the amount of support you get from family and friends, your kids' ages and the spacing between them, you get the idea. Some things I knew in advance about being a housewife/stay at home mom- I would be the Primary Care Giver-thet being I would be the one to first respond to me kids daily needs, generally even if Hubby is home, as they are used to coming to me for things. I would be responsible for the majority of the cooking and cleaning- In all the jobs hubby has had while we have been together, he averages 50 hours a week, so the cooking is pretty obvious, I do the daily pick-up, and he does his share on the weekends. When he wasn't working, and when I was pregnant, this didn't work so well, but now we are getting back into the swing of things. I love to cook, I do not like to clean, but oh well. I was failry certain that I would crave adult interaction the way some woman crave salt and chocolate when they PMS-I was dead on with that one.

I never thought that I would feel as good about my decicion to stay home as I do. I know I am doing the best by my kids, and I have few regrets. Would it be nice to have a second income? Yes, but it would suck knowing that I came across it by paying for daycare or sacrificing time with my Hubby. Would I have gotten a job if it took any longer for Hubby to find one? Hell yeah, I'm an optimist, but I am not stupid, and I will do my best to make sure my kids never go without.

I never realized that I would be doing the budgeting and bill-paying, but for the most part I am pretty decent at it. I set the amount we must live within, and we do it. I never dreamed that I would be so thrilled about my youngest having a bowel movement, my middle child saying button, or my oldest being quiet for five freaking minutes. I didn't think that it was possible for a woman to stay sane with three kids at home, two of whom are in daipers, but I seem to be holding up pretty well. I didn't realize how much it would fundamentally change me as a person. As much as I miss late night outs drinking overly-priced coffee and chillin' with friends, that time seems trivial to me now. I enjoy my child fre time, but I miss them every second of it. I enjoy doing things without my Hubby, but I wonder how he' doing every minute. I am heavily reliant on my family, but they would fall apart with out me.

I am also keenly aware that my family is my Hubby and boys first. That is another feeling I never expected. That family would be more than Mom, SisterGirl, and Auntie. They are all part of my family, as is Jazz-dad and uncle Rice, and Auntie Step, and the in-laws, but I have a family that is mine, seperate rom all the rest. I also couldn't have told you before I became HW@K that I would voluntarilly sever all ties with my dad and his family. It hurst, but it hurts less than if I stayed involved, and it saves my boys dealing with what I did.

If I were to write a simple Housewife Training Manual, it actually would be very simple-set all preconcieved notions behind you, try to enjoy every minute, and never be afraid to ask for help. No one would buy it, but there it is.

If cleanliness is Godliness...

...Than I am most certainly a minor demon!

To Do List

Things to do today:
Clean out van
Pull trash from in house
Dishes
Laundry, especially the boy's
Plan dinner menu for a few days
Remember to eat lunch
Be on the lookout for giant invading space aliens
Check black market value for reasonably well behaved, precocious, smart-ass, 5 year old children
Excersise
Clean out coat closet

Daiper Chronicles, part...who knows

Littleman is 20 months old, and, quite frankly, doesn't have the speaking skils that he should. I am aware of this, and I am frustrated by this. Frustrated not so much because I think there is a developmental problem, as by the fact that I think he is doing it on purpose, to make me frustrated. How does this tie in to daipers? Simple. He doesn't like to wear them, and has figured out how to remove them under almost any sort of clothing. Pants get taken off, onesies are stretchy and hav leg holes, overalls have an opening you can fit a hand down, and we have yet to figure out how he does it through a sleeper. He doesn't do this daily, mind you, we went about a week with him keeping the daiper on, he just did it FIVE TIMES in FIVE HOURS today. I asked a friend for suggestions and she pointed out that the removal of ones daiper is often considered a sign for potti-training readiness. Well DUH, I knew that, but since he won't speak intelligsbly, how the hell does she propose we go about training him? We cannot leave the bathroom door open, he splashes in the toilet, and he still sleeps in a crib, so would have to wear a daiper at night-hid favorite time to remove them!!!
AAAARRRGGHHHHH!!!!

questions and answers

bigguy is still at that age where he questions everything...I don't think there will ever be a time in his life where he isn't that age! Here is a sampling on the questions I have gotten so far today:
Mommy, can you get (instert web name here) into my computer?

Mom, can I have a jelly sandwich? no peanut butter, just jelly? seriously...just jelly?

Mommy, are you ever going to have another baby?

Why? Why? why? Whyyyy? (these asked mostly to annoy, not out of any innate desire to learn)

How come all the other cars are prettier than ours?

and the one that blew my mind, and made me realize that it's never too soon to teach them tact
Mommy, when are you going to lose more weight? Your tummy is big!

Too cute by half!

WARNING:this post opens with a discussion about my breasts-it is not all about the boobs though.

I have an injury to one of my nipples. It is a casualty of breastfeeding. I let it get a little too severe, so until it fully heals, Buddha is being nursed off of one side only. So as not to cut down on milk production, and to make sure Buddha has enough to eat, AND to make sure that when I wean him he won't starve himself by refusing a bottle, I have been pumping on the injured side, and storing the milk. I was sitting on the couch and feeding Buddha a bottle after nursing, and Littleman is sitting next to us. OK, Littleman is bouncing and climbing next to us, but he sat occasionally. Littleman pats Buddha's head, then leans down and kisses Buddha's head. It was too, too cute. We had to call Littleman's affections off, though, because he was getting a little too carried away, and came very close to hurting the babe. Littleman was upset, but he decided it was OK when he got a sippy of milk.

It's good to know he cares.

Birthday Part E

Today is my Bigguys 5th birthday. Had he taken three more minutes to be born, it would have been tomorrow, but today, the first chold I ever had turns 5. Makes me feel kinda old, also reminds me that hubby and I have been together roughly six years now.

As Bigguy likes to say, today is his birthday, tomorrow is his birthday part E

you take the good, you take the bad

Today was Hubby's first day of work at his new job. Dropping him off this morning was similar to a childs first day of school - making sure he had his linch and phone, scanning the lot to see if the coworkers look like they'll get along with him, waiting a few extra minutes before pulling out...just in case. I was actually surprised at how smoothly everything went this morning. The kids were all up about three hours earlier than normal, Littleman his having his entire daily routine revamped, Buddha seems unfazed by it all, and Bigguy, well....
Last night we got the call from the in-laws that Buddy-the older of their two dogs, and Bigguy's favorite furry companion, was going to be taken to the vets and put to sleep. No parent should have to explain mortality to their small children. God it was heartwrenching. If given the choice, we all would have waited, as Bro-in-law turns 21 today, and Bigguy turns 5 on friday, but it was the dogs time to go. Bigguy seems to be okay for a little while, then not so okay for a little while. We have a picture of him and Buddy taken last night before Buddy had to ge, and that is helping a little. We are being very honest with Bigguy, and making sure he knows that it is OK to hurt, be sad, cry, and miss Buddy. It's okay to be angry, and it is also OK to never want to die. Like I said...so hard.
Right now, he is requesting a peanutbutter jelly sandwich...duty calls....
HOUSEWIFE AWAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WooHoo!!!

We heard today that pending the results of tomorrows drug test, Hubby has a job. We are very happy.
My sister came over for dinner today. It's always fun when she's around Bigguy, being they are each others favorite people...EVER. Bigguy flat out denied asking me if my boob got cold, bossed her around while they played ship, and generally hammed it up. My sister enjoyed her meal of steak, steakfries, and asparagus(sic?), and understood my joke about the "Renegade Cow", something Hubby never quite found funny, because he never quite understood.

Mooo

How many days?

Bigguy is turning 5 in ten days. I know this because a) I am his mom and distinctly remember giving nirth to him, and b) because every day for the last 3 weeks I have been getting "Momma, how many days 'til my birthday?" at least 5 times a day. I also get asked how many days until he starts school, and how many days until we go to Mexico.

Just in case you're wondering...I don't know about school-they haven't set a specific kindergarten start date yet...and it's 143 days till Mexico

Mammaries

I breastfeed. At just over two months of age, baby Buddha has only had a bottle in his mouth once, at four days old, at the behest of a doctor, and then it was pumped hind-milk. (Hind-milk is the fatty milk that comes at the end of the feeding be"hind" the other milk-it helped him with some infant constipation...I know...TMI) My flagrant breast-feeding exposes Bigguy to alot of boob. He generally ignores it, unless Hubby is trying to take a business related cal and then prospective interviewer hears "Hey Mom! Does your boob ever get cold doing that?" I can only imagine what this is doing for Hubby's job hunting prospects.

fit vs fat...today the fat might win

I am working on getting in shape, and that is more than just phisically, btw. I have been working on keeping my house cleaner-the secret-have a routine and don't waiver, one missed day can through everything off, then your back at ground zero, frustrated, and the couch starts to look too good. I have also been exersicing regularly for the last week(just shy of), but honestly, I didn't last night. Bigguy and Buddha had immunizations, I overslept, and just diddn't feel up to it. Today, I know i need to work out, but I am cramping something fierce, and, in the immortal words of small children everywhere- "I don't wannnnaaaa". I will. Then I will shower. Then I will eat ibuprofin like candy. If I don't, the couch will trap me with it's siren song, and I will be helplessly ensnared by it's soft cushions and pillows of comfiness. Must get up....fat trying to win....need to....move

OMG!!!!

Quite possibly one of the funniest things...ever.

sleep

Currently,the only people awake in Housewifeland are myself and Littleman. Buddha baby and Hubby are napping in our room, and Bigguy is still sleeping. Littleman has been up and at full steam since 7ish this morning, and that's after waking up at 4am, right after I startednursing, needing to be changed. (hubby changed the daiper, btw, and had problems getting back to sleep, hence why he's napping, and not me) Part of me, a very large part of me, knows that I should be waking Bigguy up right now, that to let him sleep past 9 is to mess up his entire schedule and routine, and that he won't be able to sleep in this late once he starts school. Then, the part of me that was dealing with the 4 year old who never sleeps realized that it doesn't seem to matter what I try to do, if he's gonna be up half the night, he's gonna, and moreover, he stays in his room and plays quietly orlooks at books, so Hey..maybe a little extra sleep might actually be a good thing.


In reality, I am letting them all sleep so I can have a few moments of relative peace and quiet.

Still here

I've been busy lately, I am still here. Littleman is walking like a pro, Bigguy is the king of junior subversives, and buddha baby is fussing.

beef stupor

Mmmmmm...Steak. We visited Sam's Club this weekend, and, as always, left with a ton of food for a reasonable price. We always stock up on red meat at Sam's, good quality, fabulous price. After living a steak free existance for a while, Hubby grilled tonight. Dinner was heaven. Bigguy, in his insistance to refer to all meat products as the animal they came from, cracked us up when he asked for "Cow sauce" to go with his steak. Steak, Brocolli Normandy(broc, cauliflower, and "bias cut" carrots, for those who don't know) and my awesome oven-baked and broiled steak fries. MmmmmMmmmm, and since it's basement-dwelling-roommies birthday tomorrow, we will even have desert...Life is good

If ya ask, I might even give you my awesome steak fry recipe!