The yellow zone is for loading and unloading only.

Attention, Attention! Would whom ever parked their sinus infection semi in my nose please remove it immediately. It is illegally parked, blocking major passages, and the owner of the nose would like to breathe again...thank you.

sometimes, things are just too good.

The last few drives to pick the Hubby up from work have been somewhat miserable. The younger two members of the Pantheon- Loki and Thor, have benn agitated in he car, to put it mildly- there nap schedule is off kilter. Thor does not physiclly need naps anymore, but he does mentally, and Loki, well, if he is sleeping, he is generally staying out of trouble. Add to this two hellacious colds, and they are miserable.

Tonight, however, was almost too good in the car. I believe I have mentioned before that Thor loves him some Gwe Staffani- her song Sweet Escape (the one with the woohoo yeehoo refrain) was on the radio, and he started singing, as he is wont to do Loki decided that it was his job to rock out, and picked up the woohoo yeehoo for Thor. Shortly thereafter, Bowie comes on- Changes. I had both boys singing along before too long. They had fun rockin' out with their mom- no fussing, and Thor got to be vocal for a while. It was good.

feelings about the campaign, and those nominated.

Sarah Palin scares the ever lovin' shit out of me. Something about her instills a fear into me that is almost primal. Maybe, it was her asertation that the Iraq war was a task from God, maybe, it is her political and environmental beliefs, and how fervent she is in them. Maybe, it's that she is anti-abortion/anti-birthcontrol and pro abstinence only education. It could be that the day after making a major speech at the RNC, decrying borkbarrel spending, a middleof the road news orginization did some fact checking nd found how much pork barrelling went on between her and McCain.

I don't know why, but she frightens me. On the oddly plus side, she is frightening alot of midline, undecided voters, and even some republican voters to the point that Obama and Biden's numbers are climbing, their fundraising is jumping, and people want to vote for them JUSt to keep Palin out of the white house.

first day of school, success!

Yesterday was Hermes' first day of school. It went really well, no time outs, no warnings. I think that is a great way to start the year.
Of course, this morning, we are getting the story about how he doesn't feel good. Why doesn't he feel good? Because he stayed up way too late last night, no matter what we said or did, we could not get him to behave, lay down, and sleep.
I woke his but up anyways, got him dressed (in long pants, long sleeve polo, and hoodie, if you can believe it! It's barely broken sixty yet today!) fed him breakfast, and by the time we had to leave for the bus, he was fine. I definately need to tow the line harder this year on trying to get him on a schedule. Instead of getting mad and snippy with him this morning, although I was mad, I explained when he was tired and icky feeling that the reason he felt this way waa BECAUSE he stayed up too late, not listening. His tummy hurt because he didn't sleep enough, and it is always going to be like that. I know, because if I don't get enough sleep, I feel like crap too I explained that we tell him to go to bed early, not to punish him, but to make sure that he gets enough sleep, so he doesn't get sick, and miss a lot of school. I also explained how much school he COULD miss before we had to go to the doctor each and every time he was home sick. I may have fudged on that one a little, but he understands.

Back to the good stuff, Hermes' bestest friend in the whole wide world rides the school bus with him. Most kids sit three to a seat, because there are three seatbelts per seat( yay a bus with belts!) but their seat only has two buckles, so they don't have to share.

Yeah, he's silly, but he is happy, and loves school, and maybe understands why we are so hard on him at bedtime.

In other school news, I had the damndest time not laughing myself to death while filling out his English teachers 'about your kid' survey. Poor thing doesn't know what she is getting into.

In even better news, Hubby got a job, and starts on either Thurs or Monday. Normally, we would be all over the two extra days of pay starting on Thurs would give, but at the same time, there will still be some RNC traffic, so Mon will be easier.

Welcome to the Palace of Learning, have a fortune cookie.

Hermes' schoo, The Palace of Learning (TPL), had their informational, back to school, night tonight. Hermes and I hopped in the car, srove to school, and were faced with total chaos! Almost all of the students were there, with at least one parent, sometimes more, and some siblings! Sooo many people.
Things we (or I) learned:
1. Bridgit, the froont office, general admin for the school was looking for our reduced lunch form. She hadn't seen them when going through the paperwork, and was pleased when I hand delivered it. One benefit of a small school, they remember who is hurting financially.
2. Betsy let me know that she already has Hermes scheduled for an evel with the new speech and language pathologist/therapist. She is bilingual from childhood Mandarin/English- how perfect is that. Betsy also verified that Hermes' Mandarin was flawless, but his English is mushy. Once again, a small school means they remember issues.
3. We need to get a Drs note about Hermes spider allergy so they can give him Benadryl at school if he is bit. If we do not get a Drs note, they will just call me each bite- there were three spider bites reported in the entire school last year, none were Hermes.
4. The bus will run on emergency release days, so I won't have to pick him up if the weather sucks.
5. EVERYONE loves Hermes. Everyone. I did not see one person who was not genuinely enthused to see him.

I kno have about a week to figure out which after school enrichment activities he will be in. We have a partial list, will get the full pamphlet with cost and set dates next week. The downfall to enrichment activites is that he cannot bus home, the upswing- it is cheaper than outside of school classes.

Something wicked this way comes.

Slwoly, the atmosphere in my neighborhood and the surrounding areas is changing. People are becoming grumpier, trying to figure out how the hell they will be able to get from point A to point B. People are rescheduling long standing plans, stocking up on groceries so they won't have to go out, and all other manner of strange.

What is causing this element on anger, paranoia, and what have you?

Republicans.

The Republican National Convention is being held about 5 miles from my house. My in-laws live about 7 miles from my house. Because of the convention, if I want to drive to their house while the convention proper is scheduled, I will have to go a total of 20 miles OUT OF MY WAY!
I cannot drive the road that takes me from my house to their house, directly. I cannot drive on the road that will take me to half the places I go.

This is nuts. People are pissed, and there is not anything we can do about it except get out thee, march, and make our voices heard.

I don't want the RNC in my town, but moreover, I don't want another Republican in the white house.
Do your part- be heard, capmaign, protest, and get ready to vote.

as long as I have them...

I woke up miserably early this morning. OK, 7:30 isn't all that miserable, but when you were unable to fall asleep until after 4, it sucks. I was alternating between periods of insomnia, hot flashes (have had none for two weeks, was hoping it was it) and painful twinges predicting a kidney stone. I feel like shit- absolute shit. If I am getting a kidney stone, I have water, painkillers, and a hubby who has been there and done that multiple times over. More than likely, I can avoid the doctor, and thus avoid spending money we don't have, just to have someone tell me to drink water, take painkillers, and rest. The only time that a kidney stone warrants a Dr visit is if you are in extreme pain, and need someone to give you drugs, or if the dang things get stuck somewhere, and need help breaking down, getting out. In the last case, trust me, you know you need to see a Dr, now, and no amount of being stoic, or broke, for that matter, will stop you.

Anywho- it is ass early, I feel like shit, so I do the reasonable thing- paying bills, budgeting, etc... Yeah, nothing makes you feel better than trying to sit down and figure out a budget when you are broke. Three kids eat a lot, drink a lot of milk, and so on. We are managing, but I honestly have no clue where we would be right now if not for friends and family. I am facing, point blank, that life sucks, early in the morning, in pain, and feeling rather pitious. I am trying not to cry, as even though I know everything should be all right, it doesn't feel all right at the moment. In short, I was three seconds away from becoming one hot mess.

I figured I had some time to pull my shit together, and not freek anyone out, as I am The Strong One in the family/house and the kids do not handle me anything other than mom-like well. That is when I hear it, the pitter pat of little feet, and the thuddathuddathudda of little feet that are now jumping on the upstairs wood floor.
OK, Housewife- time to pull it together-go and get the kids.
Ahh, a moment of foresite cuts through the pain and pity- if I make their breakfast before I bring them downstairs, the morning will run smoother (insert laugh track here). I pop two waffles into the toaster (and God be praised the grocery store that has toaster waffles in their weekly specials for cheep when money is tight!) go upstairs, and am met at the bedroom door with...
Two angelic, beaming, faces. two little boys who are so happy to see me thay shout out Momma! Good Morning Momma, Love you Momma, and reach up for hugs and kisses.

Currently, Thor and Loki are sitting at the table, eating toaster waffles and drinking milk. Hermes is at a sleepover with his bestest friend.
Thor and Loki do not know how much their not caring that I look like crap, not caring that I am barely keeping shit together, not caring about anything other than that their Momma got them out of bed this morning made my day.

As long as I have them, Thor, Loki, and Hermes (who even though he isn't here, makes my day better, fustrating, but better, every day) I am OK. As long as I have them, I can see that I did something right, something good, and see that I have something to work for.
I may be in debt now, but I will get out of it. I may not have a great job now, but I am changing majors, restarting school this winter, and in a few years I will.
Life may suck for me at the moment, and I still do my best to hide from everyone, including Hubby, that it hits me as hard as it does, but for them, the boys, they don't care. They have what they need, and they are fine. They love me if I feed them generic peanutbutter and jelly on store brand bread just as much as if I feed them Uncrustables, by SMuckers. They don't care that their clothes are from thrift shops, orthe clearance rack at wallmart, that I compulsively clp coupons, that Ramen is cheap, and if I add chicken and veggies, almost healthy, about any of that, they just want to see their Momma in the morning, cuddle before breakfast, play before quiet time, and get a bed time story at night.
If I still have them, it is fine.

Maybe you had to have been there

I am going to relay a story now. This may be one of those things where you had to have been there, but for those who know Thor, and how he moves and says things, maybe not.

Hubby's cousin was visiting fro The Land of Mormon AKA Utah. Cousin was with her boufriend, the same boyfriend she has had for over 4 years. The same boyfriend she has had since she was 14. The boyfriend who moved to freakin Utah for her! Have we mentioned that her boyfriend is one of the greatest guys ever, because he is.

Thor wakes up after they have been here for a bit. Loki (formerly Buddha) wakes up at about the same time. They come screaming down the stares, see Cousin and Boyfriend, and start being shy.
"Thor" I said," Say hi to Cousin!"
"Oh, Hai Cuzzin" says Thor in that LOLcat way of his.
"Thor, can you give Cousin a hug?"
"Oh, no thanks" says he. It was so nonchalant. We all just cracked up.
A few minutes later "Thor, can you give Boyfriend a hug?" and without saying anything, he runs up and hugs Boyfriend.
a few minutes later "Loki, can you say hi to Cousin and Boyfriend?"
he does.
"Can you give Cousin a hug?"
and Loki runs up and hugs....Boyfriend.

We thought this was hugely funny.

morbid senses of humor, and support.

The Troll Who Lives under Our Stairs, or Friend, lost his mom last noght. She had lung cancer, and pnumonia, brought on by the cancer. She went at home, with her family by her side, which is what she wanted.
Friend is doing as well as could be expected, and is actually thankful for my morbid sense of humor, as it has helped him laugh.
She is being cremated, and wanted each of her kids to have a little bit of her, if they were OK wit that. I commented that he could still bring his dates home to meet his mom, and he cracked up. We went on like this for about fifteen minutes or so, and he said after that he was very thankful, as with the exception of Hubby and I, many people are treating him like a fragile flower at the moment.
He is hurting, but he also had time to plan for this. Thankfully, he does have support, both friends and family, but if anyone wants to have an extra thought or two for him over the next week, it couldn't hurt.

He's not 'normal' and that is OK.

The mother in law has spent an aweful lot of time with Thor over the summer. first, at the beginning of June, a road trip to Utah. In July, we spent four or five days with her, and then, she took ass three boys for a weekend so we could get down and CLEAN, and then, she just had the older two this weekend in Duluth.
A lot of time spent with a three year old, for sure.
A lot of good has come from this, he is more potty trained at this point than I had ever hoped he would be, he is comfy traveling in the car for long distances, he has seen a lot of great things. One of the downfalls of this is that she still insists that there is nothing really wrong with him, and he will grow out of it.

This is really frustrating on a couple of levels. First, wether or not he will magically grow out of the autism spectrim, and his sensory issues, he is dealing with them now. Second, there is a very real possibility that he will never grow out of it, third, there is a small chance that it could get worse.

Yes, I love when people treat him like a normal kid, but he has some things that make him not nomral. This means that, occasionally, you cannot treat him like an ormal kid. You have to take the time to differentiate between a meltdown and a tantrum before disciplining him, for example. You also have to ask any and every multiple choice question as many times as there are answers, changing the answers each time, so that each answer is last at least once. Why? Because often time, due to echolalia, he will repeat the last word or words he heard. You cannot ask him "Thor, would you like Orange Juice?" as he will generally say "Orange juice" you have to ask "Thor, would you like orange juice? Yes or no? No orange jioce or yes orange juice?" and so on. THis takes a long time, but it also prevents you from becoming upset because you aksed him what he wanted, he told you, and now he won't do anything with it.
Sometimes, even if you do give him what he actually wants, it will be wrong. Understanding is needed that when something is wrong, nothing will make it right.

I hape every day that he is able to lead a fairly normal life, while preparing for the fact that he may not. It would really make her life easier, and mine, if she would do the same, otherwise, I don't know what will happen if he doesn't 'snap out of it' at 7 or 12. I don't know how she will handle it.

Also, she really needs ot stop giving me parenting advice. I know what sort of mom she was, and seriously, her advice is not anything I will really listen to.



Off topic- There may be some name changes in the blog. As Buddha gets older, we realize that Loki may be a better moniker.

Bewarned- removal of your uterus is falling prey to the "patriacharl overplan" Dunh dun DUNHHHH!!!

Pardon the exceptionally long post title, but you will see where it fits in a minute.

As all of my values (10 ) readers know, I had a hysterectomy just over a month ago.
As many of you know, I think of myself as a feminist. Not a spelling women womyn, men are evil, we rule the world, sort of feminist, more of the woman's right to chose, women should be treated the same, we rule the world sort of feminist.

I raise my boys to respect women. I choose to do this by being a stay at home/work from home mom. Partly, this choice was made for me, because DAMN, daycare is expensive! Mostly, though, I made the choice when we only had one, and I was lucky enough to be in a position to take care of him. I would rather raise my own kids. I would like to take this moment to make clear that this is not a mommy-drive-by. Women who choose to work, choose to daycare their kids, choose to stand naked in front of the statue of liberty, all made their choice- it was theirs to make, and there are pros and cons to each one. Women who choose to daycare their kids are no better or worse of mom's than I am, and women, like my own mom, who had thei kids in day care because they were busting their asses working, going to school,m being a single parent with little to no help, they deserve to be cannonized.

Anywho, there is a group of women who believe, and more over a group of men who believe there is a group of women who believe, if you follow me, that the world is run by a Patriarchy- Men rule the world, everything that happ-ens is because of men, and we should fight it at every turn. The unfortunate thing about htis is that the few women who actually believe this cannot agree on how to stop it. I digress.

A woman who believes this recently told me- TOLD ME, that my hysterectomy was playing into the patriarchal overplan. I didn't even know there was a patriarchal overplan. Apparently, I didn't get my wicked-crazy feminist newsletter this month.
I asked how in the world taking out an organ that was doing me not only no good, but great harm, was falling prey to 'The Man!".

Apparently, it was not really diseased (amazing that someone who has never met me in person, who has never read my pathology, seen the imaging, or dealt with the (I shit you not) month and a half of bleeding, with no days off, and cramps that needed prescription grade narcotics to make tolerable, was able to know this). No! It was removed to 'dewomanize me' because the uterus is what makes you a woman.

I asked about transgendered peoples- they are women, they have no uterus. They are women in their souls, apparently.

So, to get this straight- if you were not born with a uterus, your soul makes you a woman. If you WERE born with a pear sized and shaped organ, you are only a woman as long as you have it. Gotcha!

She went on that it was removed to 'shackle me' to their way of thinking, that women are objects, they can do as they please with us, and we allow it.

AHA! I have no more uterus- therefore-I don't count...right?
Nope!

Finally, I was told it was wrong for me to be a stay at home mom, as I was not showing my boys what a strong, working, woman looks like. Nevermind that both their grandmas, all their aunts, and many other females they are in contact with regularly, work, I am not.

When I pointed out that since the DEFUNCT organ was removed, I cannot have anymore kids, so I will be able to not only afford to work out of the house sooner, as the number requiring daycare will dwindle- I will have fewer painful periods, allowing me to work out of the house- I was told I was wrong! As and pay attention folks if I start working outside fo the house now, I will prove to my boys that the patriarchy is in control of my life!
Yeah, I cannot figure it out, either.

I am amazed I wasn't chided for only having boys (as has happened before, by the way.)

So, the patriarchal overplan- watch out for it, becaue apparently, it is everywhere.

Batch of cookies to anyone who can explain this one to me...seriously.

weary

I am still felling pretty good, but I am bone tired right now, and I cannot sleep. It could be the two hours, yea TWO hours I spent getting Buddha to sleep, and making sure he didn't wake up Thor. It could be the body letting itself relax after the bath that I took earlier, it could be that I am so ready to go home after spending a few days at the mother-in-laws. Whatever it is, I wish it would either go away or let me sleep.

Add to it the total hormonal rollercoaster I am on right now. I know it's temporary, but there is a small prt of me that fears that my ovaries arent' going to reboot, and that I'll be thrown into surgical menopause at 29 Su re, there are far worse things that could happen, but A) it isn't rather high in my list of good things, and B) the hormone surges are making me blow everything out of proportion right now. Seriously, I am amazed that the cartoonish men in white coats with the person sized butterfly nets haven't shown up yet.

2 weeks post op

Tomorrow, around 8 am makes 2 weeks without an uterus. I feel better than I have in a long time, even though I am still sore, and I really, really, need to do a better job of not overdoing it. I feel fine atthe time, but a few hours to the next day, it really messes me up. I am making sure that I am not lifting anything too heavy, and I am not pushing or pulling anything I shouldn't, but I am just doing too much of the stuff I have been cleared to do.

Even though I kept my ovaries, their blood supply will be choked off some for a little while, so I am having some unique experiences. I have been having hot flashes, which sucks donkey, I go back and fourth between periods of insomnia and total lethargy/falling asleep at the drop of a hat, and even though my hair looks awesome, and my fqacial hair is less pronounced, I have been breaking out some over the last few days. All of this should even out in a month or so as my ovaries realize they can function on their own. The pathology was back by mu post op check up - the images of the overies are looking great, and the cervix is really healthy, but I did have adenomyoma- which in an odd way is nice- it means that we were right, and having the hysterectomy was the right thing to do. Honestly, I am %95 percent fine with the decision, there are times when I get a little sad or depressed about it, as it is a major change, but it's the right thing to do, and heck, at 29, I'll never have another period again. I could wear white pants with impunity if I so chose- no interrupted vacations, no period bloat, none of that. On the scky side- since I kept the ovaries, I may still PMS, have cravings, moodswings, and the like, but I think it's a fair trade.

Right now I ma at my mother-in-law's house. my father in law is on vacatio0n until thursday, so it's just her, her dog, and the two yappers she is dog sitting for the friend who is camping with h\the FIL. Since she has more room than us, and has central air, we will be here until at least wednesday. It feels wierd staying here when we have our own perfectly gooed house, but I totaqlly need the help post op, the boys are happy to see her, and tuesday, when it should be in the nineties, the central air will be nice.
The troll who lives under our stairs will be looking after our cat and dog in our absence, and he will definately enjoy having some time to himself. Word came down from the powers on high that the tumor in his mom's lung is now beyond treating, so he knows that she has two months ,at the most, so he needs some time alone to assimilate the changes, and help out his family, and to finaly let some of his emotiions out.

Well, time to loie down again, as the laptop is still more comfy to use than a standard computer, buit I tire really easilly now, and will for a few more weeks, so signing off- Later!

Blog Tour!!!

Being I have not been posting the way I shouldh ave been for the blog tour, and being I picked this weeks post topic- I present to you, on time and everything- What Foods Taste Like Their Color!

Bluefrost gatorade tastes blue- I cannot explain why, but if you ask me what blue taste likes, it's that.
Tomatoes- ripe garden tomatoes- must be garden or farmers market- are what organic red tastes like- Tropical punch koolaid is artificial red.

I have yet to find anything, other than wheatgrass juice, that tastes green, and I do not really wish to try.

I was rather disturbed by a piece of fruit the other day, as it was orange in color, but tasted yellow...still working on that.

I have always wondered if I was the only one who assigned colors to tastes. I know there is a ...somthing, I don't want to say disorder...neural quirk, maybe? that assigns tastes to visiual things, as well as smell to sounds, and vice versa- but this isn't it. It isn't that I look at blue, and taste anything, it's just that blue has a definative taste.

I do know that for Thor, words have flavor, as do colors. If something is too bright for him, it tastes spicy, for some reason, and we have to give him something to drink. He has also said that his soft blanket makes his mouth taste like vanila pudding.

Blog Tour!!!

whole lot of things

So, first- head on over to fatrant.com - Joy Nash has posted her third fatrant video- and once again, all us 'bigger girls' out there thank her.

Second- I have been having issues posting lately- actual tech issues. I have made blogger aware of my various and sundry errors as they come up, but it isn't entirely my fault that we've been dead overhere.

Third- I will be out of the loop for a bit. I go in on the 30th to have the faulty uterus removed, so I will mroe than likely not be posting for a bit, what with the hospital and the drugs and all.

fathers' day

Today, I would like to honor my husband, my step-dad, and my father in law.
My father in law was not a great dad to his own kids, but he is trying really hard to be one heck of a good grandpa, and a good father in law. He routinely takes time out of his own life to help us with something around the house, or to help out when I have been recovering from issues related to my uterus.
Hubby- he did not have a dad growing up. When he was 18, he spent two years taking cre of his ailing grandfather, who was sufferring dementia. Hubby does his best by Hermes, Thor, and Buddha- he can admit that he isn't the greatest dad ever, but he is trying, and does more every day.

JazzCat- my step-dad. At 16/17 years of age, he showed me what a father should be. Loving unconditionally, raising and accepting, he not only rasied his two children well, he accepted me and my sister, with our myriad of faults. I did many things in ly mate teens that I know hurt my mom, and him. He has never heald it over my head, treated me badly, or showed anyhting but love and concern for me. He took a messed up teenager and showed her what fatherly love was, when her own biological father was using the love of a father as a bargaiing tool, something to be taken away when she did not behave to his standards.
Thank you to all of them, thank you to JazzCat, and thank you to mom, for being a dad to sistahgirl and I for many years.

I miss reading you

I was thinking earlier about some of the blogs that I have loved, and how much I miss reading them.
My sister has had some awesome blogness in her day, but I don't htink she blogs publicly anymore,and that is fine.
I have had some other good friends leave the world of blogging, either because they left the mortal coil, they left the internet, or they just grew out of it.

Sometimes, It is hard for me to post here, so I can understand why they all went, but I still miss reading them, even when I can talk tothem every day if I wanted to, there is something nice about reading them.

I will work on posting more.
I have been getting some things figured out, as my brain isn't always working the way I think it should, and I have been having much internal monologue readfying myself for when the Dr calls me and tells me that it's time to schedule the hysterectomy. It is almost certain at this point that I will be uterus free by christmas, maybe even before next school year starts for Hermes, and it's a lot on top of everythign else.

sometimes, it's just hectic

I had a friend ask me recently how I was doing, and the only answer I could give her was "Sometimes, it's just hectic".

That's about it for now.

Breath in, hold, now breath out...doesn't that feel better?

First, to my blogroll groups, both fiction and non-sorry that I totally flaked on the last assignments, sometimes life just cannot help but get in the way, and blogging was scary, 'cause I didn't know what would actually come out my fingers.
The older that Buddha gets, the more I realize how far behind Thor is. THen, there are days like yesterday, where everything in the world is wrong with Thor, and I don't know what it is, and I don't know how to make it better for him, because I don't know how he sees the world, and it just kills me inside that I cannot make him feel better. NOte, I did not say make him better, As long as he is healthy, I see nothing wrong with how his world is, as frustrating as it can be, I just wish I knew how he felt things, saw things, heard things, so I could help. He also has started having major abandonment issues whenever he sees anyone leave...anyone, could bethe UPS guy, for all he seems to care.
Buddha is starting to hide how well he talks, how well he does things, etc...I know it's normal behaviour, but it's frustrating.
Hermes is acting out in school some, ebcause he is bored off his ass, and we just cannot keep up with him.
Hubby is alternating between being really helpful, and not being really helpful, which is driving me nuts, I just want some consistancy.
I have no clue how long I'll be able to keep my uterus.
I have no clue what the heck is happening in my head sometimes, but Oh, therapists cost money, something I just don't have enough of at the moment.

I start working the second week in may. I start getting a check the first week in june. That will skew the budget enugh where, if I can just find the time, I can start doing the therapy thing. In the fall Hermes will get in for the G&T testing, so we can have an advocate to help make sure he is getting enough education wise. In the fall, Thor should be starting a preschool program, whichwill help, and I can maybe finally have some one on one time with Hermes so I know my own kid better.

Sorry for the rant, I am fine, really, I just needed to blow some steam.

Non-fiction blogroll assignment

When I become Queen of the World!!

This is actually something that I have given serious thought to, so is not all whimsey. Oddly, for those who don't know him, logically, for those who do, I took a lot of inspiration from Hermes.

First rule of order- Anyone can marry anyone else they want to, with the exception of close blood relations. If two boys want to get married, great, two girls, fabulous, a bay and a girl, great! Also, if any number of people decided that they love one another, want to honor one another, and do right by one another, they should be allowed to.

People will be able to wear whatever is comfortable, gender aside. If a boy wants to wear skirts nad dresses, no problem. If someone wants to wear ball gowns, so long as it doesn't impact their ability to do what they have to do, have at it!

Food will not be eaten according to any rigid schedule. To directly quote Hermes "If it's food, and you east it for breakfast, it IS breakfast food!"

Gas prices-there i no reason whatseover that gas should be as expensive as it is. In the small timeframe between my being made Queen of the World, and alternative fuel sources being made common place, gas will be affordable.

Stay at home moms will earn full social security benefits, based on what their pay would be for their individual daily tasks, cleaning, nanny, teacher, bookkeeper, etc...

"Well, that's the size of a large baby!"

I checked my e-mail and saw that my text books and necesarry suplies for next term have been shipped! Yay. I check the tracking info, and it weighs 9 pounds!! 9 pounds of text! I comment to a friend that I have 9 pounds of class stuff being shipped to me, and I wonder what it is? She asks what my next term classes are. I explain that they are Software Applications for the HealthCare Professional, and the other is Anotomy and Physiology. Her reply was "Well, that is the size of a large baby! Do you think they are sending you a large baby for A&P?"

head meet palm.

blogroll fiction #1

I can hear that car driving up and down the street again. Thumpa-thumpa-thumpa...god, I wish they could turn their friggen base down. I used to be excited when I heard the car, I thought it would be Dominic, coming home. He always listened to his bass like that, although he would thud clasical and swing music, not rap.
I hadn't seen Dominic in years, I don't even know why I still thought of our place as 'our' place, or even 'his'. Old habits die hard, I guess.
Since I am awake, I decide that OJ sounds good. On my way to the fridge I glance out the window. The thumpa-bass car isn't the one that normally bothers me, this one is blue, not red. I don't think I had seen the blue car before, but then, I am notmally not rooting around for orange juice at two in the mornnig anyways.
As I get into the kitchen, I notice the clock on the microwave isn't telling the time, it is flashing 'end' over and over again. I could have sworn that I hit the clear button after making dinner, but I guess not.
After drinking my juice right out of the carton, I decide that it's probably time to go back to bed, hopefully the bass car won't keep me awake. Where is the bass? I can't hear it anymore, must have driven off. I look back out the window, and the blue car is still there, parked, empty, someone is getting a 2am visitor.
As I make it back into the bedroom, there is a knock, on the door...Dominic!

In all seriousness

Normally, if I post about Hubby here, it is a rant, or a simple post about his awesomeness, generally followed by a rant.

I realized something today, while doing some research for a project paper for school about Fat. (Yes, I am writing a brief med terminology paper about being fat). Hubby started dating me when I was roughly 160 pounds. Right about where I should be, according to the BMI, and a little less than I should be according to any reasonably sane, sighted person. Hubby has been with me when I wieghed more than 100 pounds over that (My highest recorded weight ever was during my last pregnancy, when I hit 270, roughly). He has supported me in my efforts to lose weight for my health, he has supported me when those efforts don't always work, almost always because I really, really like food, and frankly, I dislike most excersize. I am blessed to have a husband who seems o find me more attractive when I am heavy. He loves my curves, and makes no bones about it.

He supports me in school, in work, in being a stay at home mom. He is totally holding up his end of the implied sickness and health contract.

He may not be the greatest at cleaning, socializing with other people, or being as articulate as he can be. He is coarse, gruff, cantankerous, and has an off sense of humor. He is fiercely protective of me and the boys, so much so that some people assume he is controlling, when he isn't.

He is also an amazing father, a wonderful husband, and a good person. He is a nice guy, and I am admn lucky to have him.

April Fools blog

So, I had a choice today to right an april fool's post, a post aout my phobias, or a post about the worst hotel I have ever stayed at.

After deciding that I did not want to do an april fools post, and after deciding that I really did not want to relive the worst hotel, I am posting about phobias.

Clowns...don't like them. It was made worse by reading It in the bathtub as a teenager. It was made even worse when, 8 years ago, I am working in Downtown, during the time the circus was in town. While having a smoke on my lunch hour, a fully made up clown asked to bum one, then honked his nose at me. I am convinced they smell fear.

Things with too many legs. Can't really explain it.

Getting caught in a small, bendy, space, with occasional stepped opening that I could plummet to my death through. I know that this combines multiple phobias, but I have a recurring bad dream where, for some reason, I have to fit through a barely big enough space, that has a lot of acute turns in it, making it smaller, and then will have a 5 foot gap I have to cross, or I will plummet.

Being not right. I have always feared that there is something wrong with me. I don't mean that I have a feeling something isn't right, or even that I think something isn't right. Every now and then I will just be hit by a sudden fear that something is wrong. Maybe that something is mental, maybe physical, maybe both or neither. The feeling almost always goes away as quickly as it comes on.

Not having friends. This isn't a phobia, more of an irrational fear. I know I have friends, I cannot imagine life without them, sometimes, though, I think they are gone. They are not, it is just me.

Twilight places. Twilighty places scare the heck out of me, I don't know why.

Meeeeee!

For the blog tour this week, I ended up deciding the topic. That topic is "What I love(like) about myself". I chose that to be the topic, because I think that women, in general, are too hard on themselves.
Now that I have made that statement, my totally self serving blog post begins now!

I love that I can laugh about anything. Often times I laugh at completely innapropriate things, which makes me laugh even more. Laughter is good for you.

I love my eyes. If you ever ask my what my best physical featuer is, I'll tell you my eyes, and I feel so blessed to see those eyes on THor.

I love that I can make things that make others feel warm and fuzzy. I knit and crochet, sew and quilt.

I really like the grown up I am becoming. I differentiate here between adult and grown up. I have been an adult since I turned 18. I only recently, even with having kids, started to grow up, and I like what I am seeing.

I like that I am someone people seem to be comfy talking to. I enjoy being able to help people, even if it's only by listening.

I really like that I can make my kids smile-nothing is better than that.

I love that I am not too old for cartoons.

That's about it for now. There is probably more, but I like the list I have.

stuff, and maybe even MORE stuff!

So, Hubby had an interview today for a much better job. He should be having is second and final interview within a week or so. Lets all keep fingers crossed.

I was supp-osed to have a phone interview today, but that had to be rescheduled, as the flu is going around that company's HR office. On the plus side, the HR director, and person in charge of all final hiring decisions, called me herself to apologize, and to reschedule, with her. Even though I am kind of nervous to be interviewing with her, I am very hopeful, as if she is taking th time to interview me herself, they want me. I would be doing customer service/billing support/data entry for a major company. I would be getting good pay, and I found out that there is a lot of opportunity for advancement, even with their part time employees. Once again, lets keep fingers crossed.

School- Yeah, I aced my rough draft assignment, and my last terminology paper. It's good to be smart, even if I don't always feel it.

Y'all will be seeing many more posting from me. On top of my weekly assignment from my blog-tour group (this weeks will be about why I love myself), I am also going to be doing a fiction blog-tour group. Many of the same people, just a chance to flex our fiction muscles.

Thor is still talking more, expecially if he an sing. We have to figure out a way to slow his speech down, as it will make him more easily understood.
Buddha is still talking more, too.
After my procedure, I will start potty training both of them. I am still working on Thor, we will just be a little more intensive. Buddha is showing many signs of readiness. How sweet would it be to have them both out of daipers soon?

Hermes is still rediculously smart. His conferences went well, and focused on that he is rediculously smart.

I still hurt. It's good to have pain meds, but it sucks at the same time. The meds that allow me to still finction don't take away all the pain, and the meds that take away the pain leave me unable to function, or even speak coherently.

I'm dealing, though.

Helping a firend deal with an impending loss

So roommate friend, also known as the Troll who lives under our stairs (which is even funnier, as the name carried over from when we had a basement) is dealing with some really heavy shit right now.
Troll's mom was diagnosed about a year ago with lung cancer. They underwent a few courses of treatment, they thought it was going away...thought.
The lung cancer was a alrge cell, a particularl agressive large cell, and it didn't go away. Once treatment was on hold, it came back, with a vengeance, and spread into her right lung, as well. About two weeks ago, she was informed that it was time to make the choice between quantity and quality. She could have more chemo, to prolong her time left, but she would be sick for a long time, or she could do nothing, manage the pain, and try and enjoy what, at the time, was looking to be 6 months to two years.
Last night, she started to have major problems breathing, and thought it may be a collapsed lung. She went into the ER, and they found pneumonia, under the tumor. She is on an oral antibiotic for the pneumonia, but it's looking grim. They cannot do any aggressive treatment for the pneumonia, as it could encourage the cancer to spread. They cannot do chemo at all, as it will weaken her immune system, and the infection in the pneumonia will spread.
Her specialist passed down word this morning that between the agressiveness of the cancer, the inability to operate, and the inability to effectively treat the pneumonia, she has anywhere between a few days, to maybe a month or so.
Troll is in his early-mid twenties. He has a younger sister, an older brother (who is being an ass) and a father with heart issues.
I don't know what. other than being a shoulder to cry on, I can do for him, but I am asking that any healing energies, prayers, good thoughts, etc.. be sent his way.
Thank you.

Odd vacation

So, the request has been made that, at semi regular intervals, I will post on any given topic. I know what this topic is, but you do not know until I tell you. Also, others will be writing about this topic, too. I bet if you check out my "Look! Sites I Read!" thingy, over there =====>> you may be able to read others views on the same topic. I will always let y'all know when I am writing about a topic that has been given to me, like I am now.

Strange or weird or odd vacations:
When I was living in Iowa, land of excitement (ok, not really), a group of us decided that we were going to go to AdventureLand for the day, and then camp for the rest of the weekend, somewhere. We decided this at about 6am, and we were heading out at about 6:30am, the same day.
It rained, all day. We never thought to check the weather. We never though to check who was packing what, either. Between a group of five of us, we had three sleeping bags, a few loose blankets, the clothes we grabbed before we left, and a tarp. No tent, no cook stove, nothing to cook with, nothing to do.
We ended up making it work, somehow. We hit a gas station and got some rope, so we could sling up the tarp. We made 'nests' out of the blankets, and luckilly, my mom taught me how to make awesome fires (Goddess of campfires..yeah, that's my mom, in human form-sometime I'll tell y'all about a ranger coming and telling her to make her fire smaller). We had to drive from our campsite into town every day for the three days we camped, in order to get food. We ate a lot of hotdogs, marshmallows, and chips that weekend. We also drank a lot of really warm soda.
We survived the weekend, and headed home, We stopped at a sit down restaurant to eat, halfway home, and realized that for 3 and a half days we had been out in the rain, the mud, sleeping outside, with no shower, perfume, deoderant, not even washing our faces. Denny's manager, we are eternally sorry.

Why enunciation is important

Hermes, as you all know by now, is a very smart child. He is also a very curious child. He also does not speak quite as clearly as he should, nor as clearly as he is able to. I think this comes back to the whole "being smart enough to know to hide it around people who will inevitably freak out over how smart he is" thing.
Anyways, we have learned over the past few weeks a few valuable lessons. One is the importance of monitoring what your almost 6 and three quarters year old child is watching in his bedroom. We knew he was watching cartoons, and educational television. What surprised the heck out of us was that he was watching adult things...things like the news, and more news, and political shows, and unbiased news! Damn, I wasn't ready for that. We also learned the importance of making sure we understood what he was saying before making sure he understood. Let me explain- Hermes will mimic things he hears adults, and other people he cinsiders smart, say. He will also quote, verbatim, passages from books, television, movies, and commercials, if he thinks that it will work in a conversation. He will ask if he knows he doesn't know what it means, but if he thinks he knows, he will not ask. Since he doesn't always speak clearly, this leads to some interesting conversaitons.
I believe I posted previously about the whorehouse. If not, I will give a brief recap of the conversation that, in the five minutes it occured, redced me to tears as I was laughing so hard once I understood what he was asking. What he said: Mom, what's a warhorse? What I thought I heard-Mom, what's a ho'house? What I assumed I heard-Mom, what's a warehouse.
You can imagine the hilarity that accured when I thought he said whorehouse, and was trying to figure out where in the heck he heard that word. Imagine my surprise when he said at school! A school that has no students above the fourth grade!!!
Thankfully, he and I figured out what he was saying before the conversation got too heated.

Yesterday, though, while I was on painkillers at that, he sprung another one on me. "Mom, why is it, that if I need to talk about something I need to know whether or not it is impotent."
IMPOTENT people, my baby asked about impotency when he isn't even old enough to have to deal with being potent, let alone impotent! I asked him to repeat himself a few more times, and then I realized that he was asking about something being important! Ohhhhh!

The benifit of having a smart and very vocal child, is that you have a smart, vocal child. The downside is that you have a smart, vocal, child. I never know what's going to come out of his mouth, and I never know if what's coming out of his mouth is what's in his brain.


In related news, Thor has taken to saying nipple and boob. It started a few weeks ago when he spent about five minutes singing the word nipple, over and over and over. I was certain that I had to be hearing wrong, so aside from giggling at the three year old angelic voice saying nipple, I let it slide.
The other day, we got the sone of nipple, nipple, nipple,(whispered oh so quietly) boob, nipple, followed by a fit of giggles. I don't know if he even knows what nipples and boobs are, but at least he talking, right? Right?

my arguement against inteligent design theory, and a personal update

I have formulated an arguement against inteligent desing. this has nothing to do with fossils, proofs of evolution, or science. This has to do with manufacturer's warrantees.
Seriously, folks, if we were designed by an all knowing, inteligent creator, don't you think they would have tossed in a warrenty? Just a stamp or a peice of paper that we could turn in and have defective parts replaced, free of cost, at any time, or at least during that parts standard operating timeline? Seems like the inteligent thing to me.

So I had my Drs appointment on Monday. On April 10, I go on for a hysteroscopy, a resectoscopy, and a d&c. Hopefully, after getting a better look at what's going on in my uterus, removing the polyp, scraping it out so they can biopsy the fibroids, and getting a good look at the mass that's growing at the top, my body will reset itself, with the help of an oral, triphasic birthcontrol, or the Drs will figure out what is going on so we can fix it. If neither of these things happen, I am looking at a hysterectomy. If the fibroids or the polyp or the mystery mass end up being anything other than benign, I am looking at a historectomy, or ifthere is damage done to the uterine wall, I am...well, you get the gist.

I have at least one polyp, at least two or three definate firbroids, and a mass at the top cavity of the uterus. The fibroids are groing in an odd location (in between the uterine wall and the endometrium), and the appear to be growing rapidly.

I have a lot to wrap my head around right now, but I am working on it, and I have an excellent support system
On the totally geeky side, though, if I do have to have the uterus removed, it will be done by ROBOT!! My clinic owns their own DaVinci surgical robot.

On the plus side to all of this, my ovaries look beautiful, so know matter what, I should be able to keep them.

been a long time since I've rock and rolled

So I haven't updated for a while. It happens, sometimes real life gets in th way.



Totally TMI woman issue warning, men, avert your eyes, I warned you!!!!!!





So I have fallen, once again, into the incredibly irragular period cycle again. It's who whole nasty shebang this time.

After years of being brushed off, being told there is nohing wrong with me, and lord only knows what else, I finally have an appointment with a Dr who is going to try and help. It will be with a male,, wich is odd, as even though all of my babies were delivered by men, I gnerally prefere a female doctor for female issues. I do not mind, though, as apparently this guy is the House of MN odd gunecology issues. Quote one of the women on his team, there may not be anythin wrong with me, but there definately isn't anythign right, and they are going to figure it out.

11:15 on St patty's day, I get to have the first appointment and start figuring out what is going on. I am thrilled, a little aprehensive, but thrilled. Maybe, just maybe, i can get to a point where I only menstruate regular amounts at regular intervals with the regular discomfort, instead of bleeding almost constantly for weeks on end, with huge amounts of pain, only to be told nothing is wrong.

Finally, I may have an answer.

hot

Thor and Buddha are feverish. they are both running about a 102 right now. They have had colds, and been generally icky for the last few days, but the fever, and Buddha's being lethargic came from no where at about dinner time.
We couldn't find our thermometer at all, so I had to drive up to the local store and buy one. Three guys, big burly, scary looking, guys saw what I had to purchase, and let me go in front of them. As I was leaving, one mentioned that sick babies had priority over babies who just needed daipers and jiuce. Never judge a book and all that.

In about an hour, I'll go and check them again. By then, if not asleep, they will be more relaxed, and the tylonal will have had a chance to work.
I hate it when any of my babies are sick, but two at once sucks.

mental health, it's a good thing!

You know, as I get older, and have more on my plate, I really think that therapy is a good thing.
I have long felt that, though a useful and good tool for others, it just wasn't for me. I had nothing wrong, really! I also sometimes think that my general opinion of meds for everyone but me might be flawed.

I seem to suffer from superwoman syndrome. No matter how much I do in a day, or how well I do it, it's never enough for me. I often times take an "all or nothing" approach to things becasue of this, which ultimately results in nothing getting done. That's not good.
Yesterday, Hubby and Roomie cleaned the livingroom. Cleaned. Moved all the furniture out of the room and scrubbed, clean. I in turn, spent the first half of the day driving MIL to all of her doctor's appointments for her six week post op followup. She is doing fabulous. I then tackled the kitchen. It isn't CLEAN yet, but the dishes are done, the stove and counters have been scrubbed. I also got to thaw the pipes and drain for the shower, and clean that room, since it's been out of commision since saturday.
I kept telling myself that the dining/computer room and the bedroom needed to be clean. They weren't, the kitchen should have been more clean. The case in the living room was organized, but not clean. Hubby eventually forced me to sit down when I grabbed Roomie's empty dinner plate, from his hands in order to wash it. He was finished, and on his way to the kitchen sink, but not moving fast enough.
I am very pleased with how I did this term in school, of my two classes, I finished one with an overall 95.10 percent, and the other, harder class, with a 96.67 percent. I know that this is good, I know I should be happy, I am also beeting myself up for not doing better. I know I could have done better. Yes, they are A grades, but the could have been better A's!
I know I need to get these things under control, no matter what.
Add to this the funkiness I get a few times a year that I can only attribute to my Dad nad his families shittiness. Add to this something of a family history of mental health issues, add to this not sleeping well, being tired, beating myself up inside for not doing more, then not just doing something, etc.etc.etc. and maybe it's time I did something about it.

I realized that therapy scaresme. Talking to someone else about my issues, out loud, makes them real. I always try to be the strong one. I try to be the stable one, and admitting that I am not scares me. Hearing that I moght not be "all right" scares me.

Hubby and I have talked. he supports my decision to do this, and is actually encouraging me. He has sensed that things have not been %100 good with me for a while, and is glad that I started talking to him about it some, but he also knows that there are things from my past that I just don't feel like discussing with him, frankly. He is fine with that as well. After we get our tax returns, and I have an idea of how many hours a week I will be doing at my work from home job (I am retraining on my infomercial operator line), I will budget my mental health copays in, and make an appointment.
In some ways it sucks that I have to budget mental health, but then again, it's par with the course.

rememberance, part 1

Just over 13 years ago, two brothers set fir to a duplex in Minneapolis, in the middle of the night. The resulting fire had flames shooting over three stories above the two-level home's roof. In the upstairs, was the home's owner, a friend of my dad's family, a bachelor, and his two dogs. In the basement, was pictures and memorabilia of my dad's family's life. In the main level, my aunt, and my grandma, and memories and relics from my grandfather, like his flag encased in a frame, with five bullets-a memory of his time in the service.
My Aunt had just gone into her room, at the back of the house, after making toast. My grandma had been in her room, in the center of the hosue, for a few hours, and was sound asleep. The fire was set at the front corner. The house was old, with wooden siding, wooden floors, a wooden framed front porch. the front porch had an old couch, an old wicker chair, and lamps, with old papaer and cloth shades. The other side of the front porch had piles of newspaper, ready to be brought to recycling the next day.
The fire spread quicvkly, for even though it was the winter, it had been very cold that year, and there wasn't much snow to act as a damper. My aunt recalls hearing a crackling noise, and smelling burnt toast. When she left her room, and entered the kitchen, the house was full of smoke. She panicked, she thought that the toaster had shorted, and set the house on fire. The house was on fire, but not due to the toaster, no, it was started by two people who had never met anyone who lived in the home.
My aunt was not able to get to my grandma. Someone outside the home saw the flames, and dialed 911. Emergency vehicles were on their way.
The man who lived upstairs was not home that night. His dogs, however, perished in the fire. They believe the smoke got to them before the flames. My aunt, sitting in a bus that arrived to offer shelter, had very bad frost bite on her toes.
The firefighters were able to enter the home, and get out my grandma. She was very badly burned. It was found at the hospital that she had third through fifth degree burns over 85% of her body. In some places, the burning was so bad, you could see charred bone. She was unconcious, at the time, they didn't know if it was from shock, or smoke inhalation. They were grateful for her unconciousness, however, and administered drigs in the way to the hospital to keep her that way. My aunt still though that the fire was caused by her making toast.
By the times the flames were put out, there was really nothing left. Because it was so cold, some of the items in the basement, like the pictures, were encased in ice from the hoses. There was water damage, and some are gone forever, but some still exist. The pictures of my grandfather, of my uncle who passed before I was born, and of my great gramma were all on the main level, and are gone forever.
At the hospital, my aunt found out that the fire was not her fault, that it was arson.
At the hospital, we found out that gramma had severe brain damage. That even if she survived the treatments for the burns, she would probably never function again, and if she did, she would be in constant pain, in a wheelchair, more than likely unable to communicate. Ultimately, the request to stop treatment, and to not allow lifesaving measures was made. We know she wouldn't want to live this way.
Thirteen years ago, on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, she was buried, in a closed coffin ceremony. I had never personally seen a funeral so large before. Everyone whose life she touched was there. MY mom, my aunt, her sister, and my maternal gramma were even there. At this point, my mom had been divorced from my dad for 14 years.
My aunt needed years of therapy. She needed to learn that it was not her fault. She needed to learn how to live on her own. It took almost 8 years before she could make toast, or smell burnt toast, without becoming physically ill.
Shortly after Hermes was born, the brothers who seet the fires finally had their day in court. It took six and a half years for the system to provide any sort of justice. It was found out that they had set fires before, It was found out that the older brother, shortly before burning my grandma's home, had set fire to the trailer where his ex girlfriend and toddler daughter lived. They were charged with the federal offense of arson in the first, and premeditated homicide. They argued that they didn't know anyone was in the home, but legally, if you set fire to a residence, it is believed that the assumption it is occupied is present.

withen the year following, well the six months following, the fire, is when I first lost contact with my dad. I do not know if it was truly a series of miscommunications, if it was the Step-mom's influence, or if losing his mom finally caused him to flake completely.

A month and a half after burying my paternam grandmother, my maternal gramma died in her sleep.

Every now and then, especially around this time of year, it still hurts. I still miss my paternal grandma deeply. I have no way of knowing what her lifespan shuld have been. I have no way of knowing if she would have lived to see her first biological grandsons, or what she would have thought of them.
I still miss her. I still love her. Occasionally, I drive past where the house was. It's a parking lot, now. Much of the old neighborhood has changed, but there are still some people, who if they see me, when I get out of the van, can peg me as being her granddaughter. They all make a point oftelling me how much she loved me, how proud sahe was of everything I did, and that she always knew I would grow up to do great things.
I wonder, if she is looking over me, sometimes. If she sees how smart her grandson's are. If she is disappointed in her son, for letting me go. If she knows that I crochet and knit, like she did, or if she knows that I can make her ham gravy, and goulash. Would she be proud?

Hey Folks!

Greetings to my loyal readership, of which I could count on my fingers!

Seriously, I had my first weigh in after starting my Jenny Craig program, and I lost 5 pounds!! GRanted, it's my first week, and I will see a larger drop the first few weeks, most of which is water weight, but still, 5 pounds...80 ounces. Next time you are at the grocery store, pick up a 5 pound bag of fruit...I lost that.

Thor is starting to talk more, and mroe clearly, every day. Somehow, after we got his routine set again after christmas, it got all wonky on us. We are working on dealing with it, but it's really tough on me. Hubby has been home sick most of the week, thankfully he has sick time, and Thor and Buddha seem to have picked up his cold, which is going to make the whoe getting back to normal thing that much harder.
What is totally awesome, though, is that Thor is realizing that if he wants something, and asks for it by name, he is mroe likely to get it. It's awesome. At lunch I'll get "Momma, more ap-ploo Juicy-Juice...puh-le-ase? Yeas?"
When he is having his "quiet time" in his room I'll get "Momma, Iceh Age Mo-Veeee, puh-le-ase?Yeas?"
What is really cracking Hubby and I up is his tendancy to ask "Yes?" immediately after asking for something. It's like, in his mind, if hesays yes immediately after asking, we will say yes.
On the down side, with more talking and active communication, he is starting in with "No!" Not the drawn out no of the past, that could mean any number of things fron no, to yes, to oh, look, there's a butterfly on the window, but an actual, sharp, childlike 'no!'. Take the good with the bad.

Buddha, well, he's a little pick pocket. He can take something from you, while you are looking dead at him ,and you don't even realize. He is talking much more now. Apparently, he was one of those kids who waited till he could break out the full sentances. Apparently, he is also a teenage girl. The bulk of what he says currently is "I don't know", "I'm cute, yeah?", "I want it", and, my personal favorite, even though I try not to show it "Oh Shit! What was that!"
He also loves to make people laugh, and if you walk up to him and say "Buddha, monkey?" He will do an AWESOME monkey impersonation. He can also count to three, tell you who and what things are, and in general, is pretty much where he should bne for a kid who's 21 months old.

Hermes...Hermes, Hermes, Hermes, Hermes. He is smart. This is causing some issues. When he gets bored in school, because he already knows what their doing, and he finished his work, he talks. When I picked him up last night, after King Fu, I had a few mnutes to talk with his school director, think principal. She let me know that they've had a few problems with his talking this week,. They understand it's because he's, and I quote, "Much smarter than most kids his age, if not in the school", but she also let me know that his teacher is very smart as well, which is why Hermes is in her class. They are going to work more on coming up with things for him to do, and I am working with him more and the importance of not talking out of turn. I explained to him that when he is talking when he isn't supposed to, it makes it harder for other kids to learn. He doesn't want that, so he will work on it. We are also practicing being quiet when there is nothing to do at home. As long as he has something to work on, he is good, but it's getting hard to find busy work for him at school. They really don't want to have him skip a grade, yet, as he still needs to work on socialization, and he's already the youngest in his class (june birthday) and the shortest in his class...heck, alot of the kindergarten kids are bigger than he is.
His Kung Fu instructor let me know last night that Hermes is the smallest and youngest in his particular group, and that Hermes could take down any one of them. The kid is strong, and actually has really good control. Hubby and I are thinking that, come spring, we will start working on budgeting in the money to keep Hermes in Kung Fu over the summer, and maybe add a class outside of school during the school year. We do not want to overload him, but he enjoys it, and it is something we can use to help him behave. If he doesn't behave, no Kung Fu that week, outside of school.

Happy new years, and all that

First, a very happy new years to my massive readership...my counts place you at maybe just into the double digits, w00t!!!
Tonight I have my first appointment with my Jenny Craig advisor, Melissa. We will not only weigh me, but get my body fat percentage (boo), discuss my weightloss goals, and get my menu for the first week or two. I am really excited about this. I was talking with a friend who is also in the weightloss study, and is in the Jenny Criag over the phone group, and after talking with her advisor, going over the amount of weight she has to lose (which is in the ballpark of mine) and everything else, she found out that it is possible to be at our goal weight come christmas next year. It would be amazing to be back where I belong for the major picture taking holiday of the year!

This is me, doing a happy dance.

I started the process a little ways back of trying to qualify for a weightloss study. It is a really unique study, as it is a clinical, university sponsored study, but it is being backed by Jenny Craig. The studdy will unltimately involve 440 women over 4 states, some using Jenny, some with a nutritionist.
I just got the call letting me know that I am in!!!
I am so excited.
I will be in the group that does Jenny Craig with an actual advisor, in person, instead of over the phone.
TWO FREE YEARS of Jenny Craig for doing this study.
YAY!!!!!
Wish my luck. I will have a clinical every 6 months at the U, and I am going to have Hubby take some baseline before pics for me tonight, then I will have them done after every clinical. The pics are just fo my use, but I'm a very visual person, so for me, will better represent my change over pounds on the scale.
WOOT!!!!

This is me, doing a happy dance.

I started the process a little ways back of trying to qualify for a weightloss study. It is a really unique study, as it is a clinical, university sponsored study, but it is being backed by Jenny Craig. The studdy will unltimately involve 440 women over 4 states, some using Jenny, some with a nutritionist.
I just got the call letting me know that I am in!!!
I am so excited.
I will be in the group that does Jenny Craig with an actual advisor, in person, instead of over the phone.
TWO FREE YEARS of Jenny Craig for doing this study.
YAY!!!!!
Wish my luck. I will have a clinical every 6 months at the U, and I am going to have Hubby take some baseline before pics for me tonight, then I will have them done after every clinical. The pics are just fo my use, but I'm a very visual person, so for me, will better represent my change over pounds on the scale.
WOOT!!!!

This is me, not writing a paper

I have a paper due tomorrow in medical law and ethics. I have it roughed out, but I still need to write it. I cannot do that properly until I have my APA manual from the future SIL, in a few hours. I thought I would just write it, using my previous paper as a ghuide on what, and what not, to do, formatting and citation and reference wise. My professor did an awesome job of marking it up for me, and explained why I got the grade I did. (Queck aside, the difference between Hubby and I thinking wise-he thinks that a 89.64% is an awesome grade for my first ethics paper, I am pissed that I didn't do better.) All of this was before she put word out to the class that she graded our first papers leniently.
Yeah, she'll be grading this one harsher, and now panic has set in. I need to be perfect, damnit!
I am at a 96% or better in both of my classes right now, and I just feel that I can be doing soooo much better. Hubby teases me that I am not living up to my full potential by less than four per cent. He is only teasing, I need to make that clear. He is trying to point out how rediculous my need to be perfect is.

The worst part about this paper is that I know full well I could get an extensuion on it if I wished, since my MIL is having surgery tody. Instead, I will stay up late, working on it today, and proofing it tomorrow, so it can get turned in on time.

I am totally rediculous. I don't have this problem in my other class, just this one.

Also, I turned 29 yesterday...woohoo!

Frightening conclusion:

Either I am much smarter than I give myself credit for, or a cast majority of the populace is painfully stupid.
If I am actually smarter than I give myself credit for, okay...I can deal with this. It will probably make my schooling easier, and maybe I will find that, after a few years on the job, Iwant to further my education in the medical field. I don't want to work with actual patients, but there are a ton of jobs that deal with medical records, all of which I think would be interesting. There are also the opportunities, even in medical transcription, for research, to be published in journals, etc.
If, on the otherhand, other people are as stupid as it appears, by looking at my classes, and random discussions, I fear for society. I am thankful to have smart kids, to hopefully counteract the vast wave of stupidity that is trying to drag us down.

Is it so hard to come up with answers to people that are not "I agree/Disagree", or "You are wrong/right"? Why do you think that way. how do you know this, could you share your information with me?
Politics, don't just bitch, get involved. Don't like a referendum, get out there and find out why, how to change it, and vote against it...don't just sit and whine.
Cannot figure out why tort reform is a good thing? Have you actually looked into what needs to be proven or disproven to sue a doctor? Do you realize that it is virtually impossible to hold a medical assistant responsible for their actions, but instead, you can sue the doctor?

I am in an age bracket, and in a lifestyle bracket( stay-at-home, late twenty-something female, with kids) where it seems like the majority of my peers are more concerned about what others will think about their beliefs, actions, reactions than what their beliefs/reactions/actions actually mean. If I hear one more woman say that she is supporting or going to vote for ____ because that is what her husband says to do, I am going to scream. Don't do what your husband says is right, do what you think is right! Do your research. You tell me that Universal Healthcare is bad, why? Have you looked into what it means for you, your children, or are you just parrotting your man and your parents.

I am going to make a point of raising my kids to question things, to learn, to try and chnge things they think are wrong. We have been doing this since day one. We are not raising Anarchists, but maybe we are raising Revolutionairies!!!

why are all the stupid people in my classes?

Academic strategies-we are discussing critical thinking. The Prof asks us to define crtitical thinking without using the following words- thought, thinking, wondering, critical.
The first person to respond stated: Thinking about things all the way though.
Can we find the issue with that statement?

In Medical Law, Ethics and Bioethics, it took twenty minutes to explain to someone the difference between a summons and a subpeona. What so hard to understand about " A summons demands someone presence in front of a judge to stand as a defendant in a criminal or misdemeanor case. Failure to replyu will result in a default judgement against the defendant. A subpeona commands the presence of a person or document in front of a judge or grand jury in order to provide information in a case in order to support a claim made by the defendant or plaintiff. failure to appear could result in being fined, and held in contempt of court." They are different-Summons means you've been bad, subpeana means you have information. AAARRRGGHHH.

Well, that was certainly an adult way to present your case...not!!!!

We were having a very civil discussion on a board I frequent. The discussion was about children on the autism spectrum and church services.
Thor, as you all know, lives somewhere near the happy, somewhat normal, end of the spectrum. Just odd enough to be on the spectrum, just normal enough to not be considered autistic by parents with severely, like Rhett's syndrome, autistic children.
This civil conversation is where a parent of a severely autistic boy decided to anounce that she felt that autism was the new "fad" diagnoses, like ADD was in the 90's. She also went on to say that the issues with high functioning kids, like mine and many other parents involved in the discussion, were sufferring from bad parents who wanted to lable their kids instead of own up to being lazy.

Oh yes, she went there.

I am the first to admit my laziness. I am the first to question my parenting skills. I have also spent litterally hundreds of hours sitting in various and sundry doctors offices while they tested Thor, watching them try and tell me that it could very well get worse as he gets older, that we do not know what is wrong, that he is freakishly strong, so many of the techniques for calming and coping won't work.
I am the one who went with him to class twice a week for 4 months, trying to make him socialize.
I am the one who is always wondering if he is getting better, getting worse, if it's my fault, etc.

I fully understadn that she has it harder than I do, in the behaviour from a special needs kid department, but just because I have it 'easier' does not mean that there isn't a problem, does not mean that it ismy fault, and does not mean that her words didn't hurt like effing hell.

Thor is doing awesome, by the way. He is talking more daily, and almost playing with other kids that are not related to him. Unfortunately, as this is happenning, we are getting more meltdowns, less eye contact, and more stimming and hand flapping. No one ccan tell me what, if anythign this means, and all I can do is hope for the best.

conferences

We had Hermes' conference this morning. It went rather well. His teacher gave us the bad-he needs to work on fine motor skills, he needs to talk less out of turn- both of which we already knew. She requested that we work with him more on his responding in Mandarin in classroom discussions. We will talk to him about it, and remind him that it is OK to get words wrong, that his teachers will help him. We know he has an exceptional understanding of the language, and his pronounciation is spot on.

The one thing she really wanted to realy was that he is smart. Very smart. Smart smart.
In her broken english she explained that Hermes is a good student to build on, education wise. He aced his "hard all in chinese math test", and she is excited to teach him. She also said that he would probably go on to get his PH.D no problem.
Yay, smart kid. We know what to work with him on, and where to encourage him, and he loves science!

doin' fine

Well, peoples, I am three weeks into my school, and currently holding up pretty well.
I am holding a perfect score in my Med law and bioethics class, and one point shy of perfect in my Accademic strategies for the medical professional class. I lost a friggen point to formatting in discussion posts =(

I plan on doing my most to keep my grades as high as possible, throughout my schooling career. I figure as long as I am smart about time management, and starting in on essays with enough time to have them proofed before they are turned in, I'm all good. Luckilly my future sister in law is a TA for a writing class, and has had to do all of her 4 years of papers in the APA format. She will proof my work for me, if I ask, and be brutally honest, wich I need.

The weight is slowly coming off, and I might be in a UofM weightloss study, which would be pretty awesome. I have almost finished shaking the resp. infection, and shouldn't need another round of antibiotics. After the new year, when we are under the new insurance plan for huuby's job, I am also going to bo looking into braces, for me...the new dental policy covers a large chunk of adult orthodontia, rending two refferrals, and I have had random dentists tell me I need braces, so that shouldn't be a problem. I'll probably wait till the spring, when Hubby will have tons o' overtime again, so it won't hit our current budget.

The Pantheon is doing awesome, and we have sonferences for Hermes in the morning...I'll keep you loyal readers posted.

blatant overachiever when it comes to multitasking.

I have been busting my butt for the last few weeks to get the house as clean as possible before I start school. I have been juggling dishes, laundry, and kids like it were an olympic medal event.
Multitasking fears me.
Since I have multitasking down to an artform, it makes sense it would spill into the rest of my life.
I just got back from the doctor. I woke up feeling like crap after being perfect for a while on sunday.
I have the killer combo of an upper respiratory, and a sinus infection, all rolled into one!
Luckilly, they take the same antibiotic and OTCs to cure, but man. On the plus side? No strep!

hourglass figure

So, I was taking measurements earlier today. As I lose weight, I plan on making some more of my own clothing, so it fits right, as I am oddly proportioned. People will argue that with me, but I am. I have really wide shoulders, really wide hips, a really high, and oddly small for my size, natural waist, and i big ol' ribcage.
After taking my measurements, though, I realized that the ratio is really rather 1940's Vargas Girl, hourglassy.
I have determined that I have the hourglass figure, it just holds a wee bit more sand is all!

Awesome!

We ordered some books for Hermes through the scholastic orderforms. These things have been sent home with students since the dawn of time, I swear.
Anyways, since Hubby and I had the money, we ordered a couple of things. We held off on the Shel Silverstien, as we think those are going to be 'gift' books, books for christmas, or birthdays, We did, however, get a twelve pack of Magic Schoolbus books, a four pack of Flat Stanley books, 1001 pirate things to spot, the SuperHero ABCs, When A Pig Eats A Pancake, a hotwheels story, and Transformers: Optimus Prime Versus Megatron (early readers edition). All these books came to less than fifty dollars. all these books came home today. All these books, with the exception of the Transformers, are currently sitting nicely on Hermes desk. The transformers is currently being read, from cover to cover, by Hermes, who is on the couch. I had to give him a pass on homework until after dinner, instead of right when we got home, because he is so happy, reading.
Awesome!

Grrr...'Alternate plans" *Updated already*

Hermes school offers an extensive enrichment program after school. One of the things they offer is Kung Fu, one day a week, beginners level. This year they decided to split it, so that kindergarteners and 1st graders were in a class on wed, and 2nd & 3rd grade in a class on thursday.
I just got an e-mail from the enrichment coordinator letting me know that the wed class was full, mostly of Kinders. They are trying to move the first graders to thurs, as the thurs class does not have enough kids.
I told her, frankly, that I don't care how it happens, my boy wants to do this, and if that means working with older kids, so be it. I cannot see the instructor deciding to drop a class for not enough kids when the other class has too many. Common sense would dictate that the first graders will work with the bigger kids. They will not be sparring, and since it is a new instructor this year, everyone is at a beginer level, this was ade very clear in the materials they sent home.
I should know by the end of the day...I really do not want to tell Hermes he cannot do this, as it's the first after school program we've signed him up for, and it is too late now to sign up for anyhting else until the next tri.
Sigh...why can't anything ever be easy.

UPDATE
Immediately after posting this, I got an e-mail from Enrichment lady saying that she was able to transfer Hermes into the Thursday class no problem. Mr Sensai, who is also their gym instructor, feels that it will be better for Hermes anyways, because the older kids have better focus, so there will be less distraction and more learning.
This cracked me up. It amazes me that Hermes is so good at maintaining focus and self moderating at school, but at home it's all "Hermes gone wild, after school edition"
I swear the boy isn't even in the house for five minutes before we've lost the pants.

Oh, the joys of motherhood

Hermes was out of school last week in it's entirety. He had Norwalk Virus, a nasty gestroentiritus virus. Achy, poopy, and generally a pleasure to be around. He is back at school now, and has been feeling better since friday. Monday was off for a teacher devolopment day.
Sunday, Thor started showing some early symptoms, and by monday, he, too, was chock full of poop. Thor is also dealing with his allergy issues. When his sinuses drain, they gointo his tummy. This in turn gives us an amazing horkage factor. Vomit everywhere!!! He did manahe to get a spiffy new haircut last nght, though, with few ill effects.
Buddha is the latest to hop on the Norwalk train. He started with the massively impressive displays of shitting ability this morning. Namely, right as I was lifting him out of the crib. As I was stripping his bedding down to be washed, I noticed some holes in the incredibly soiled, fittif, crib sheet. When I removed the sheet, I realized he has jumped his mattress to it's untimely demise. The holes in the sheet are from the springs poking through the matress. I patched it with duct tape to carry through until I can get it replaced tonight.
Thor has four more days of this, with tomorrow starting the achy painy portion of the virus, and we are looking at about 6 days with Buddha, three till the achy painies.
Joy.

Surprisingly tasty!

Zatarain's, maker of boxed and premade cajunesque food now has instant rice pouches. You know the type, you just open the corner of the pouch, pop 'em in the nuker, and Voila-a rice side or meal.
Generally, I am leary of totally instant, add nothing, rice pouches, but I saqw that they have a red beans and rice WITH sausage added, and figured I would try it.
I'll be honest-it smells a little weird, and it ain't all that pretty. The sausage resembles peperonis past their prime, and the overall color is muddy. Tastewise, though, it is surprisingly good. There is moe rice than if I were to make it myself, but for a 60 second microwave gig, it's really not all that bad. It will definately sate the craving for red beans and rice till I'm up to making it from scratch, and with a little salsa or hotsauce sprinkled in, it even has enough kick!

obsessed

OK people, I now that someone out there in internet land can help me. Does any one, any where, including Eddie Vedder know what all the lyrics to "Yellow Ledbetter" are? The only definable lyrics that seem to be in any version of it he plase are "Leave it alone" "Leave it there" and "In a box or a bag" which many people interprate as "In a boxer a bag" for some reason. This is driving me nuts. It's almost as bad as trying to figure out the very middle of the 'spoken' part of Soul to Squeaze, until I saw a few different recording where I realized that Keidis doesn't actually say anything intelligable.

Yellow Ledbetter, people, work on it, I'll figure out a prize or something to the people who can some up with the most reasonable suggestions.

Dinner

We did a family dinner at a restaurant last night. I am really pleased with how well the kids behaved. No meltdowns, no tantrums, no random screaming/shrieking. It gives me hope that we can actually go out more often with the kids.
Thor is doing alot better about learning how to keep himself calm. Every now and then throughout dinner he would do a little dance in his chair, it was part of how he kept himself in the here and now. He did fabulously until he hit some hot mustard, but calmed down as soon as he drank some milk and got cuddled.
Buddha was Buddha, and Hermes was just plain cute.

Wet

Hubby, myself, and a few friends went to Fest yeasterday. We left half an hour before the closed it down for the weekend. The weather was deamed so bad, they closed fest. This happens maybe once every ten years or so. They've kept it open through tornado warnings, lighning strikes, and most all other weather...What is the weather that closed site then? Flash flood high warning. Fest is smack dab in the middle of a flood zone, and that's something they won't mess with. The powers that be even evacuated the campgrounds and buildings, making sure the circiut people had safe places to be.
We only spent a few hours out there, but thanks to a BIL who traded in all of his promo points for comp tickits, we will be able to head out at least two more times, if not three, depending on who all comes with, and if they charge for Hermes or not.

Now posting that we will be looking for people to take some kids coming up here soon!

they are amazing

School is starting soon. This has Hermes all sorts of excited. He knows we are going shopping in a while (read: after payday) to get all knew things! We need a new backpack for him, as last years barely survived through the last day of school, new supplies-which lists for were conveniently mailed out, maybe some new uniform clothes, but I won't know that till I go through all of his old uniforms, to see what still fits, and pre-shrink his new uniform pants to see if they can be worn yet, even with a belt, or if they have to wait. Hermes is surprisingly short, but he is also lean, and has long legs. This gives him the illusion of being tall. This also makes buying pants and jeans a bitch. I will be soooo happy when he is finally big enough to go by waist and leg as opposed to the mystery sizes of 5, 6, slim, long, tall, boys XS and the like.
He has been practicing his Chinese daily, and as school gets closer, is working in his workbook regularly. I am unsure if this is because he wants to learn, or if it's because he wants an award and his name mentioned at the fall assembly.

Buddha is once again living up to his name. Not that those horrid teeth all have at least a corner through, he is once again all serene and gigantic smiles. He loves to sit cross-legged on the couch and just beam at you. Something about it seriously wants to make you rub his belly, and give him exotic gifts. There are days where I am certain he is actually a secret evil overlord, but most days, he is just an eerily, studiously normal, 16 month old.

Thor is talking more and more every day. On top of that, he is using his words correctly. He also overpronounces them in the most endearing of manners. There are times when we can tell that it is hard for him to talk-he will turn his head in a manner to block out as much noise as possible, shut his eyes, wrap himself up tightly in a blanket, and then get four, very determined, words out. Then there are times when he is just Chatty Cathy.
Now that he is moving farther off the autism spectrum,, the Sensory Integration Dysfunction is becoming much more obvious. Thankfully, this should be our biggest challenge, and through the right "sensory diet" it will be controllable. This may mean that he wears heavy bracelets, shoes, and necklaces. Or that we squish him into a little ball every now and then. We still do the gentle deep pressure massages, but they are becoming less effective. I will be making him a new weighted vest soon. One of his favorite things is being roughly toweled down. Give him a bath or a shower, and when he is down, dry him off with a soft towel, but using the amount of pressure you would to...oh...sand granite? Something about that feeling just brings him to the here and now, and gives him something to focus on that seems to last.

The more that Buddha does, the more that Thor does, and th more that Hermes either helps, or whines.
All said and done, they are fairly amazing.

when good ankles go bad!

I have tendonitis. I have been dealing with it for a good twelve years now. It's the Achilles tendon, to be precise, and it has it's good friend Plantar Fasciitis running around with it. They are both chrinic conditions, which means the chances of them deciding to go away are slim to none. Normally, they are well behaved, only one acts up at a time, and it's generally not bad, but every now and then, I will get an acute flair up. Acute means sharp, sudden, out of the blue, hurts like hell.
Once again, though, they generally decide that only one of them needs to be bad at any given time. Generally, I live with a constant low, dull, easily ignorable pain.
For some inexplicable reason, they ganged up on me. i guess they were conspiring against me when I was taking walks in sandals instead of my good tennis shoes, and not wearing any of my ankle braces, which I should be doing most of the time. The tendon decided it would swell, and constrict, the facii decided it would tense up. The end result is a rather unique, rather painful, pain.
I am gleefully counting down the time till my next big ol round of ibuprofin, and Hubby is out finding an ankle brace that will not pinch with the swelling.
Tennis shoes are my friend. My braces are my friend.
My foot right now? not so much my friend.

Butter tastes good.

that is all, carry on.

Thor intensive post.

Generally, I try very hard to mention at least something small about all of the Pantheon in each post. This isn't going to be like that, this is going to be a very Thor intensive post.

Sometime in the last week or so, a part of Thor's brain unlocked itself, or came out of hibernation, or woke up, or whatever you want to call it. We have been getting new words, in context, left and right, we have been getting appropriate, pretend play, unprompted, and we have been getting helping/showing/doing behaviour.

Normally, a breakthrough like this can be traced to something, a change in diet, schedule, routine, or medication. There haven't been many changes in Thor's world, so we are all at a loss.

Last night, when I told him it was bed time, he grabbed a blanket, climbed into my lap, and pretended to sleep, complete with fake snoring noises. I didn't tell him it was play sleep time, he did it on his own, completely unprompted. You could have heard a pin drop in the room, if not for the "kwaagh-shooo" noise Thor decided was snoring. Whn I have asked him to hand Buddha a sippy cup, he does, making a HUGE production out of it, but the cup gets directly to Buddha. If I ask Thor to go get Hermes for me, he does. Thor will try to say Hermes name, and if that doesn't work, he grabs his hand and says 'come'. He has also been telling us good job, calling us by names or titles, playing nice with the WonderDog, and letting me know that Butter is 'sure good, yep". Thor likes to try and eat sticks of butter-he likes the flavor and the texture, I guess.

Parts of me are thrilled, parts aprehensive, and parts scared. I am thrilled that all of a sudden, something is happening. He still isn't on par with other kids his age yet for speech and reactive listening, but it is getting closer. It is happening in leaps and bounds, almost all at once, a little overwhelming.
The aprehensive part is worried I will toss too much at him at once, and that he will shut down.
The scared part understands that, statistically, this won't last. He might not progress further, but then he might.
Autism spectrum disorders are one of the few disorders that people can sometimes 'snap out of'. It doesn't happen often, but every now and then, the affected person will just...well...be mostly normal. They still have to catch up from where they were, but they no longer have stimming, repetition, and are no longer vacant.
Thor was only two when he was diagnosed. This gave us a much larger 'what if' zone than if he were diagnosed at three. We never really knew where he was on the spectrum, other than at the higher end. We know he has sensory integration issues, and will probably have them his whole life, but as he gets older, we and he will learn more coping techniques. It may be as easy as tinted glasses, and heavy, thick bracelets-He may be forced to be trandy-Oh noes!!!!1 We know he is PDD/NOS-Pervasive developmental disorder-this is because, frankly, he has developed in the wrong order-and is continueing to do so. Things he should have been doing a year ago, he is just starting, heck, somethings that should have happened 18-24 months ago are just starting, but at the same time, his fine motor skills are off the charts, always have been, and when he uses is, his orginazation and labeling skill are off the charts. PDD will eventually even itself out, with a few really awkward periods. It's the NOS part that has always niggled at us. Not Otherwise Specified. They know he is different, they don't know why. He isn't autistic enough to be have autism, but he is to autistic to not have autism.
The doctors have always been honest with me-it could get better, or it could get worse-with his age it wouldn't be stable. I must be ever vigilant for signs of depression, bipolar disorder, and even schizophrenia as he gets older, as no one knows how his brain will protect itself from the sensory issues, and being trapped in itself until the speech develops.
I was cationed, time and again, to not hope for him to get better, because if e didn't, it could be crushing. And even if it is getting better, to look for 'lost' words and activities. If he is gaining at the loss of things he already possesed, it isn't any better.

It seems, right now, that it is getting better. He is starting to seem more and more like a 'normal' kid every day. It'll take time, and lots of work, and we will need to get him into a physical activity-probably gymnastics and martial arts-so he realizes he is stronger than most, and hyper flexible, but also learn control and restraint.
There is a chance that he may lead a somewhat normal life, and I can let myself honestly embrace that hope now.

I know it will get old fast, but...

One of the bain of any parent-of-a-toddler's life is the word 'No!' or the expression 'No! Mine!'
for the last,mmmm, just about year now, I have been praying for those words. Personal pronouns are very important, and many kids on the autism spectrum do not have them. Thor did not have them, recently they would flit in and out of his vocabulary, but never anything concrete, and we never knew that he realized that mine and me meant that this belongs to me, and me is the person who is talking.
In the last few days, no has become a part of the vocabulary, even the crowning phrase, no mine! followed by grabbing the contested item, and holding it to one's chest.
I verified today that Thor understands that no is not affermative, that it is the oppisite of yes, a word he understands, and says, well. We tested this when I was getting Buddha a sippy cup. I asked Thor is he wanted one, and he gayly stomped around the kitchen singing "No nonono No" So I told him I was putting the milk away. He said NO! I asked if he did want a sippy to drink, and he said yes, brought me the sippy, and the lid. I asked if I should give the Sippy to Hermes, he said no, and I asked if Thor wanted it, he held out his hands and said yes.

This exchange is huge. We were on one topic for over a minute. He only used to words, but he had the appropriate actions to go with them. He responded when asked something, and when he didn't have the words he needed, he showed me, and brought me, what he wanted.
We are working on 'Please' and 'Thank you' as well. Thank you is pretty good. It comes out more like sank uu, but it is good. We are realizing, though, that by having him say please. apple. plant, and pineapple and pan and pot that Thor has an issue with the "PL" sound. He can do the 'puh' p noise fine, but the 'pl' feels wrong in his mouth. As much as I don't want him to say the words wrong, I am debating teaching him words the wrong way, and working on the pl combination after he has more practice. He is pleased to say pease for please and be understood. He is frustrated to go pl pl pl, and not be understood.

As happy as I am for new words, I am certain that in about two weeks, I will be sick of No! and Mine!, but for now, they are pure heavenly music.

Cereal in the washer.

As any parent of small children know, odd things will appear in random areas, and no one knows how they got there. Sandwich under the bed? Must be the monsters are hungry again. Spiderman in the toilet? His web must have broke. Hotwheels in the kitchen sink? They must need to be washed. Anything whatsoever in the vacuum? Just wanted to see what it would and wouldn't eat.
No one knows how this happens. Apparently, there are imps whose sole purpose in life are to put things where they don't belong.
Knowing this, I should have checked the washing machine this morning before I put in laundry. I figured, at worse, a toy would be tunbled with the towels and kids clothes. It could be worse, really. Kix cereal has this amazing ability to disintegrate, then reform into some type of super cement. Kix cereal in the washer, with clothes, that I had sincerely hoped would come out cleaner than they went in? Forget it. The clothes and towels are now on their third pass through. I am fairly certain that all the sloppy, wet, the spin dried ceral has been removed, and that this might be the pass it takes for the clothes to get clean. Otherwise, I will have to dry, then shave, everything.

Note to self-always check the washer.