very, very frustrated

my body is doing half of what it should be. It is working, but not hard enough, or not in the right way. Tomorrow, I plan on toeing the line with my doctor, and hoping I come out victorious. I am hoping that I don't need to do that, however, that my body will come around on it's own and get this kid born. More later.

still no baby yet...

Hubby thinks that the kid will hold out untill saturday, April Fools Day, just because that's the sort of sense of humor innate in both our families. I'm placing my money on sometime in the next forty-eight hours. Granted, I could be drastically wrong, and might very well be so, only time will tell, but
I have insider information the rest of the world just cannot have access to. I'll keep everyone posted.

I know I will not be pregnant forever...

it just feels that way, right now

in praise, and criticism, of sleep

Sleep. Ahh, sweet, sweet, elusive, sleep. I have been lacking sleep until very recently. The last two nights, I have been sleeping fairly well. Normally, I would be all "WOOHOO I got to sleep after weeks of getting barely enough to stay alive!!!!"
The last two days, however, I have woken rested, and pissed off. I need the rest, that is indesputable, however, if I am able to get good sleep, the contractions are slacking off at night. This means that each day starts great, ends in discomfort, and instead of having a kid, I go to sleep, my body rests, and we do it all again.
At this point, I have determined that there is nothing I can do to bring on strong labor, and if nothing else, I have a Dr's appointment on friday. Then, if I still am not far enough into labor to go to the hospital and have this child the "natural" way, I can beg, plead, and demand an induction, so that I can finally be done with this pregnancy.

still laboring away

Still stuck at home, waiting for things to pick up to the point where I can either go in and have the baby, or go in and have the Dr assist me in having the baby. I'd like to avoid pitocin this time, but if things don't change soon, my body is going to be so worn out by the time it's "go time" that I might not have much choice. Oddly, I got a lot of sleep last night, but was still exhausted this morning. will give updates as needed

the beauty of the female form, and, well, not so much...

The female body is a miraculous thing, when you think about it. It has the ability to grow and nourish new life. It is round, curvy, soft, comforting, appealing, all at the same time. Being pregnant is a beautiful thing, as is preparing to have a baby...BUT... some of the things the female body does while pregnant and preparing to have a baby, not so much. There's discharge, nausea, diarreah(sic?), profuse sweating, leaking breasts, hemmorhoids, you name it. None of that makes you feel attractive, pretty, or comfy. After the baby there is extreme bleeding, more leaking breasts, even more profuse sweating, hot flashes, cold sweats, and engorgement. Oh, and an increase in flatulence during all of this.

Soon, I will be a mom for the third time, and soon, everything will level back out, but at this precise moment...I feel disgusting!

increasingly uncomfortable

I am becoming increasingly more uncomfortable, and having more problems with concentration, but still nothing significant enough to call the Dr or go in to the hospital. The longer I can hold out at home, and the more progress I can make pre-hospital, the less likely my chances of an induction. Since the contractions are still spaced, I am good, but sore. Soon enough, it will be over, and I will have another babe to show for all my hard work.
I am also at a wierd crossroad of tired, but wanting to do stuff around the house...Damn nesting instinct.

probobilaty

the chances of me having this kid in the next week...pretty good, the chances of me having this kid in the next day?..yeah...not so good. The chances of me having this kid? ONE HUNDRED PERCENT

Dr's appointment today

I have an appointment in 3 hours, 30 minutes. I have no idea why I am awake right now, but I am, and I have this feeling that even though I haven't been bothered by most of my contractions, and even though are are slightly irregular in spacing, and deffinately not closer together than every thirteen minutes, we are going to find out that I am significantly farther along. Maybe not, but I have a pretty good idea of how my body normally feels, and how it is feeling now. Plus, there is that whole joking factor...
I have been joking around with friends and family that I will either go into spontanious labor, water breakage and all, need to go in, in the middle of really bad weather and rush hour traffic, or the kid will come on St patricks day, when a lot of folks'll be out, drinking, so I can be all paranoid about the on-call physicians sobriety. Really, I think I can wait a little bit longer.....
I'll update everyone after I get home from the Dr

progression

things are slowly but deffinately progressing. I am able to feel things more, but still not at a frequency or intensity to worry about. I am hoping that things move faster, rather than slower, largely because I am ready to not be pregnant anymore, and even though nothing is currently painful, it is not comfy-cozy either. More updates as needed

it's tuesday, do you know where your bay update is?

Everything is really, really, good. The babe has dropped, which means labor is impending. When he dropped, something happened that made everything better. We cannot explain it, but everything is...good. No more twice a week non-stress-tests, just my standard, run-of-the-mill weekly check-ups, and we really don't think that I'll need more than my friday appt. before the babe is here. Dr B thinks that maybe, the cord and the Babe had gotten tangled around each other,affecting the heartrate that the monitors were picking up. The nurse thinks the kid just wanted me to be able to get my epidural, if I want it. Either way-I am very happy. I'll keep everyone posted as things develop, and develop quickly, they should.

30 Helens agree

My doctor, myself, my Hubby and most of my family and friends are all of th opinion that the kiddo wants out just about as bad as I want him out at this point. It's looking like if he's not born by the 21(the vernal, or spring, equinox -btw) that we will take stops to get him born. Both of my other sons were born by induction, Bigguy, because my body was not cooperating mith the whole labor process, and Littleman, by scheduled appointment. Babe might go either way, depending, and might not need any chemical help in being born at all. I will keep everyone updated as I know what is going on, and Iwill try and stay coherent, to boot.

I loooove my crockpot!!

Within half an hour of waking up this morning I had everything but the gravy prepared for dinner, and had called maintenece about the clogged tub. Dinner will be done later this evening, and all I have to do is NOT open the lid of my crock-pot. MmmmmMmmm, pork roast and veggies. I love that thing. I put in raw food, turn it on, forget about it, and come dinner time-I have a meal!
According to maintenance I will not have a fully functional bathtub drain until monday, but that's a whole other post.
Oh- and tha Babe is still hanging in there, I will know more on tuesday, but it is looking more and more like I will have a spring equinox baby than an almost easter baby.

everywhere I go...

Everywhere I went today, with one exception, someone wanted to make sure I wasn't going to deliver the baby right then. Because, well, of course, we all know that any ready-to-give-birth-mom will opt for the gas station, grocery store, or a different gas station to deliver in as opposed to say...i don't know... the hospital

my pregnancies and boy scout camping trips don't mix

When I was pregnant with Bigguy, roughly five years ago, I went with the scout troop on a themed weekend camping trip. I was miserable, hugely pregnant, at about seven months along, and surrounded by adolescent and pubescent boys...what was I thinking.

When Bigguy was born, the same scout troop, including the in-laws, were "enjoying" there first day of a weeklong camp-and due to the horrid weather knocking down and taking out cell-phone repeater towers, we were unable to notify them. Luckily, the MIL sensed that something was amiss(given I was in early labor when they left) and turned around to meet Bigguy the next morning.

Many a scout trip was missed by hubby when I was pregnant with Littleman, due to my near constant complications of one sort or another.

This pregnancy, though, well, this is the anti-camping pregnancy all the way. Shortly after we find out about the immpending baby, we did not have enough boys active in the troop to really merit the trips. This weekend, for the first time in about six months, there is a trip scheduled, a trip that is going to have more boys present than adults, a trip Hubby very, very, badly wanted to go on. A trip that he was only going to go on if my doctor cleared it for him to go. I had my first of two scheduled appointment this week, earlier today. My next is on friday. I let Dr B know that I would like his oppinion on if it would be smart to let Hubby go and have fun, something he sorely needs. After assuring me that as long as nothing has changed from the last few weeks it should be no problem, Dr B checks me out, and lets me know that he would be much more comfy if Hubby were to stay, not go.

The changes-well, my contractions are picking up slightly, and I am minorly dilated. This could play out like it did with Littleman, where I spent weeks in limbo, and finally, when we induced, he didn't want to leave his warm womb, or it could be that I will have a new infant in a matter of days. I will keep everyone posted.

So you all know, I am in very minimal discomfort, and I figure I will have to deal with this for at least a full week, if not two. All amniotic fluid is still firmly in place, and being a little dilated (1.5 cm out of ten) with very little effacement, and the kid still hanging out pretty high in the pelvis really is nothing to worry about. I repeat-it could still be weeks. Stay calm, don't all rush out at once to lavish me with baby gifts.

it's friday, that means more baby stuff!!!

Had a rather comical, if not partly frustrating, appointment this morning. C, Dr B's normal nurse, is on vacation for the next week and a half, and R seems to have been assigned to a different Dr, so I had the loverly Nurse Fill-in-for-C, whom will be referred to as That Nurse, for the rest of this post. I get into my examining room, after being weighed. That Nurse immediately asks me why I am having a Non-Stress-Test so early in the pregnancy, I let her know that I am having them twice weekly, why I am having them, and how they have been going so far. while in the precess of taking my once-again-almost-comatose blood pressure, she comments, and I quote-"Oh, Look at that, it's all right here in your chart!"
Where else would the information about my twice-a-week tests be? Hmmmm???
Then, That Nurse gets me up on the table, and starts to hook me up to the machine. "Where does C normally find the baby's heart beat?" - an honest question, and one meant to save us time. I infrom That Nurse that it is normally directly under my belly button. "Well, that can't be right, unless the kids transverse."
"He is"
"Oh, I'm sure he's not, it just feels like he is"
Well, thank you for that amazing bit of insight, That Nurse, like I have not had two other children, and have not discussed the baby's possition, at length, with Dr B and C while weighing the pros and cons of his shifting on his own as opposed to Dr B shifting him.

After 15 minutes of having me lie on my right side, then my left side, then my back, every other variant she can think of, and finally, needing to change out the velcro strap that holds the tranciever onto my belly, because the strap had gotten all gunky with the gel for the tranciever, That Nurse does the unimagineable- she set the damn pick-up right below my belly button, just for a minute, too change out straps. as soon as That Nurse set it down, guess what happened. WE FOUND THE HEART BEAT!!! and did not lose it for the mere thirty minutes that I needed to be hooked up for. Once we had him in the radar, so to speak, Baby#3 was very cooperative. When Dr B came in to let me know all was good, I let him know I never want to have That Nurse again please, and was shocked to find out she had already filled him in on what went down. Dr B understands, and had a chat with her consisting of him infroming her that most of his patients know what's what, and maybe she should remember that, Hmmmmm?

Also, My appointments are now going to be on tuesdays and friday, so as to have a more even spacing to them, so update days will be changing accordingly.

Oh, and everythings cleared till Tuesday, barring any changes.

my first baby is growing up *sniff*

In just over two hours, Bigguy and I will be going to V.V. Elementary School, so that he may meet the kindergarten teachers, see the school, and so that I may get the information and paperwork required to start him in kindergarten in the fall, and a pre-kindergarten summer program. He is so excited! He took a bath, washed his hair, helped me pick out his clothes, and sat nicely while I combed the tangles out.

"Momma," he asked,"Is my hair long enough for a ponytailer yet?"
"Nope, not yet, but as long as we take good care of it, it will get long enough soon, and as long as we take care of it, we'll let you keep growing it. if you stop brushing it, or stop letting me and Poppa brush it, we'll have to get a haircut."
"I know, I know, sheesh, I just wanted to know if I could ponytailer it so I would look good for my teacher and all my new girlfriends!!"

He cracks me up. Of course, he is the child who announced, fresh from the tub, "Mommaaaaa, I need you to help me with this green towel, I am very naked you know!"

Unfortunately, due to a coworkers injury, Hubby has to close up shop at work tonight and will be unable to attend the open house/registration event. I asked him if there was anything he felt the teachers should know right of the bat? His reply was a simple
"May god go with them, and protect them from our evil mastermind overlord"

baby info and update

aside from my bloodpressure being all over the charts, my weight doing it's own thing, having rather stable, yet still fairly spaced, contractions, and that whole heart-rate thing-everything is fine. There is nothing to seee here folks, move along, carry on, etc.
Seriously, I am still being cleared only for a few days at a shot, but everything that is not abnormal is just the way it should be.

see-saw, rollercoaster, merry-go-round, or whatever else you want to call it

I just want to roller coaster to stop, someone to help me off, and find a nice bench to sit on and eat icecream at while the world passes me by.

zen

Myself, Hubby, and some of our closer friends joke about Baby#3 being very Zen, chill and over all relaxed. Since we cannot pin point why his resting heart-rate is so low, and why he can go from being very active to very, well, calm, in a short time frame, we just convinve ourselves that he is at peace with the world around him, and relaxed.
Honestly, I am scared half to death that something is very wrong, but each day that passes makes me a little more calm, a little less worried. Each day that passes will make him that much less premature, and if we can just hold out for three more weeks, just twenty-one days we will be all good.
I have a feeling that no matter what this one looks like, how big or small he is, or even how much he fusses, that there is a very good chance that he will end up having Buddha for a nickname, being he is so zen and chill now.

Bad record keeping can affect others

So I had yet another in a long stream of FNST's this morning. Baby#3 was being persnickity and not wanting to cooperate, which I kept teliing Dr B and Nurse C proved he was just fine. Near the end of my appointment, I reminded Dr B of my "standard" pre-natal next wednesdy, as well as another FNST, when Dr B hits me with the shocking question o the day
"What's your due date again?"
I informed him that the technical due date is April tenth, and he replies "Hunh, that's a ways out yet, in't it?"
"Well, yeah, that's why all the concern and stuff, why?"
"The way Dr A has it written in your records, it looks like the due date is March 30th."
"No. March 30th is wat we were thinking before the ultrasound. All the ultra sounds up till this point have said the exact same thing-April 10."
"Well then, expect your wed. appt. to last a little longer than expected, so we can go over all the information a little better, and weigh all your options then."

Apparently, what happened is this. Instead of useing the lines on my chart provided for writing down estimated due date as factored by last menstrual cycle, and due date as determined by ultrasound(the more effective method), Dr A just kind of randomly jotted all this in the corner, and did it at a crooked diagonal, so it looked like we first thought the kid would be due in April, but it was actually due in March. A week and a half doesn't sound like a long time, but in the land of gestation, it is sometimes critical.
Dr B feels bad, but it isn't his fault, really. By wednseday noonish I will have a much better idea of what is going on, and when to expect the baby.

just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water....Duh duhn Duhduhn

So I woke up this morning, went to the doctors for my non stress test, and ten minutes after being strapped in, find out that Dr B was called away on an emergency. His nurse, C (I kid you not, I went from Dr A to Dr B and Dr B's nurse has the first initial C, his other nurse is R, btw), is a very senior, very experienced, very sweet woman. She finished out the test, hmmed and hawed, looked at my other information, hmmed and hawed some more, and let me know that Dr B was probably going to want to see me back in the clinic...today, waiting until ass early friday morning might just not be good enough. I drive home, fill Hubby in on the news and try not to panic.

See, here's the deal, with apologies to Mom for not calling her to fill her in, but I don't have her work number, and I didn't want to make her worry without reason. Yesterday, my Braxton-Hicks contractions (damn them!!!!) started to intensify, and Baby#3 started to move AGAINST them, which is very uncomfortable. Imagine shrinkwrapping a dry sponge, poking a small hole in the wrap, and then dunking it in water. The resulting sponge fighting to expand against something unwilling to give scenario is what it felt like was being played out inside my uterus. None to happy.
This morning, they weigh me, and all said and done, that was relatively harmless. Then they took my blood pressure, a task which is normally rather pleasent, especially when you get to watch the nurses try to figure out if you can actually be alive with a blood pressure that low.
"Hmm" said C...she said the same thing last friday, then noticed she needed a alrger cuff, and it was then followed by "Huh, you got low pressure, don'tya!" So naturally I was expecting the same thing today. instead, I got
"Hmm, this is looking high, and I double checked it."
I filled her in on the cramping and contracting, but assured her that I thought it was nothing to worry about, or I would have called last night. Pro'lly just the old B-H again. Well, after looking at the read-out of the FNST, it turns out that I am having "real" contractions.

Dr B got back to the office, and C gave me a call a little bit ago. Since he has to see me Friday AM, unless there is any number of a long list of changes, we will not worry. I am to rest, drink plenty of fluids, and eliminate as much stress and worry as I can. But! But, if any single thing on the long list of things to watch for should happen or change-I must call immediately to get in A.S.A.P to be seen...but don't worry...and try to rest...

left home a baby, came back a boy

Bigguy and Littleman spent the weekend with the in-laws. When they left, Litleman was still my baby. Yeah, he's 16 months old now, but he still looked like a baby. Pudgy cheeks, teeeth open-tongue-sticky-out-smile, kinda shakey with movements outside of the "comfort zone", any parent gets the idea. When he came home on sunday, not even a full forty-eight hours later, he wasn't my baby any more. Now, he is my little boy. The cheeks aren't as pudgy, the smile is that of a boy, not a baby, his movements are sure, and controlled.
My sister, when I called her this morning to tell her, remeberred immediately when it happened to Bigguy. Hubby also remembers clearly when it happened with Bigguy. I know it happened before, but the memory of it is hazy, it doesn't seem like it struck me all at once like it did now. I am stuck wondering if I have enough pictures of his 'babyface', and looking for the endearing mannerisms that were present just a few days ago.
Soon, I will have another, and once more will have to remember every baby thing, because the grow so fast.

posting may become sporadic

I do not know how regularly or often I will be posting for the up and coming future. I am going to have to go in twice a week to have a fetal non-stress-test done until one of two things happen-they figure out why Baby#3's resting heart rate is so low, while the rest of the time(like when he is almost constantly moving) it is where it should be, or until the doctors or mother nature decide it's time for #3 to be born. I have been instructed to eliminate unneccesary stress and worry from my life until this happens, and so the blog is not my top priority, but if I have the time, or the need, I'll give an update, and whatever else comes to mind.

Oh, and speaking of what comes to mind...

If anyone is in the mood to spend lots of money on cloth daipering products for me, here are links to two different, complete packages that I wouldn't mind having- a cheaper, but more labor intensive one and a more expensive, but less labor intensive one. Theoretically, either package would get me from birth to potty training, but we all know in reality, I will need to purchase more of either at some point or another, for any number of reasons. Just thought I'd put the info out there if anyone wants to help out. If you didn't want to buy an entire package, I would be happy with any parts thereof.

uhh...oops....

Yeah, any instance, including the title, in the last post where you see the word daiper-yeah...that should be spelled d-i-a-p-e-r. I've always had issues spelling that. That and beige-beige lost me a spelling be first place once...lousy beige...shouldn't be allowed to give you that one after weird...lousy weird, not following the rules of the english language... i before e my ass....

daiper debates, and spoken word frustrastion

It is now time to open the debate, once again, on cloth vs. disposable whne it concerns daipers. Bigguy wore disposables, Littleman also wears disposables. We thought about cloth with Littleman, but due to the fact that we were living with the in-laws, the issues that bogarting the washer could've caused, and the price of a daiper service-disposables won out. There are definate advanteges to being able to toss an icky daiper, and some drawbacks as well. One of the big draw backs is the dreaded Daiper Rash. Littleman has a very sensitive bumm, is prone to nasty rashes, and apparently, partly due to the sensitivity, partly due to the exczema, and partly due to who knows what, is prone to baby bum yeast infections. Now, for those of you going EEEWWWWW, its just another type of rash, easily treatable, not like a "womanly" yeast infection at all. Bigguy got some nasty rashes, but not nearly to the extant that Littleman has. Allegedly, cloth daipers help prevent daiper rash, yeast infections and the like.
Financially-cloth is a larger initial output, but over the long run, it's cheaper. especially while we are in the townhomes and don't pay for water, but if it is soiled while we are out and about-well, tough cookies. Maybe we will settle on a combination of the two?? I don't know.

I would really appreciate any input others would be able to give on this subject-however-if your arguement is going to boil down to nothing other than the environmental ramifications, I've already heard it.

Now, the "spoken word frustration" portion of this entry. I have been having alot of dificulties with the spoken word the last few days, lots of stuttering, spoonerisms, and "verbal dyslexia". I don't know what is causing it, just that it's really annoying. I've been chalking it up to the pregnancy, Hubby suggested brain tumor, and another friend suggested that I was just going dumb, along with being really irrational-so if anyone wants to chime in with possible causes or helpful hints-that too would be appreciated.

"nesting" instincts

The housewife, in the wild, will experience what is referred to as the "nesting instinct" towards the end of her pregnancy. This instinct is rather productive in nature, as it compells the HW2K to have everything clean and ready for the baby. Bags need to be packed for the hospital, bassinet bedding needs to be cleaned, the layette needs to be found or purchased, basic necessities for post-partum life need to be readily available, and most importantly to the wild housewife, everything needs to be SPOTLESS. Cleaning becomes an obsession, however, in the early stages of "nesting" it is an on-again-off-again obsession. One that only really hits at inopportune times, like the desire to clean her sons room, when her sons are asleep, and will undoubtedly be awoken by the clanging. Or the urge to do all the laundry in the house, when the basement dwelling roommates are asleep, or the urge to do anything, when, quite frankly, she should be asleep.
Woe for the Hubby of the housewife, for he is certain that she is going crazy, and there is nothing he can do but tell her to go back to sleep, it is not wise to bake oatmeal cookies, mop the kitchen, and make a quilt at four thirty in the morning.

tired and cranky

I slept rather poorly last night, but still better than the night before. I have entered the "Discomfort Zone".
Yes, folks, enter the "Discomfort Zone" and marvel at how the only comfortable possitions to lie down in are the two possitions that cause severe leg cramping, or make you need to pee!
"Discomfort Zone" Stand in awe when you realize that in the next six to nine weeks, the baby inside of you will DOUBLE it's current weight and add up to six more inches! You thought the movements were painfull now?
"Discomfort Zone" Thrilled with the knowledge that your back is finally starting to correct itself, mourn the loss of properly functioning hips! Who needs to stand, walk, and sit comfortably, or at all?
"Discomfort Zone" Remember folks, that even though they can be painful, Braxton Hicks contractions don't do anything productive, they are just annoying.
Yes, you too can visit the discomfort zone, just get pregnant, and wait thirty or so weeks!

feeling pregnant, purple-monkey

Last night was not a great night. I was having some painful Braxton-Hicks contraction, Littleman didn't want to sleep because he's teething a molar, and Bigguyy didn't want to sleep because, well...all we can figure is he's afraid he's gonna miss something. I fell asleep fairly easily once I lay down, but I was unable to stay asleep, and since I am on a new and comfy bed, it was something on my end waking me up. It looks and feels like Baby#3 has moved himself down a little in utero, and that is probably why everything is less than copacetic right now.
in other news-Bigguy will be registered for Kindergarten in a month, and having a session of preschool over the summer. I no longer question whether or not Bigguy is ready for school, I do, however, question school's readiness for Bigguy.
Apparently, I am a purple-monkey head, because I will not let Bigguy have marichino cherries for breakfast. Man I love the insults of childhood!
Littleman has been very frustrated as of late because he is figuring out the whole walking and talking thing that has been eluding him, but he is getting it all at once, and therefor still unable to succesfully do either.
Theres an update for now,
purple-monkey head signing off

one week

It's been a week since my last post-"the smell of sunday". Since then I have started, stopped, and deleted many attempted postings, because I just like the last one so much, and I don't know how my normal writings would look when sandwiched around it.
I have been exceedingly busy as of late, but will resume a half-assed regular posting schedule sometime soon=pro'lly during the week.

The smell of sunday

I recently realized that one of the things missing in my life was the smell of sunday. This was an odd realization, because I didn't realize that days of the week has a scent in the first place, and that, given this information, sunday didn't smell like what I thought.
Until about three weeks ago, I would wager that sunday smelled like food. Eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, gravy, pancakes, and sweet rolls in the mornings, long cooked meal in the evening. Orange juice, coffee, tea, and cold milk at anypoint in between. Now, all these are part of the smell, but only part. What had been missing was the scents of cleaning. Not a clean smell, that is different, but the smells of the vacuum, fresh mop water, glass cleaner, kitchen cleaner, dish soap and dishwasher detergent, laundry soap, an dryer sheets, all rolled into an amalgam.
Clean is a smell relatively pleasant, but devoid of anything in particular. cleaning is a combination of scents, astringent, sweet, warm and mechanical, cool water down the disposal, wiped off counters....

Sundays are chore day in my house. Monday mornings, the house smells clean, before it smells like coffee, but sunday nights, it smells like home should...lived in, improving, changing, growing, accomedating, welcoming, comforting.

never enough time-hectic! hectic! vs all's good, plenty of time, calm

All last week I was able to stay nicely on top of things, my house stayed clean, my dishes stayed done, my meals were planned, and my kids were happy. I was even waking up earlier to take care of BabyBear. This week, I have had a much more hectic and rushed, not enough time, sort of feeling. We were all sick over the weekend, and most of us are still in recovery. The house is still clean, and way cleaner than what I used to call clean, but not as tidy as I'd like, just some general clutter type things. I haven't let my dishes pile up, but I haven't been steying completely on top of them either. I couldn't figure out why I had plenty of time and energy last week, but was feeling so bogged down thus far this week. At first, I thought it must be the change in hours I was keeping, but no, I was getting less sleep at night, so napping off and on during the day, when able, so that wasn't it. Then I thought that it must be that we ahve all been sick. Yeah! That must be it, but, no...that's not it either. Hubby was home both monday and tuesday, anything that I felt really needed to be worked on, I could've done. Wait a minute, let's back up a sentence, "...anything I felt really needed to be worked on...: Ahhh, we've found the difference. Last week I just did. I decided what needed to be done, and I did it, immediately, or as close to immediately as I could. It never took long, and it was over, and thus plenty of time and calm. This week, I have been a procrastinator. I have put off doing things until they HAD to be done. When this happens, almost everything HAS to be done, AT ONCE!!! Okay, I think I found it. To quote trite and cliche'd commercials from my youth- "Just Do It".

Oddly enough, the key to my having enough time seems to be doing more, more often. Not doing everything, not doing too much, but doing just over enough, on a regular basis, and you start to get ahead. Somehow, I think my finances are working in the same way, as is almost everything else. If I keep up with being calm and getting it done, I will have the time to take care of me, even after baby#3 arrives, and I like that, I need that.

Calm
Breathe
Do

The incredible growing toddler, plus the w-2 that ate Eagan

Littleman might need a new blog-name. He is fifteen months old today, now firmly entrenched in being a toddler. He had himself a well child check-up today that included two shots( MMR and DTp-I immunize my children, I have no moral or ethical qualms with doing such, and even allow product that might be animal based-GASP!!, plus I know what all the acronyms and abbreviations mean!) He is cranky because of this, but get's some wee one tylenol-so that's OK. We also weighed, measured length, and measured head circumference. He is 26pounds 12.75 ounces (%80 for kids his age-meaning only %20 of 15 month olds are heavier) 33and a half inches (%97), and his head? 19.75, that equals out to %99. Big damn head!

Hubby got his W-2 form today. That means that I get to file our taxes!!! Well, I get to e-file our fed. If I want to e-file state, I have to wait...that sucks..but YAY Tax Return time!!!!

not enough sleep, too much weight, there really is a connection!!

I was baffled when my doctors suggested sleeping more as a way to cope with my excess weight gain. This baffled me, but went well with their suggestions of getting more rest, more excersize, and less stress-if I could do all of those things-I would be thrilled. I figured that more sleep would equal more energy, so I could excersize more, excersize decreases stress levels-supposedly, I'd be getting better rest afterwards, and so on, and so on, and so on....
It turns out that not getting enough sleep causes your body to produce deficient amounts of a protien/chemical/hormone/something called Liptin. Liptin is produced when you are full, it tells your body to stop craving carbohydrates. If you are not producing enough, you will have fierce carb cravings, no matter how full you are, and we all know a craving will not go away unless it's fed. Well, these cravings won't! It's Evil!!
Iffin I were not preggers, there is a medication that could be given untill I am able to get enough sleep again, but untill I either have the kid and quit breastfeeding, or until I get enough sleep and rest and excersize for my body to self correct the problem, I'm SOL.
Oh, and lets not forget that excess carbs can affect insulin levels, and WHEEE, more things to toss on the pile.
What the game plan is for now, is to take things easy, and get my nose to the excersize grindstone after the babe is born.

feeling "housewifey"

This weekend was the inaugeral weekend for the "Chore Wheel". Marvel at it's organization glory! For those of you who are not in the know, a chore wheel is a way to evenly and fairly devide the household chores amongst the populace of a home. In our case, we have four people of weekly chore doing age, and made four groups of chores. Everyweek the wheel rotates, so throughout the course of a month, everyone will have cleaned every common area once. On top of this is the general care and maintenance, but with the rest of the house clean, I can focus on the maintenance. I have had a clean house, with everyone fed, and the dishes done, by no later than eight p.m. for the last few days. I have been able to make and drink coffee, in the mornings, with no problems or guilt-my kitchen and living room are clean! (I did not make coffee this morning, as my Crock-Pot was taking up the outlet normally made available for the coffeepot, and I didn't feel like moving the pot.)
I still need to do the boys room-but it is a little overwhelming. small children have a lot of stuff, and the stuff gets all over, and we are working with Bigguy on taking care of his stuff, a concept he is much better at since we began enforcing a one-toy-or-set-at-a-time policy, but the stuff that was already out needs a home! I can work on their room now, and know that the rest of the house has been taken care of, so that if someone is in the area, and just happens in-I do not need to appologize for the mess! I feel like a good housewife right now-and it's nice.

pain meds...ladedadeda

First, I am on Percoset right now, and for those of you who do not know, that is oxycodone and acitominophine-wheeeee- appaerently, oxycodone will pass into breastmilk but will not cross the placenta-whereas codine-which isn't as strong, will not enter breastmilk, but could potentially fuck up a fetus by crossing the plecanta like mad.
A brief baby timeline update-optimally, I will have baby#3 in early april, pre tax-day, post april fool's day. Anytime after about the thirteenth of march(just over nine weeks from now), though technically early, would put us in the clear devolopmentally, lungs fully formed, and not technically a preemie, just a little early to the party. Also, if the Dr's have any concerns about my health, 3/13 is the date they do not want to deliver before if at all possible. Since my blood pressure is good, and I have no abnormal protiens or sugars as of yet, we will not worry about that. Between march 1 and march 13 is doable if absolutely neccesarry with very little risk, as long as we have 24-48 hours within which to administer a specific sterioid in shot form to jump start fetal lung maturaty, and thus, be mostly ok after some brief monitoring. anything before then(so any time in january or february) is moslty forbidden-so untill we hit the safety point-no stress, less sodium, more excersize(but not exhaustive excersize-no heart rate over 140bpm for me), more rest, and more sleep. Weeeee

thoughts on life and death

I cannot quite remember how old I was when I realized death was permanent. When I was rather young, I want to say 7, I visited my dad and step-family in california. When I came home, both my "grandfather"-(my mom's step-dad) and my best friend at the time, another 7 year old girl had passed away. I remember being much more upset about my friend, and feeling guilty that I missed her more, but I also remember thinking that it would be ok, I could make it up to them later. I know that when my grandpa-(my dad's dad), passed on, I was 11, and I knew he wasn't coming back, no matter how much I wanted him to, if for no other reason than to yell at him for being gone.
In Bigguy's four and a half years on this planet, we have had, on average, one funeral a year to attend. Actually, I think it was two his first year, then a year off, then one a year since, but on average, one a year. He has attended all but the very first, as he would not have been more than six months. Oddly enough, we brought him to the next funeral, when he was only about nine months without a second thought. When we had a beloved pet die, we explained to him, at three, that the cat was gone, and wasn't coming back, but might have some sort of kitty afterlife. He seemed satisfied with that. When his brother was born, just a few months later-I allowed Bigguy into the dilivery room, but only in between rather painful contraction, and only when I was fully covered.
It's odd, according to some of my friends, that I let him be exposed to death, but I do not let him witness a new life come into the world. For a while, I could not come up with what I felt was a valid arguement other than the trump of "I'm his mother, and that's how I do it." Over the last few months, however, I have come up with a much more satisfactory(in my mind) answer, one that I am going to share here.
It has been proven that when a small child, and by small child, I am referring to any child under the age of eight-needs a secondary support person, just for them, if they are to witness their mother giving birth. It is an overwhelming sensation on many levels-beside being very graphic visually, the sounds are frightening, and they do not cope well with seeing anyone in pain, let alone a parent. Secondly-and quite possibly most importantly-My son witnessed funerals and wakes, the rituals we surround ourselves in to mourn someones passing and celebrate their lives-he did not witness an actual death. He has seen a brand new, minutes old, baby, and knows that the baby grew inside a mommy, and that the baby came out of mommy-he has been at showers for babies, and has attended birthday parties-both his own and others. He does not need to witness a live birth, by a family member, to understand the concept.
Maybe, as he gets older, he will have some issues, like I did, with understanding completely that they don't come back, but I also think he will realize that as long as you remember-they are never truely gone.


As an aside-this is very near the aniversary of the arson fire that caused the death of a family member, and the destruction of many objects that we can never get back. Make sure you make copies of pictures, and documentation you want your family to have, and put them somewhere safe. Also, make sure your loved ones know they are loved, you never know when it will be too late.

Good news

Of our two basement-dwelling roommates, one is Bro-in-law, and the other is a good friend. Good friend just took his liscence test today, and he passed, just barely, but passed none the less. Now he just needs to get a car and my life becomes a little bit easier. Now that everyone with the exception of Hubby is liscenced(of the people who are of age), Hubby can get in gear to get his test taken. He plans on being street legal by the time baby#3 is born, even if that means taking his test in the snow and ice. WooHoo. Coupled with the work we will be having done to the mini-van with some of our tax return $$, and we will be a fully mobile household.

More good news-my Dr has cleared my for the next three weeks. To be clear, three weeks from now would still be way too early for baby#3 to be born, but I shouldn't go into labor before then, or immediately afterwards. I am supposed to get more rast, more excercize(sic), less sodium, more sleep, and the big one-Less Stress-yeah, like I can just eliminate stress at will, and I haven't yet. We are still having an almost unheard of weight-gain, especially when my diet is taken into account, but everything else is liiking relatively ok. My back is f!@#ed up, but I have some handy-dandy pain killers to take at bedtime, thus relieving the back pain and helping with the sleep. Also, proper excercize should help alleviate back tension and if we can control the weight, that should help. All else failing, I hope for a healthy babe, and start doing Pilates ASAP after the kid is born. I really like Pilates, but cannot do it while pregnant, and I don't like the versions that have been modified for pregnancy.

Defunct-Dad news-I still haven't heard anything, and after my innitial rant about what a bastard he is for letting his grandkids go without a fight, I really couldn't care less. I have decided that this year I will celebrate what I have, and be good with that.

Mmmmm...

Ben and Jerry are gods who fell to earth, and Chunky Monkey is the manna they brought forth.

we survived!!!

Christmas is over, and we survived! All in all I don't think it went too bad, being my first year hosting. Nobody severed a limb, or set themselves on fire, and even though I burnt two fingers making breakfast, they aren't too badly burnt. I have many ideas of things I will change for next year. First and formost, I will have more seating, and I will have a more open design to my furniture, enableing people to sit more comfortably. I will make sure there is ample room at the table, and probably purchase a card table, just to be sure-aside from that-the morning portion is pretty smooth. The evening, however, will be much, much different. I will plan the meal carefully ahead of time, and it will probably end up being a meat/cheese/veggie spread unless someone other than Auntie is willing to come over and help me cook-I had offers of help, just not enough prep on my part to be able to accept said offers. Two-I will have a set time that food will be ready at, and iffen you are not here at that time, tough nookies, you get what you get.Third, and joint with the last, I will not ask anybody to bring anything unless I am fairly certain they will be here when they say they will, not two and a half hours later.
Some people might be asking themselves why I want to host again next year, with my mini-list of bitching and moaning above-Quite simply, even with all the cleaning, cooking, rearrangeing and prep-work-it will be easier than carting three kids around all day long. Kids who will get easily over stimulated and cranky, and if we are at home, can remove themselves to their room. Also, I have no desire to load the van up with what will equal 1 infant seat, 1 car seat, 1 booster seat, two parents, and presents, even more presents going home. Nope-just gonna stay home and make everyone come to me.


The boys did good. The slept most of the day on monday, and were not really themselves again until tuesday evening. Theor festivities lasted longer, and they tire more quickly. Hubby managed not to be too terribly Scroogey, and even left the computer room to eat, open presents, and some minor socialization. I think I did fairly well, but everything hit me up alongside the back of the head on tuesday morning. I woke up just long enough to figure out I felt like crap, and went back to bed. Hubby did a magnificant job of taking care of everything around the house, and not panicking too badly. Until the Dr puts a firmer percentage on my chances of popping premature, Hubby is easily panicked by any aches, pains, or tiredness he deems unnusual. Also, I am now having some truely awesome heartburn and acid reflux issues, and get to go pick up some meds for that tonight so that I can hopefully sleep in a semi reclined possition again.

For the record-the house was very clean for the holiday, I had handtowels in the bathroom, plenty of clean dishes, and it is once again clean. There are some toys about, but the get put away at night. It is not as clean as it was christmas morning, but it is still very clean-YAY US. Also YAY for the guys who pitched in a lot to clean the main floor, and ultra YAY yo Bro-in-law, who single handedly saved christmas breakfast by going on a bisuit hunt for me!

'Twas a few nights before christmas....

'Twas a few night before christmas, whne all thruogh the house, elephants could have been marching...I ended up going to bed before ten pm last night, something unheard of for me. With the boys gone untill later today, and the shopping, and cleaning, and Hubby's abnormal snoring, I haven't been sleeping well, add to that being in the third trimester of pregnancy with a very, very, active fetus, and I was wiped. On the plus side-I finished all of our christmas shopping and wrapping last night, and seperated out the gifts that need to come with today. I only have a few minor areas to clean and vaccum, then thats done-well-that and the boysroom, but hey-if it gets done a little late-no sweat, right? I have to hit the grocery store, but Cub is open till four and I am leaving in half an hour, there cannot be too many people shopping at 9 am, Can there?

I will not be posting anything else till after christmas day has passed, and I have the boys calmed down a little more. I will be BabyBear free both Monday and tuesday, so will have plenty of time to assemble, find batteries, and what not.

Also, it appears that the mail runs today, but not on monday...Hmmmm

cleaning, physically and mentally

I have been cleaning the house in preperation for Christmas. Really cleaning, I sppose the best wy to describe it would be spring cleaning, in the winter, minus the airing out part, eing until today, it has been below freezing out, and between small children and small animals, we need to keep the house warm. Anyways, I am cleaning, and moreover, decluttering. The boys room will be done late friday night, when they will both be gone, and it will be finished, and many things will be romoved and never missed. My room, well, it'll get done sometime after Christmas, even though I know it should be a priority, it isn't, as long as I can safely manuever, and keep my clean and dirty stuff separate, it can wait. The common areas, however, are starting to look good. It is a slow process, but that is because it is being done right. I don't want my house to just look clean, I want it to actually be CLEAN. I will be scrubbing down the bathrooms after BabyBear gets picked up, he is less than six months, and I don''t want him to have a bad reaction to any cleaning supplies, but everything else will hopefully be done before then. Boxes will be emptied, stored, or gotten rid of if I cannot find their contents a home, floors will be vacuumed, furniture will be dusted, shelves will be organized, and once done, it will be kept that way. Everyone of an age to help cleanup has been informed that it will be staying clean, under penalty of pissing off the pregnant woman who makes their meals!

What I am finding, though, is that as the house is getting clean, everything else is getting less hectic, a little more calm, and a little less troubled. As the floor is taken care of, Littleman has a place to roam, which reminds me of the need for baby gates, Bigguy has areas where he can color, or have a toy out, ONE AT A TIME!!!, and I am able to think more clearly. Hubby is less stressed whne he gets home from work, and I am less stressed because I am less worried. This all gives me time to collect myself, my thoughts, and my mind. It's starting to give me time to relax-without feeling guilty for it. I see this trend continueing, and that is good. I see Bigguy playing in his room after christmas, instead of wanting to play in the kitchen while I am trying to cook. I see Littleman walking, cause he'll have all the clutter free space he needs.

Generally, I do not make New Years resolutions, i feel that if something neds changeing, you should resolve to change it when the impact fully hits you. Even with everything I've delt with, and all the clutter I've always had around me, I resolve to keep my world within the walls of my house clean and relatively clutter free. I resolve to keep the boys home and homelife as chaos free as possible, and I resolve to not feel guilty if it takes me a few tries to get everything right. I can try to be supermom, but I am only me, and I need to remember that.

May your holidays be relatively chaos free, comfortable, and full of love.

Christmas and nudity

Bigguy is a natural nudist. Maybe it's from being born during a very hot summer, naybe it's because I never forced him to stay dressed, either way, he likes to be naked. Now that he is older we have him to a point where he keeps his underwear on almost all of the time, and generally, if we are not leaving the house, I can talk him into a pair of pants-generally through threatening his computer time, but he is in pants nonetheless. Just now I finished a conversation with him that I will be having everyday until after christmas. It is the talk wherein I remind him that even though Christmas is going to be at our house this year, he still has to get dressed. Yes, pajammies (I love how he says that!) count as clothing, and yes, he has to keep dressed the ENTIRE time that we have company. Company is anyone that does not live in our house. Yes, everyone will know that he is wearing underwear even if they do not see it. No, he does not have to announce when he poops, and yes, he does have to close the bathroom door. Yes, he even has to be dressed when he is eating, and no, I am not worried about him spilling on his clothing and staining it-we can wash it. Yes, everyone else will be wearing cl;othes, even his little brother...well, no, the new baby won't be wearing clothes, 'cause he won't be born yet, but momma will be wearing clothes. Yes, I am sure that Poppa Jazzdad will be very proud that you are wearing clean underwear, and that you don't have to show him, and Auntie Sistah-girl and Uncle Rice will both be here, and yes, they will see that you are wearing clothes.
Imagine that, multipl times, daiy, for the next five days.

Merry Christmas!

personal thoughts on being a dad, made less personal by posting them here

Growing up, I thought for a while that I had two dads. Sistah-girl and I are half sisters, we share a mom, but have different dads. That a pretty forign concept for a small girl to fully understand, so I was certain I had two dads. As I got older, it slowly dawned on me that neither of them were very good at being a dad. My dad was gone most of the time between my being three and eight an a half. He ran off to the navy, and I saw him twice a year, if I was lucky. During this time, he married Evil-step-mom, and made a family that very neatly excluded me, then, when he came back, tried very hard to force me to fit in, also trying to convince me that living with him and ESM would be better. In retrospect, it would have been horrid. Sistah-girls dad just, well,...he didn't to too hot either. I had uncles, and mom dated, but I never really saw what a good dad was like, up close and personal, until Jazz-dad. He is a good father to his own kids, and a very good father to me and Sista-girl, and I know I don't tell him this enough, because I don't know exactly how to tell him this in the first place...Something just feels awkward about sitting down one day and going- "Excuse me, Jazzdad? Thanks for being a good dad, and for being there for us." OK, on paper it looks easy, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet.
Hubby, I think, is a good dad. He is a little hard, sometimes, but for the most part he is good. Also, he realizes that I do not get a day off from being a mom, full time, and is doing much better at spending time with the boys so I can have some "me time". What really impresses me about Hubby is that he had no real idea of what he would be getting into, no one other than uncles to speak to about being a dad, since he never knew who is dad was. My sons have two really good grandfathers, neither of whom are related by blood. Jazzdad is wonderful, but that isn't surprising, he was and is, a good dad. Then there is Father-in-law. Hubby's step-dad, basically. He wasn't, and sometimes isn't, a very good dad, but he is a very good grandpa as well, in a different way than Jazzdad, but still good. I hope that my boys grow up one day to be good dads, but they have good rolemodels, so that should help.

Yet another installment of "Ask Housewife"

Recently some asked me "Housewife2000, How on earth do you do all your Christmas shopping while pregnant, and having two kids?"
Well, valued readers, I'll share my secrets. If at all possible, I avoid it. I will write detailed lists of what I need, and send others to do my bidding...namely Hubby. Failing that, I go on weekdays around midmorning...after work starts, but before lunchtime-around 10ish, if I can get someone to watch the boys, or I go in the middle of the night. Barring all of those options, I do what anyone else does. Shops at the last minute, while vowing not to do it again, knowing I will next year and it'll be even worse, and going home to pass out before wrapping everything and taking massive amounts of ibuprofin to get the headache brought on by thousands of screaming children to abate.

Next!
"Hey, HW2K!! How do you deal with your tree with the kids and all?"
Well, to be honest, this will be my first year with kids and a tree to worry about. Here's what we're gonna do- As much as it hurts-I will be using a fake tree-yes a FAKE TREE, needles can be poisenous, painfuk and all around dangerous to the crawling and just starting to walk set, with #3 on the way, I am gaurenteed a crawler next year as well, so we bought a tree in a box. Second-NO BREAKABLE OR HEIRLOOM ORNAMENTS-you would think this is commen sense, but many a person has made the mistake of overestimating their childs good behaviour in the past, and lost something irreplaceable. Third- pretty much all the lights, garland and ornaments will be on the upper two thirds of the tree. For pictures the presents will be possitioned in such a way as to where it isn't noticable-that or I won't give a damn-I got kids-remember!?

"Housewife,"some one else asked, "How do you keep your kids out of the presents before it's time to open them?"
Your kidding, right? I have problems keeping myself out of the gifts. You just keep an eye on 'em. just like everything else.

Well, that's about all for now-time to go and clean for the rearrangeing so that we have a home for the tree-hopefully minimal rearrangeing only

snotty noses

Littleman had to be brought to the doctors today. His normal doctor was out of the office, her own child is ill, so we saw one of the other pediatricians. His first response was "WOW, 27 pounds at fourteen months! He's a big'un!" Dr V-something-eastern-european-that-I-can-neither-pronounce-remember-nor-spell then let me know that it is a sinus infection. Rather a Sinus Infection, capitol letters. Apparently it is possible to have both a viral and a bacterial infection at the exact same time. Giving a 'scrip for the bacterial won't do any real good until the viral is gone, and by the time the virus is gone, the bacterial will have largely run it's course. What Dr V did impart to me was the knowledge of what over the counters to give Littleman, and in what dosages, to clear everything up. All said and done, even with the box of Kleenex, I spent less that I would've on a prescription, and get the benifits of med induced drowsiness to boot. YAY!!!

Bigguy, btw, is just fine, a little feverish, but nothing to worry about and no more snotty-nose.

really, I have nothing at all of interest to say right now. I cannot even convince myself of it's preintabilaty. I just wanted to put something down in bloggy form right now to give me a very temporary respite from the land of whiny, crying, snotty-nosed children with colds. by the way. my usage of the term "snotty-nosed" is to be taken litterally, not figuratively- I have a house full of children, under the age of five, only on of whome speaks clearly, and that's on a good day, with snotty noses, weepy eyes, and sneezes. Yay for me!

of birthdays and food

It's my birthday! I'm gonna clean and cook and take a bath, WOOHOO!!!!
Seriously, though, I don't have any big plans for the night, but will be going out with my mom on sunday. It'll be just us two, as adults, with Jazzdad watching the boys. Sistah-girl asked me when the last time Mom and I did anything, just the two of us, no kids, and my innitial response was, "Bigguy's what, 4 years olds now?" But, that's not quite true-we used to go to our weightwatchers meetings together, and that was relatively kid free-but rarely did we actually go out and do anything. I am looking forward to that. Tomorrow, Auntie is gonna swing buy, bring me my card, and maybe we'll go shopping, once again, no boys. I saw her, child free, on wednesday, but that was to take her to the hopsital and then to get her truck, so I don't think that counts. Auntie's man was upset when he found out she hadn't gotten me my card yet, and demanded that she see me tomorrow-he's the one who was in the hospital, so he want's to make sure I have a good birthday since I helped out him and auntie. Tonight, I will probably just make dinner for me and Hubby and the boys. The only way we can go out is if Bear and Mrs Bear pay me the full amount they owe me, and that'll pro'lly not happen. Since I will more than likely be cooking, I asked Bigguy what he wanted for dinner, to get some ideas. his response is as follows
"Meatloaf, with ketchup...yep, you should by the stuff for meatloaf...been a long time since we had meat loaf...OH!! Or maybe...a GIGANTIC PIZZAAAA!!!!! yep, pizza or a ginormous meatloaf...you should go to the Gigantic Pizza and Humongus Meatloaf Store" and by me dinner there, momma. Momma...why are you laughing so hard?"

So, if you call me, and I'm not home, I am at the really big foodstuff store, I guess.

DAMN YOU BRAXTON HICKS, DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!

two days til' twenty-seven

Dec ninth will be my twenty-seventh birthday. Hubby is twenty-eight. I am pregnant with our third, and last, biological child. A friend of mine will be thirty-five in January, she and her husband, who is also a year older, like mine, are expecting their first child four or five months after Baby#3 is due. I am a young parent, just like my mom, my mother-in-law, and many other people I know. I am finding, though, that the other stay-at-home moms are older than me, and don't understand where I am coming from, but other people my age who are working are not moms, and they no longer understand me, either.

People keep asking me what I really, truly, want for my birthday. Just last night, I relized it would be nice to have some new spices for my kitchen, and maybe a free standing rack or lazy-susan for them to be displayed at. I felt odd after saying this, like somehow the wild girl from my youth and the 55 year old future me suddenly merged, and thus I am the almost 27 year old HW2K. I really want useful things, especially kitchen things. The kitchen is my haven. I keep it clean and unclutterred, and my life feels the same. It is one of the few spots in my life where I know I can teach Bigguy something, something good, and he isn't just humouring me, he is actually learning, and doesn't already know.
I love getting clothing, but being pregnant makes that slightly impractical, I can get maternity clothing, and never wear it again, or get clothing that might not fit me for who-knows-how-long after the baby arrives.

I will tell all of you, here and now, what I really, truly, want. I feel guilty for admitting it, though. I want my sons' room to be clean, without my having to do most of it, I want to sit down for a meal at a restaraunt, and get to eat all my food, while hot, without having to cut up peices for a child, I want to go anywhere, and not have to keep an eye on a very active four year old, and a very loud one year old, no matter how well behaved they are in public, I want to go some where, come back home, and find my house, completely clean, without having to lift a finger or telling other that I need help. In short, I want a fantasy world, and I feel guilty for it. Somehow I feel that not being able to be super woman, all the time, even while pregnant, diminishes my stay-at-home mom cred, and other housewives the world over are being notified of my shortcomings in their super secret mop bucket communication devices. I also know, however, that my family appreciates what I do, that I am a good mom, and as long as it is clean for Christmas, I am all good.

Oh, and since it is almost my birthday, it is almost time to get a tree and decorate. We all know that it is a crime to have a real tree up BEFORE my birthday, but after is OK.

living life in black and white, also, sundogs

Driving Hubby to work, I cross over The River--people in MN know whereof I speak-more over, I can state I cross The River on 494, and they know exactly the bridge I am on-bwahahaha--There was a very dense fog this morning, coupled with a pre-awakening dusting of snow-and the salt and sludge being thrown onto my windshield faster than I can slear it off-and the world had an oddly black and white feel to it. I am looking around as much as driving allows, gasped, and almost pulled off the road for a few moments, just to look. Then, I saw a literally breathtaking view(breathtaking events, btw, are not as pleasent as they could be if you are opperating a minivan at 65 mph) There was a beautiful pair of sundogs, in full clolor, standing out against the fog in such a way you could see the top of the circle. I have never seen anything so powerful while driving hubby to work before. It's as if Mother Nature was saying "It's okay, child, everyone makes mistakes, and everyone does right, and it all works out beautifully anyhow" For some reason, Mother Nature always sounds like The Oracle, from The Matrix, in my mind, and I find it soothing.

Do sondogs come in pairs, or is the dual sundog counted as one-you always get two, and they form a circle-any of you science types can fill me in?

Bigguy, in all his diabolical glory

I amsitting at the computer, fretting over what is going to end up being a large checking oversight in the banks favor, when Bigguy comes into the room.
"Momma, I am thirsty"
The rule, that he knows all to well, is that he can have ONE cup of cocoa, or warm milk with honey, or chamomile tea, at bedtime. He hadn't yet had it, so I make him some caffiene free cocoa.
Cut to half an hour later, and me deciding that the error won't kill us, we will be in the hole till friday, at the max, I do not now when the check will go through, or even if it was deposited yet, andI have my banks assurance that they will homor it-because they make four more dollors by charging me an overdraft instead of an NSF-greedy bastards. But friday, I will be getting paid by Bear, which will cover everything, and by one of the basement dwelling roommates, which will cover groceries, and my going out for my birthday. Getting ready to go to bed when in comes Bigguy, again.
"Momma, I am still thirsty," setting cup on edge of my desk, and while walking out the door, "Oh, and I am hungry!"
It's the hungry part that he knows gets me, everytime. I promised myself a long, long, time ago that my children would never have to go to sleep hungry while they lived under my roof and were under age 18 or in school. Bigguy is really skinny. The combination of those two things gets him a bedtime sandwich, or popcorn, or cookie almost every time. I have finally wised up to his ruse, claver though it is, and started enforcing dinner time eating a little heavier, as he will eat just enough a dinner, so he can be hungry at bedtime. I have learned that letting him go to bed when it is his own fault he is hungry, then feeding him in the morning seems to be working.
In my defense, if we ate dinner at 5, I would give him a snack before now, nooo problem, but dinner ended up being at about eight tonight, so he get nothing!!!
BWAHAHAHAHA
time for me to go to bed now

playing my memories over the airwaves for everyone to hear

Scientists believe that out of all the senses, smell is the sence most closely linked to memory. I will argue this with them any day of the week. For me, it's hearing. Yes, smelss can bring back fond feelings, good and bad memeries, and brief glimpses of the past, but a sound, a song, a phrase brings back entire relationships, whole months and days, and sometimes an ecstatic joy or profound grief and sadness.

When I drive, I listen to the radio, and will constantly flip through the stations untill I here what I want. The kicker is, I often times don't know what I want to listen to until I hear it. Today, while driving, a song came on that reminded of an old boyfriend. He was a friend, dirst and formost, and somehow a romantic relationship came out of that, and in my youthful stupidity, or ignorance, I threw that relationship away for, well, something and someone stupid. My point, though, is that this one song by a group that we both like, brought back memories of the happiness and silliness we had, his intesity, our inside jokes, our moments alone, the pain that I caused and the sadness and anger I had towards myself afterwards. A three minute song made me relive about a year of my life.

Sometimes, music will just make me feel. Sometimes, it makes me laugh, occasionally, a song can make me cry. Movie, book and tv quotes bring back soo much, but songs, playing for everyone to hear, bring back my past, in all it's splendor and squalor, for everyone to hear.

Train asses and other funnies

Bigguy had Sistah-Girl and me laughing so hard after dinner that I was afraid we would break. The expression 4 year olds can use to describe things are priceless!

busy day

It all started with hubby staying home sick, again. He is feeling better, has an appetite again, will be going back to work tomorrow, and, thankfully, it's not a kidney stone. All we can figure is everyone in the house keeps playing tag withthe mystery illness. I have been spared due to my constant stuffiness of pregnancy. I have to drive one of the basement dwelling roommates to and ome from work, but he is appreciative, and I hear a report on the radio that his job's corporate office(Walgreen's) has suspended 4 St Louis Park pharmacists, WITHOUT PAY, for failing to fill prescriptions for emergency contraception. Yay Walgreens!!! WOOHOO!!! I will get all my prescriptions filled there now for sure! As I leave to pick him up, my cell phone rings-it's the Doctor's office, they have all the results from my ultrasound. Everything is perfect! Yes, the plecenta is a little close to the cervix, but is anchored in such a way that it will grow AWAY from the cervix, not toward it. No placenta Previa for me. Oh, did I mention my slip onto my ass and wrench my sholder down the stairs this morning? After ascertaining that myself and BabyBoy#3 were fine, everyone yelled at me for being silly enough to fall on the stairs, while preggers. Yeah...like I tried! Then, everyone cleaned! Not, just me, I have a dining room again, plus a kitchen and a fair portion of living room.
Oh, also, we decided on the name for BB#3, which will not be divulged here, because I don't use any of the boys names here.
I am rambly and tired and want an orange.

Oh. My. God.

This will be an open letter in two parts-
First to the People Of Minnesota
Dear POMN,
It snowed! It snowed last week, last year, and pretty much every year since there's been a minnesota! Why is it that y'all seem to forget, evry yeear, that this white fluffy stuff, that is cold, and often slipperry, falls from the sky and clogs the roads. Why do you forget, every year, that people will be idiots, including you, by driving at vastly different speeds and swerving all around in bad conditions. PEOPLE! GET A GRIP!! It's just SNOW, it comes, it goes, sometimes it does both in the same day, sometime it sticks around for a while, but it happens every year. Oh, and if I can brush the snow off the top of my minivan, while PREGNANT, you can sure as hell brish the snow off the roof of your ford festiva or whatever the fuck your little tuiny car right in front of me is, that is blowing all the accumilated snow and ice from it's roof into my window any time we go faster than say...twenty miles an hour. Thank You.

Part two, to the Drunken Girl I Used to Go to High School With
Dear Chick-
I am really, really, glad that you finally got help for your drinking problem, I know that it couldn't have been easy. I am sorry, that in your teens, you felt the urge to drink yourself into a stupor and do stupid things. I also understand that one of the twelve steps is seeking forgiveness. However, I do not think that the powers that be at AA wanted you, if by chance you were to run into someone from highschool, say ME, at the grocery store, right before a holiday, to fess up to having slept with my boyfreind from almost 11 years ago. Really honey, it was an awkward situation, and I could care less, it's over and done, and I haven't seen him in YEARS. Did you give anythought to if I really needed to know this, or did you just decide, "Oh, Theres HW2K, I should dredge up really bad, potentially painful, and deffinately awkward things from our past, in the MIDDLE OF THE PRODUCE DEPT?""" This struck you as a good idea?! To be perfectly blunt, I knew he slept with you, and pretty much every other woman in the school, I was young and stupid, and insecure. You were popular, drunk and easy. We were both easy marks. Get over it, and please, don't corner anyone else in the store.


Oh, and for anyone wondering-Littleman is doing fairly much better, Bigguy is whiny, and Hubby is home sick today, and I am praying it's not a kidney stone.

more thanksgiving stuff

My mom does her thanksgiving the sunday following, so that, feasably, everyone can be there. This only works, however, when someones youngest child decided to become heavily conjested and starts vomitting profusely. I am rather frustrated, in that this is the second major, and I don't know how many total, family get together I've missed in the last just over a year. I know it's not entirely my fault, as I cannot control when my kids fall ill, but it still sucks.

thanksgiving, the recap

Everything came out well, I think. Relatively on time, and, as always for turkey day, there was more than enough food. The only real problem I have is this-My turkey was very flavorful, but cooked faster than it should have by almost an hour, and was dry-but only on one side!! Otherwise-it rocked. Oh, and it became painfully obvious that I need a large serving platter, and a large cutting board of the meat carving variety-in a pinch-a pizza pan works though.

Now, for something completely different-
My Mother-in-Law does many a thing to piss me off, being she is queen passive-aggressive, and as I said, I don't like to play that fame, but every now and again, she does something that is genuinely nice for me. She has a fabulous pot that I have envied for a while, it is heavy, cooks evenly, rarely sticks, and, well, it just rocks. She and the FIL found on at the thrifst store they frequent, picked it up for me, are giving it a proper cleaning and dis-infecting first-just to be on the safeside, and then it will be mine! Plus, they are taking the boys tomorrow so that I can finally see the Harry Potter movie, since I didn't go when everyone else did.

my kitchen, part three...

Pies are made and cooling, well, okay, they are baked and cooling, the Mrs Smith's Pies people baked them. Sink is shined, counters sscrubbed, floors mopped, stove shiny. Now, can I keep it cleaned? If I am smart, I will clean as I go tomorrow.

my kitchen, part two...

After going to the grocery store, and miraculously buying everything I need to make dinner tomorrow for less than $35, well okay, like 40 cents less, but still, less, I came home, recovered from the horror of day before thanksgiving at Cub Foods, oh Dear God, the humanity, and prepared to clean afformentioned kitchen. I have pies to bake tonight, so I can get in a 17 pound turkey tomorrow, so I can feed my household and Sistah-Girl,(as I have decided to call her here). One needs cleanliness, and perhaps more importantly, space and dishes, in order to cook. No, not all my dishes are dirty, not even half, just the diches essential to making Thanksgiving dinner, oh, and tonights dinner, must remember to feed the Hubby and children tonight! I open the dishwasher...pull out the bottem rack...and notice...wait for it.. THE THREE INCHES OF STANDING WATER!!! Yes, standing water in my dishwasher, so I decided to run it again, with all the original dishes in there, to make sure someone who is roughly 3 and a half feet tall didn't walk in and turn the dial with his four year old fingers. Yes, I could do the dishes by hand, but that will take longer, and I need the sink clear to thaw the turkey in it's luxurious ice-water bath, otherwise it'll get thawed in the tub, and then the boys cannot have baths tonight. Let's be honest, the chances of either son getting a bath tonoght is slim to none anywho.

Oh, and did I mention I still need to get toilet paper and laundry degertent-neither of which are necessary to dinner tonight or tomorrow, but both will make life easier and cleaner.

It's almost over-And then, Mom-the-Hipple gets to do it all on sunday! Well, minus the Green bean casserrole, I'll bring that.

my kitchen...

my kitchen is a mess, my stove is filthy, I need to do the dishes and mop the floor, but...my entire house smells like two fresh loves of crispy banana bread, tomorrow it will smell like pie, and thursday it will just smell good!

Baby # 3

I had my 20 week ultra sound today, well 20 weeks 1 day. I am halfway through this pregnancy with baby#3, and everything is looking good. My doctor will be getting back to me early next week to set up an appointment before our next regularly scheduled endevor if it looks like anything is amiss, but I doubt that will happen. I was lucky in that I got a very honest ultrasound technician. US techs have a hard row to hoe, especially when they are working with pregnant women. They are limitted by liability laws in what they can tell the family,but at the same tame, can use their judgement to decide what is necessary. The US tech, when I had my ultra sound with Littleman, was withen their legal right to tell me about the 2 vessel cord, as that was obvious, not easily prone to error, and within her guidelines of what is doable, but chose instead to make a lot of "uh-huh" and "hmmm" noises that freaked the shit out of me and Hubby. This time, Hubby was home with the kids, all of whom were still in bed. The tech had everything warmed up and ready to go, she let me know everytime she found what she needed, if she needed to look a little more what she was saving images of, and if it all looked good. It was very reassuring that she had no problems finding the 4-chamber heart, and that the beat was stable, as both the boys have murmers. Innocent murmers, but they could become more malicious as they age and become more active. She found the cord right away, all three vessels in tact, entering the baby's belly and leaving the placenta. Both lungs, diaphragm, kidneys, liver, bladder and stomach all accounted for. I am so pleased. Many people do not have the luxery of giving birth to a healthy baby, with all parts present, accounted for, and functional, and it appears that I will be having this for the third time in three years. Her only concern was very, very mild, she stressed that Dr A will call me if he thinks it's an issue- My placenta is sitting nearer to the cervix than is normal. It is not touching the cervix, nor is it overlapping the cervix, so it does NOT look like placenta previa will be an issue, but she just wanted to give me a heads up. Everything looks fine, healthy and on track for the babies developmental age, incliding Hubby and my baby's trademark big head and linebacker shoulders. The circumferance is already measuring in at roughly 17.5 cenimeters, which translates roughly into 6.5 to 7 inches. It will be at least double that come birth. The shoulders you ask? I do not have an exact measurement, but the tech said they were sizeable.
I am happy to have a healthy baby, I am blessed to have a heathy baby.

Oh, what's that you ask? Wasn't I supposed to find out gender today? I did! It appears that baby#3, who still doesn't have a name picked out yet, is going to be Baby BOY #3. Well, either that, or I'm having a girl with a pronounced penis!

7:30 tomorrow morning

ultrasound at 7:30 am. I gained too much weight, again.

four in the morning?

I wake up, I had rolled over onto my back again, and cannot feel my feet. I need to pee, badly. I need to figure out if it's okay to wake up Hubby, to help me out of bed, 'cause I slept wrong, and cannot feel my feet, at four in the morning. Have I set the scene yet?
All of a sudden, I realise Hubby isn't in bed, he is in the hallway, grumbling, and Bigguy is whining. Okay, I think, Bigguy has had a nightmare, and Hubby, in one of his superdad moments, is dealing with it. WRONG!!!! Bigguy was still awake at four this morning! Quarter after four to be precise!!! What is a four year old boy doing awake at four in the morning???? Hubby impresses upon Bigguy the importance of going to sleep, immediately, and crawls into the room, explaining to me that when he got up to go to the bathroom, he saw that Bigguy was awake, and obviously had been all night long. After he helps me out of bed, and I go pee, we all drift off to sleep.
Cut to the morning. I woke up early, Baby bear needed to be watched for a few hours this morning as his Poppa Bear had a doctors appointment. I woke up early, three hours after the earlier incedent. Everyone is snug in bed. When Hubby wakes up, he lets me know that he wants Bigguy awake after I get home from dropping him at work. We wake up one of the roommates, drive Hubby to work, and begin the hour long task of waking up a four year old. It is 9:30 approximately when I get him down stairs, and about 10:30 when he stops whining and fussing and carrying on. I explain to him that when we say it's bedtime, he needs to stay in bed. Now, I get to keep a four year old, who hasn't gotten enough sleep, awake until at least 7:30 or 8 pm in order to try to get him on some semblance of a schedule.
Fun for me!!

NOOOO!!!!!

One of my favorite books is being turned into a movie-it looks to be good, so I am looking forward to seeing "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe." I grew up with them, and hope they are done justice. The VIDEO GAME, however, disturbs me. I was fine with the Lord of the Rings game, and am cool with all the Harry Potter commercialization, but not C.S. Lewis, please.

Old friends

I am quite lucky in that I have some friends yet that have known me for over ten years. Most of them are very honest with me, and I with them. While having a converation with one particular friends, whom I have not always seen eye to eye with due to religeous differences, he pointed out just how much I have changed since becoming a mom. I realized some of the changes right off the bat, but others surprised me. I always knew that being a mom mellowed me out in many respects. It made me take my relationship with Hubby more seriously, took me off the dating scene, changed how I dressed, and in many respects, changed my attitude about life in general. What I didn't realize was how ahppy it made my long time friends to see these changes. They no longer live in fear of me getting hurt, badly hurt, or running away, or hurting myself, or snapping. What amazed me, is I never knew how scared they were for me. I never knew, with as honest as we all are with each other, how much I was hurting them by just being me, which at the time was a pretty messed up person.
I am very glad that I came, relatively unscathed, all said and done, through the forest of my past, and I am glad that I have a few, close friends who were there with me the entire way, to remind where I came from, and how proud I should be of what I have now.
I have a husband, two kids with a third on the way, a fabulous, and supporting family. I am lucky, and I know it.

a few blessed moments of almost silence

For what seems like the first time in days, it is almost quiet on the small child front. Baby Bear is finally napping, after a morning and early afternoon full of false starts. As we all know, giggling at your feet is much more productive than sleep, yes. Littleman has his One-Year-Molars coming in. Oddly enough, these are molars that arrive in the generally time frame that a child turns one. Out of all of his teath that arrive on schedule in his poor cross-teething mouth, it is his molar on the bottom. The half of his mouth that, until yesterday, only had 2 of his 6 teeth, and therefor the harder area in which for a tooth to come thru. For newer readers to this here thing called my blog, Cross-Teething is a phenomena wherein the teeth cut through the gums in an order distinctly out of the normal pattern. In littleman's mouth, it happenned thussly-bottom two center teeth, almost at the same time, aound ten months(teething started at three), top right two(being right center then one just to right of that) at about 11 months, followed by the left top two at about 12 and a half months. Now, at thirteen months, the left bottom molar came out of nowhere in just two and a half days, teething and all, the other three, plus the other two bottom teeth that go into making the front eight are all really close, but look to be taking as long as they can without medical intervention. Bigguy still has the mystery virus. It is deffinately a virus, not the flu, and not hugely communicable, so I suppose it could be worse. All said and done, I have a four year old that doesn't feel well, so is whiney and clingy, not to mention hugely frustrated, because he was feeling much. much better yesterday, and woke up feeling "very angry and unhappy" in his tummy, nose and throat. (It isn't right that he is that cute, while that sick), I have a cranky, sleep deprived Bugguy, coming in at thirteen months, who is hurting, and mad because Momma cannot make it all better, and what am I doing holding and feeding another baby when he doesn't feel good, and Ohh1 Is that banana and cheerios and pepperoni and milk(eat eat eat, sleep), and a three and a half month old who is more interested in his outer limbs than sleep, so is becoming more cranky. Just about the time that I get one or even two settled down, the others act up, and all are awake and cranky! And just think, in a few more months, I will have a newborn!! Granted, I won't have Baby Bear anymore, and Littleman will be older and more used to having a baby around, and Bigguy should be starting school in september.

On a different note, we have the bed set up, and will be very comfy for the few months until we buy a queen size. I figure we will need the queen by february so that my rapidly growing tummy will stay in bed and ubder the covers. Oy, I am getting huge. Yes, some of it isn't baby wight, but all of the fat is at the arms and thighs-the tummy is all baby. Yep,all baby, and that watermelon I swallowed whole on a dare.

blogiversary, and cardboard boxes

First, let us all stop to wish my blog a Happy first birthday!! YAY!!!

Second, something that will come to no surprise of anyone with smallish children, or anyone who has seen my oldest's favorite playthings The Cardboard box is added to the Toy Hall Of Fame!!! This is fabulous, and about time. I am not certain of how long the National Toy Hall of Fame has been around, but the box should have been the first entrant. Thank you!

hubbub

There's been a lot of hubbub recently about various places asserting stroller rules, rules that keep children behaved, and the like. Here now, is my official standing on this matter.
1-it takes a man and a woman to have a child, please remember that fathers are parents, too.
2- let your kids run wild at home, Hell! I know I do, but in public teach them manners. Nice people don't through tantrums, food, or hard plastic items at one another. If you misbehave, we leave. End of story.
3- very small children will occasionally fuss, they do that, if they get to be annoying, leave and sooth them, then come back.
4- Breastfeeding is a normal thing, it is not dirty, nasty or wrong...however, it may offend other people, so try to be discreet. I am not suggesting you leave a room, but try not to whip out the tit and spray someone, OK?
5- If you disagree with how I am raising my child-keep it to yourself-exceptions-if your child had the EXACT same problem as mine, and something worked well for you, offer a suggestion politely and non forcefully, if you think I am hurting my child by doing/not doing something, aproach me, nonconfrontationally, and we can talk...otherwise-BACK THE HELL OFF
6- if I am bothering you in public, say something politely instead of shooting me dirty looks, I respond to conversation

I'll add more as I think about it.

"I do not love shots!"

Bigguy was not doing to hot this week. He woke up just fine on tuesday, and in the hour between 3 and 4 pm, he was stuffy, feverish, and had a swollen and sore throat. I have a fear of sore throats. As a child, I had strep more times than I can count, I had so much pennecillin(sic?) that it doesn't even work for me anymore, instead, I get a Z-pac, or whatever new cure-all drug is on the market, as amoxycillen doesn't work to hot either. I finally had my tonsils out at 15, after getting very, very ill. I remember, in all those doctors visits, my mom demanding they do something, and being told not to worry, I'd grow out of it. Yeah, right! A tonsilectomy and adnoidectoly at 15 is NOT growing out of it. What all this boils down to, is anytime my kids run a fever with a sore throat, I panic. I am always certain it is going to be strep, or their tonsils, and they are going to have to endure what I went through. Hubby knows that if they ever get strep more than once in a year, I am DEMANDING that their tonsils be romoved. It is not very complicated, and it's not like your tonsils really do anything anyway, do they?
After a trip to the Dr on wed. it turns out that it was "just a virus". This means, no medication, it'll go away on it's own, you could be misserable for 2 days, you could be misserable for a week. I was glad to hear that, but I felt bad, because I knew Bigguy wasn't leaving that office without a shot. If it turned out to be strep, he would get an antibiotic shot(the hard to spell pennicilen(sic?)), if it wasn't bacterial, and his fever was in check or gone, which it was, he was getting his flu vaccine. Well, flu shot in the thigh won! All I have heard since is "But Momma, I do not love shots!" Apparently, in Bigguy's world, if you do not love something, you should not have to deal with it.
Now that he is feeling better, I am going to have a fairly child-free weekend! The in-laws are taking both boys overnight tonight. The male portion of the in-laws is taking Bigguy to the Train Museum, which bigguy just looooves, to surprise bigguy with the new exhibit. What is the new exhibit, you might ask? Why Thomas the Tank Engine, of course! Only Bigguys very favoritest train that ever was...ever!!! That four year old boy is going to be on cloud nine! Then, for dinner, they are going to Old Country Buffet! Food nirvana for the small tyke who adores slad and veggies crowd. If at than point you think the weekend couldn't get any better, you're wrong. After they get brought home tomorrow, my Sister, Bigguy's Auntie, is taking him over night!!! I have no idea what they will be doing, I just know he is thrilled to get to sleep on his aunties couch. And to top it all off, his Auntie step-sister and Uncle Rice will be here for brunch on sunday. Littleman will be happy to see people over night friday, and to have momma and poppa all to himself on saturday, and to see more people on sunday, but Bigguy-man, this is shaping up to be the ultimate four-year-old weekend!

What's that you ask? What are Hubby and I going to do with a childfree zone tonight, and a one, small, child zone tomorrow night? We have a very romantic weekend chock full of CLEANING!! I shit you not. Child free time, and we are going to clean. The boys room cannot really be cleaned unless they are gone, being they make more messes trying to help clean then they actually clean. Once I've got it good and thouroghly clean, Bigguy can keep his toys and books and clothes put away, until then, it's a war zone. We will be deep cleaning everything, including the bathrooms, and instituting "The Chore Wheel" probably one of the most usefull housecleaning tools.(Props to Jazz-Dad for introducing me to the chore wheel) I will have a house that is baby safe, clean, presentable, and comfortable at all times, damnit! I want to have one of those houses where people go, lets go to HW2K's house and visit, it's always clean, she always has coffee, and I bet she'll have some fresh baked goods too. I WANNA BE JUNE CLEAVER!!!!!!!

Holy Tired, Batman!!

Man, am I tired. I do not know why, I got plenty of sleep, I have been eating right, and the weather hasn't changed too drastically over the last few days. Normally I would blame the pregnancy for making me sleeping, but at this point, 18 weeks, I should be having much more energy. Maybe I have been sleeping, but not getting restfull sleep. For a long while, Hubby and I have been saying that we will be getting our "real" bed soon, as opposed to our collection of mattresses. Well, Poppa Bear just moved 6 doors down, and informed us that he and Mamma Bear have a full size bed for us with frame. Granted, it's a little bit smaller than a Queen, but it will tide us over until after tax return season, when we will have the money for a better quality of matress than what we would be getting now. I will have this fabulous, free, bed tonight or tomorrow, so I will be able to update you soon on how much your sleeping surface affects your quality of sleep, and maybe even your quantity of sleep. Also, with a better bed, I will hopefully be able to get into a possition, comfortably, that forces Baby#3 off of my bladder and my Vargas nerve, without the baby pinching my Scaitic nerve. FUNFUNFUN!!!

dear god

read this, pay close attention people, and read all the way down, where you will encounter this statement:
The Army now admits that it secretly dumped 64 million pounds of nerve and mustard agents into the sea, along with 400,000 chemical-filled bombs, land mines and rockets and more than 500 tons of radioactive waste - either tossed overboard or packed into the holds of scuttled vessels.
followed by
These weapons of mass destruction virtually ring the country, concealed off at least 11 states - six on the East Coast, two on the Gulf Coast, California, Hawaii and Alaska. Few, if any, state officials have been informed of their existence.

The chemical agents could pose a hazard for generations. The Army has examined only a few of its 26 dump zones and none in the past 30 years.

I will quit quoting from the article now. I will continue to pray that it comes to light that this is just some cruel hoax, but unfortunately, it is all to true.

Things like this are what make me fear, truly fear, for my childrens future.

breakfast this morning

My sister came over for breakfast this morning, we ate, drank coffee, and talked for a really long time. Then bigguy woke up, we talked and laughed some more, then Auntie came over, and there was more laughing and talking. All in all, it was really good. What surprised me was how many of my recolections of growing up are simmilar to hers. Sometimes, when siblings talk about ther childhood there is a bit of a "what family are you from?!" mentality, not today. We remebered, we laughed, we talked about relegion and magik and beliefs and all sorts of stuff, and we ate. There is something about eating together that brings people closer. Maybe it's because we like our eggs the same way, sunny side up, yokey, all cut up, so the yolk is blanded with everything else. You eat this by dredging butterred toast thru the yolk, place some of the whites on the toast, and eat. It is not pretty to watch. She told me a funny story about eating eggs like that in France, and her hosts shock. It rocked. I highly suggest to everyone that they sit down, soon, and eat a homemade breakfast with someone that they do not see every day.

On a different note-
Bigguy is at an age where he is testing his limits with lying, and back-talking. The backtalking is more frustrating and annaoying than anything else, because it is very logical balk talk eighty percent of the time, and the other twenty, it is so illogical as to not make any sense at all. The lying is frustrating because he will do something right in front of me, but when I call him on it, he denies it and changes the subject. We are working on cutting this particular quirk off immediatly. Littleman, in order to not be outdone, has decided to balance the utter frustration of trying not to nap anymore, or at the least force us to drastically change our schedule to the point where we don't have one anymore, with the absolute cuteness of the lopsided "kissyface". If you want to see the kissyface, look in the mirror and do a very exagerated lip pucker, as if you were going to kiss someone. Now do this with your bottom lip lightly sucked in and very, very slightly to the right.
Heart.
Meltingly.
Cute.

Telemarketters

When Hubby and I got married, I had my name legally changed. On top of the whole taking his last name thing, I hyphenated my first and middle names. I've always signed it this way, without the huphen, but with my sig, it's hard to tell if the
'-' is there or not. My name is telemarketing HELL. The first four letters, that which comprise the name pre-hyphen, are almost always mispronounced, as is the second part of my name, when free standing. They look like they should both have long vowels where the vowels are short, and short where it is long. To add to the confusion, if, say, the list where the marketers got my name from omits the hyphen(generally because I will occasionally omit it, just to mess with the list selling masses), you then have a matched set of vowels right next to each other. Two A's to be precise. No one thinks that there should be a break there, so they try to pronounce my (when hyphenated) easily four and a half to five syllable name, in three.
Heehee, years of having a funkily pronounced name have finally come out in my favor!

It's Nanowrimo!...but, not...

November is NanoWrimo-National Novel Writing Month, but, well, not for me. After thinking it over for the last few days, I have come to the conclusion that Nano just doesn't jibe with my writing style. I am more of a quality, even if it takes me a month to get the perfect paragraph, sort of person, not a quantity person. Ask any english teacher I had over the years who would become very frustrated that I was turning in 'A' papers, but only able to get a 'C-' because I waited so long to turn tham in. I very much have a perfectionist streak in me, and writing 50,000 words in a month, around everything else I do...not gonna happen. Also, I prioritiezed, and writing, though important, ranks kinda low at the moment. Marriage and Kids, then Household, then Fiber arts, with me time sprinkled in wherever for good measure. Writing for anything other than relaxation and unwinding was down somewhere with de-crumbing the toaster and cleaning under my oven. If I manage to get my book written, that I plan on eventually writing and publishing, while doing my relaxing and unwinding, Great-If not, it can wait till I have the time. My kids are only going to grow up once, and I need to be fully preasent when that happens. So, for everyone who is still doing Nano-Good luck, I hope it works for you. For those who decided not to-You are doing what is best for you, and ultimately-that is what matters.

Be good, have fun, and enjoy the little things. In a week-there won't be any color left in the trees, so go out and find the brightest red, orange, and yellow(if you can) leaves possible-press them between wax paper, wax sides together, with a low iron, and remember for years how perfect the weather was today, and that you took the time to enjoy it.

Candy!!!!

All said and done, I think the boys only hav about two pounds of candy, each. Granted, Littleman's is mostly Hubby's and Bigguy's, since they carried him and his bag, respectively, and oddly enough, Littleman got a little more loot. I think it was the cuteness factor, very little beats a 1-year-old, smiley pirate, in an eyepatch. He loves that eyepatch.
We would have stayed out longer, but for two things. 1) it was getting really, really, cold out. Especially for little hands that refused to wear mittens. 2) Many people started trick-or-treating way earlier than we did, and apparently more people were out in this area this year as compared to years past, and people were running out of candy! Nothing upsets a four-year-old as much as being told, "Sorry, I just gave away my last peice!"
Hubby decided, that due to their being "good troopers", he would hit the after Hallowe'en candy clearance sales. Did I mention that one of our roommies works retail, and we get a discount? Also, we will have tons of leftover candy coming in from the In-Laws, because the MIL feels that it is her responsibilty to try to givemy kids candy, that I will later have to hide, or throw out.....or eat.